“This is awkward!” - Americans say when things take an unexpected turn and this makes someone very awkward! “This is awkward!” - said the hero of one movie when he kissed his girlfriend in front of her boyfriend, another guy. “This is awkward!” - said the hero of another film, who was caught watching a film of “low artistic value.” “This is awkward - How awkward” - sometimes I want to say to a girl who is about to blush and be very ashamed of her action.
So, today we’ll talk about the awkward situations that you, dear ones, are so good at getting into. We’ll also try to understand how to successfully get out of them without harming either your reputation or karma.
I just watched as you recorded me on your phone...
If you have to say this, then the operation “randomly disappearing numbers from the phone book” has failed. And yes, “this is awkward!” It is extremely difficult, but possible, to get out of the situation without a scandal, if you have previously said and shown that you are not jealous of anyone. Convincing that you just looked at what was written on his phone, given the disappearance of several numbers, is unlikely to work. Here it’s best to tell the truth: yes, I was jealous; yes, deleted; Yes, such an infection! It’s hard to be angry after this, you’ll agree.
Who's calling? Nobody is calling!
It happens sometimes: I went to a romantic dinner with my current boyfriend, and the past pops up on my mobile phone. The present one is furious, the past one does not give up. In this case, it is best to pick up the phone and say in a cold tone that you are busy. It’s even better to ask in surprise what he needs again and how much you can explain and ask him not to call. Yes, after this, the relationship with your ex will deteriorate, even if it was not good. Reluctance? Then try to hide the call and ruin your relationship with the real one.
to contentsI didn’t look at the photos, I took the likes!
What an excuse! That's right: you left your ex, take all the likes and comments with you. In fact, looking through photos of an ex is not such a crime and does not necessarily indicate a desire to “bring back the past.” But try to explain this to a jealous guy. Therefore, if you are already burned, say right away that you are taking away the likes from this asshole!
It was a friendly kiss!
Yes, sometimes nice girls find themselves in such situations, especially with ex-boyfriends. This is real awkward! To say that you are not guilty is to say nothing. Did he forcefully kiss you? What if it wasn’t obvious from the outside that you were resisting? Was this a mistake? Great, arivederchi! You don’t know what didn’t find you? Still good bye! Do you regret that this happened? I'm glad, so what? Hmmm, I don’t know how to get out of this situation smoothly. Probably not. Therefore, if the guy is not the last... that is, you know that all this will not end well, go all in! Why not? If the ship is sinking, at least you can gurgle normally into the water! J
to contentsDear, where are headlights for your car sold?
Well, anything can happen in life: plates break, mugs break, and headlights break too. For various reasons, of course, but that’s not the point. It is probably very inconvenient and unpleasant to cause harm to a loved one. But what can you do if it happened by accident? On the other hand, he knew that this happens sometimes? He knew, which means he accepted the risk. It’s a pity, of course, it’s a nuisance, it’s very inconvenient, but we need to look for a way out. You shouldn’t start looking for where to repair your car without your boyfriend telling you. You always have to pay for urgency, especially since it will still take several days: while they do it, while the paint dries... It’s better in this case to immediately tell the truth: yes, you may lose access to the car, but trust will remain!!!
It's time to change your brush anyway!
“And I need to clean the sink.” And the toothbrush is so maneuverable that you decided to look under the rim of the toilet with it. “Let him know how to flirt with female employees in the office!”
- Honey, what are you doing with my toothbrush in the toilet?
- But it still needs to be changed. And I really needed it. Convenient, though!
- Why didn’t you take yours?
- Well, yours... came to hand...
Revenge has failed and you will even have to buy him a new toothbrush with your own money. But you didn’t burn, thank fate for that. Next time you'll lock the bathroom door!
Starting to hiccup on public transport, tearing your pants in some busy place, opening the toilet door and discovering that someone is already there, confusing a pregnant girl with someone who is simply fat - all this is terribly awkward. Now imagine how something from this list also happens among colleagues with whom you will then work. Any of these mistakes can seriously damage your reputation.
An awkward situation makes us feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. But it's not all bad. If you look at it from an unexpected angle, you can understand that it can bring a lot of benefits.
Embarrassment and awkwardness are the emotions that we experience in relation to other people when we commit a puncture or behave inappropriately to social norms and standards accepted in society. Emotions associated with shame and guilt are often perceived as negative when in fact they are not.
