Who are the hunters in the pickup truck? Who is Alex Leslie

Relationship psychology expert and creator of the online educational project “Growth Phase” Yaroslav Samoilov spoke especially for readers Clutch about how to recognize a womanizer pick-up artist.

Pickup is a dating process whose goal is seduction. An experienced seducer or pick-up artist “catches” a girl on his “hook” and gets sex from her.

The history of the pickup truck began with a book “How to get the woman of your dreams into bed”. This was a kind of instruction for attracting the opposite sex.

Later this developed into an entire ideology. She dictated to a man a certain way of life, the meaning of which was the constant acquaintance and seduction of women.

In fact, for many men, the pickup technique is needed only in order to learn how to easily and naturally meet and communicate with the opposite sex.

Myths about pickup artists

Sometimes, for men, the pickup technique is the “easy take” method. But many people simply substitute concepts, mistakenly believing that a pickup artist is:

This is a young guy who is just “beginning” his relationships with women. He doesn’t have money yet, but he already wants sex from his classmate Lenka. He uses the most primitive tips “for dummies” on seduction. Myth.
A more mature, thirty-year-old man who simply feels sorry for spending money on courtship.
He is simply driven by “sports interest.” Of course, he seeks sex just like everyone else, but he is more interested in the process itself, the game that he skillfully plays with a woman.
He is too preoccupied with his sex life and is not at all interested in a serious relationship.
This is a nerd to whom no one simply “gives it.” This is also a myth. Often, pick-up artists are successful and beautiful “macho”.

In general, a pick-up artist is a man who is either unlucky in relationships or is deprived of female attention. But, there are times when he is simply bored and has fun in this way.

At the beginning, his task is to master pickup techniques. Then the goal becomes to get sex from you on the 3rd or 4th date.

If a woman refuses intimacy, the pick-up artist simply “merges” from the battlefield. But there are also those for whom it is fundamental to achieve and “break the impregnable fortress.” Again, purely for fun.

How to recognize a pick-up artist

The pickup artist always appears spectacularly and unexpectedly. He will make you experience sincere and warm emotions, try to charm you or make you laugh.

Unnoticed by yourself, you will enter into an easy and relaxed dialogue with him. You won’t even notice how he will win over you, winning your interest more and more.

Then he will show his help or care, and you will be sincerely grateful to him for the services provided.

What is his weapon?

In order not to get a portion of noodles from pick-up artists, you need to learn to accurately identify them. Here 4 models of pickup artist behavior.

He is a grateful listener. You can talk non-stop, and he will only occasionally ask questions.
Do you feel like he reads your thoughts? He will always tell you what you want and expect to hear.
His task is to amaze you with his “peculiarity”, to make you believe that he is the man of your dreams. Staring gazes and light touches “casually” are what he will use in your communication.
He will avoid expensive cafes and restaurants. Pick-up artists try to spend as little money as possible on courtship.

Who is his victim?

Most often this is a woman who has problems with low self-esteem. You can be successful and beautiful, but if you don’t love yourself, you risk being hooked by a seducer and...

How to protect yourself?

It is important to protect yourself in time, without becoming another exploited victim. If you recognize a pick-up artist in a man’s behavior, here’s what you need to do:

Don't express any emotions! Ignore his flirting and compliment! When he realizes that you are not being “led”, he will leave at the first opportunity.

Invite him to meet his mother. He will be surprised to receive a refusal in this form.
Don't tell him anything about yourself, and vice versa - bombard him with questions about him. Watch how he gets out of it.

Sad consequences

Psychological. Breaking out of complex and not very easy. If you chose him once, and you are still together, then you are firmly attached to him.

It will take time to come to your senses and regain your strength. Otherwise, you run the risk of turning your personality into a wrung-out and useless rag.

Material. A relationship with a pick-up artist can harm both your psychological and financial state.

Perhaps he will not take money from you, but he will force you to “work” for himself indirectly. Expensive gifts and services - everything that you give and provide to him will all add up to the common treasury of his achievements.

Social. He will do his best to create the appearance that he is trying very hard for you. His task is to instill in you a sense of debt, which you will constantly try to repay.

The pick-up artist's game is the resource of his life. He likes to hide behind women, using them for his own purposes. Don't try to change this man, it's his choice.

Who are they really?

These are ordinary men whose meaning of life is the game of temptation and seduction. It is unlikely that you will be able to change it, but it is in your hands to protect yourself from disappointment.

You should not believe their words and actions, if you are not interested in “”, of course. They skillfully create the illusion of “those” relationships, making you believe in a fairy tale. But, in the end, you will be left “at the bottom” with your tears and illusions.

Get rid of those who destroy your peace of mind and self-esteem. After all, you deserve the best!

Yaroslav Samoilov,

psychologist, relationship expert,

creator of the online educational project “Growth Phase”

specially for Clutch

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 10 minutes

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Every woman wants attention and compliments. Each one dreams of men wringing their necks, looking after her, and falling in piles at her feet. But for some, the art of “charming” is given to them from the cradle, while for others, they have to learn this all their lives. The “science” of seducing the opposite sex that has emerged in our time—pickup—was the prerogative of men exclusively. But this complex of seduction techniques and skills has become interesting to modern women. The only difference is that the task of a woman’s pickup, as a rule, is not one-time pleasure, but the search for true love and the desire to become attractive, self-confident and desirable. What are the basic rules of female pickup?

Why do girls do pickup? Goals

Male pick-up artists have simple and clear goals - to please a girl and get her into bed as quickly as possible. Girls goals more selective:

How to find it.
How to meet.
How to charm.
How to hold it.

And preferably - all at once. But, of course, that doesn't happen. Only chance can send you a prince on a white horse, who, upon seeing you, will tremble with anticipation and immediately offer his hand, his heart and a Swiss bank account. Therefore, first you need to understand how to get acquainted correctly and how to behave so that your gentleman does not run away from you five minutes after. This is what the female pickup truck teaches - how not to scare a man, how to impress etc.

Female pickup - dating rules

Basic rules of female pickup

Pickup task - provoking a man to take action . The result depends on the desire - a short date, a close acquaintance on a horizontal plane, or a serious relationship and starting a family. The “science” of pickup can be learned either independently or through special training. What are basic rules of female pickup?

Go out more often, expand your circle of acquaintances.
Have you set your sights on a handsome blue-eyed