Susan David, professor of psychology at Harvard University
The positive aspects of awkward situations
1. Increasing the level of trust
People who find themselves in uncomfortable situations and feel embarrassed and awkward because of it will have much more credibility just because they care about how they feel. There is also a high probability that their embarrassment will be forgiven and forgotten much faster than the embarrassment of a person who does not care about the opinions of others.
2. Preliminary preparation for difficult life situations
Imagine that you have to tell a future client about your product. To make a good impression, you will try to prepare as best as possible and think through the answers to all the tricky questions in advance.
Potential pitfalls encourage us to try harder so as not to lose face at a crucial moment.
Once you get into awkward situations and come out of them with grace, you become more resilient and more prepared for the difficulties that may someday occur in your life. Situations involving embarrassment and embarrassment can be considered excellent training, which largely builds character.
3. Translation of key values
Awkward situations serve as unique social regulators. With their help, people understand what behavior is acceptable in normal society and what is not. Such situations are designed to maintain order and shed light on the things that really matter to us: caring for others, being considerate of loved ones, and being interested in making a good impression.
Three ways to help cope with awkwardness
Most of us consciously try not to get into awkward situations, but no one is immune from them. Here are a few things you can do to ease the awkwardness.
1. Treat the situation with humor
The most common patterns of behavior of people in awkward situations are:
- to hide and try to hush everything up unnoticeably;
- courageously take the blow and try to settle everything.
The advice is this: don’t try to hide what has already happened. Everyone already noticed that you screwed up anyway. What's the point of denying everything? The best thing you can do in such a situation is to approach it with humor.
Show that you are not afraid. This will show others your courage and self-confidence. You can even say something like, “Wow, how awkward I am!” to minimize the tension that arises.
2. Control your emotions
Advice like “don’t be nervous,” “cool down,” and “relax” may seem rather banal, but that doesn’t make it any less effective.
An interesting and revealing experiment was conducted at the University of Western Ontario. Participants were asked to recall situations for which they were ashamed and situations that evoked pleasant emotions. After this, they were offered a choice of hot and cold drinks.
People who recalled awkward situations mostly chose cold drinks. This is due to the body’s natural reaction to situations that make us feel uncomfortable: we feel hot, our face turns red, we want to cool down somehow.
Emotions and our body temperature are closely related. If you find yourself in a situation that is out of control, try to calm down and not make it worse.
3. Forgive yourself
Need to learn. This is the price we pay for being imperfect but normal people.
If you are often embarrassed, then try to overcome yourself at least once and observe the reactions of others. Do they laugh friendly and look at you sympathetically? Instead of hiding your eyes, apologize and laugh at yourself with them.
Leslie Shore, psychologist
If you make a mistake, you shouldn’t torture yourself endlessly. We need to practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Accepting that you, like everyone else, is not perfect can help you let go and let go of the past.
We hope these simple ways to overcome embarrassment help you at least a little.
The main thing about an awkward situation is that we ourselves define it as such. Or not.
It's a question of identification. It is no coincidence, it seems, that the interpretation of the word “awkwardness” is given in the following sequence: 1) a feeling of shame, awkwardness; 2) an unsuccessful, not entirely tactful act. That is, in the first place - sensation, feeling. The more sensitive the nature, the stricter a person is with himself, the more situations he is at risk for. A person in the “what’s wrong?” category, noticing that things have become quiet after the joke, will take the opportunity to tell the next one. And he will be pleased. And man-oh! will be embarrassed, a feeling of awkwardness will flare up in him and he will be overcome.
How to deal with this feeling?
If possible, repay. Simple and fast. A clear “sorry” is enough in any such situation. Witnesses of awkwardness thank fate that this did not happen to them, and at this moment they are generous. “Oh, nothing! What nonsense! - these are their typical happy signals.
So, apologize. Simple, sincere. Short. “The Death of an Official” was written to warn us against an overexcited feeling of awkwardness.
There are situations when we find ourselves in an awkward position due to the mercy of third parties. Most often this happens at the junction of styles. Warm home with cool outside, for example. All these public grandmotherly concerns, marital tenderness, friendly jokes.
The peculiarity of these awkwardnesses is that, by extricating yourself from them, you can greatly offend this very third party. Without meaning to, of course. Just like it didn’t want you to be embarrassed - on the contrary! “Is it true that Mashenka has lost beautiful weight? But how worried I was!” Grandma beams, her classmates smile indulgently, Masha blushes. What should I do? No way. Just don't notice. Spare grandma. This will be the best way out.
Of course, awkward situations are caused by age. They do not occur in early childhood; maturity has immunity to them. Youth and youth are overwhelmed by awkwardness.
A long time ago there was an episode in my life. Unforgettable.
What's new with your students? - a romantic young cadet in love asks me, a young married teacher. I liked that he was rooting for me. I ask playfully and mockingly:
What's new with my nurturers?
Horror jumped into his face and froze.
And I guessed HOW he heard the word “Pestunov”. Horror!
“NESTRATION is, you know, not so easy...” I also said something else, small and small and quickly, trying to save myself in his eyes. And there I was a celestial being. And suddenly this!
Gradually he understood WHAT I said In fact, came to his senses, was ashamed of his misinterpretation, and was able to smile. But it was urgent to say goodbye in order to begin resuscitation of the relationship “poet and muse.”
Today, this verbal trap would give us, if not aesthetic, then cognitive pleasure, we would laugh for a long time and talk about it in our company - and there would be no awkwardness! Everything gets easier with age. But then!
And now it's time to stop, because it's coming "that awkward momentwhen you told too much personal information about yourself to a stranger” (c)…
We all studied for a long time in various educational institutions and found ourselves in thousands of awkward situations, but we learned to get out of them when we were already in adulthood.
But, one way or another, some people never learn how to properly get out of awkward situations.
So, it is really indecent to discuss personal topics loudly at a work meeting. Or it's not good to talk in public for hours at a party. Especially about your “quirky” hobby.
Luckily, etiquette expert and founder of Good Manners, Anna Musson, has some tips to help if you find yourself sitting next to a chatterbox on a 13-hour flight.
Here are eight awkward situations and ways out of them:
- 1.
You are visiting and have to talk to a person who has a deep interest in different breeds of snails
It's good if there is someone else around because you can include them in the conversation. Take a page from Bridget Jones's book, come up with an interesting anecdote that can connect the two people, or bring in another person. After this you can leave calmly.
If no one is there, say: “Maria, it was wonderful talking to you. I really enjoyed talking to you, but there are a lot of people here that I still need to talk to. I hope that you and I will meet again. Wish you all the best".
Don't pretend your phone is ringing. It's not sincere. Plus never say you're going to the bathroom. People shouldn't know this. Just say “sorry, I need to go away.”
- 2.
You are on public transport, and someone awkwardly wants to start a conversation
First, you should never completely reject people. Some people meet their spouses on planes or trains, so if you can, give the person a chance.
But if this acquaintance is uncomfortable for you, then here are some tips.
If you are on a train, apologize and say that this is your stop. Get off the train and go to another car.
On the bus, never get up or change seats. Instead, explain that you have work or something to do, and pull out your iPad or papers and start doing something. Don't flip through the magazine.
It's a similar situation on an airplane. If you can't move to another seat and are stuck next to the person you're talking to and really just want to watch a movie, be polite. Say “Have you seen this movie? I really want to watch it." Put on your headphones and enjoy the movie.
- 3.
You're in an elevator with someone strange
If you are riding in an elevator and have to talk to someone for a short time, nod politely to them rather than start arguing. Exit on your floor and say goodbye graciously.
- 4.
You're on a terrible date
If it's dinner, just get through the evening, but don't order dessert or coffee. If you're just meeting for a drink, don't leave after five minutes.
At the end of the date, say something like, “It was a great meeting. Thank you. Let's finish this evening. Don't say, "See you next time."
If your friends set you up, you can convey through them that you weren't a very good match. Don't be rude.
- 5.
Someone has something stuck in their teeth. Or my skirt rode up
Be careful, but say so. Try to catch their eye and make a certain gesture to make it clear that there is a problem. For example, if someone has broccoli stuck in their teeth, look at the person and point to your own teeth in the very place where they have the problem.
If this doesn't work, you need to approach the person and politely explain what's wrong. If they don't, they'll go through the rest of the day, and then they'll realize how many people they met during the day didn't tell them anything.
- 6.
You received a friend request on Facebook, but you have no idea who it is.
It's not just in the "real" world that you can get into awkward situations. Your social media page can also be a dangerous place to hang out if you don't know how to get out of a difficult situation.
If you receive friend requests from people you don't know, you can simply ignore them.
If someone you know superficially, like your best friend's ex, is trying to be your friend, ignore the requests.
Even if you receive repeated requests, continue to ignore them. Over time, they will understand that you don't want to communicate.
If someone on your page writes wall posts that you don't agree with, delete them. Don't start a conflict. This could end badly.
Lastly, you should never use Facebook to rant. Or suddenly you discover that the number of your “friends” has halved.
- 7.
Someone in the office smells bad
If leaving deodorant on their desk doesn't work, your best bet is to take the blame to help. When you are with people who smell bad, sniff the air towards your armpits and say, “Is that what I smell like? There’s definitely a smell of sweat in the air, I hope it’s not me.”
This will hopefully encourage everyone to check themselves, and you'll be one step closer to a good-smelling office.
- 8.
You forgot someone's name
Don't say the words "forgot" or "don't remember" as this has a negative connotation, admit how you know each other, "It's great to see you, soccer practice was fun, wasn't it?" Sorry, I just came out of an important meeting and your name just slipped my mind...”
Life is so unpredictable that perhaps no one can insure against funny or awkward situations. However, a much more important skill is the ability to get out of awkward situations rather than avoid them. And here are some practical tips on how to get out of any awkward situation with your head held high.
Firstly, a sense of humor. It is humor that is your weapon and shield in any awkward situation. With the help of humor and laughter, you will be able to beat any embarrassing situation in such a way as to get the maximum benefit from it. Being in an awkward position, within the situation itself, this sometimes seems completely impossible, however, everything is much simpler.
An example would be a typical situation: in front of everyone, you spilled an entire cup of coffee onto your white shirt. "Great! I never liked her anyway. I didn’t know how to get rid of it anymore” is a very effective phrase that will not only smooth out all the awkwardness of the situation, but will also raise your rating in the eyes of others as a positive, optimistic person.
Another very typical embarrassment: they decided to give a girl a seat on the transport because they decided that she was pregnant, but it turns out that she loves to eat. You can always refer to glasses forgotten at home, due to the absence of which you did not even notice the beauty’s slender figure. Naturally, the place will still have to be given up.
Secondly, a face-to-face meeting. This rule is perfect for any situation and, of course, for a successful way out of an awkward situation, it is simply irreplaceable. Under no circumstances should you try to run away from an awkward situation - it will catch up with you like a snowball and turn out to be even more painful.
It often happens that there is not enough money at the store checkout to pay. You shouldn't stage impromptu theatrical performances, but it's better to just say to the cashier: “Sorry, I think I got so carried away that I exceeded my cash limit. What a pity that I can’t buy all this today.” If you simply ask to leave those goods that you do not need so urgently, and pay for the rest, then the awkward situation will resolve itself.
Even more often it happens that we introduce ourselves and greet a complete stranger in a cheerful, familiar manner. Despite the desire to run away or fall through the ground, you should ask for forgiveness and admit that you made a mistake. And wishing a good day will not only defuse an awkward situation, but will also cheer up the stranger.
Thirdly, any experiences are meaningless. There are situations where neither jokes nor apologies can help. Why go far? — You sat down on a painted bench. There are no options - you'll have to get home in this striped look. Few people will care about you, believe me. And even if there are a couple of passers-by who start looking askance and grinning, you are seeing them for the first and last time. The situation is not worth an ounce of nerves at all, since you will never meet with any of those who like to laugh at other people’s embarrassments. Perhaps only in a similar situation, but in opposite roles. And then it’s up to you to decide whether to mock or treat with understanding and pretend that you didn’t pay attention.
Fourth, and most importantly, there is no such person who would never find himself in an awkward situation in his entire life. Even if you want to sink into the ground from shame, remember that this situation, like all similar ones, in the coming days, if not hours, will be erased from the memory of 99.9% of the witnesses of your “shame.” Chances are that your embarrassment will stick with you for some time. You should treat this with understanding, because not everyone has such a vibrant life as you, and people, as a rule, compensate for the lack of their own life with more and more new experiences of situations from other people’s lives. If the team does not have enough tact and common sense to forget, or at least not remind you of your embarrassment, it is worth thinking about the adequacy of its members and, if possible, replacing them.
So, you have received the four most effective keys that open the doors to get out of any awkward situation. Whether you should be afraid of embarrassment is up to you to decide. But it is a fact that life without awkward situations becomes insipid and dull.
Bright embarrassments and a positive attitude to you!
P.S.: Don't forget to share your embarrassing stories before others start sharing them.
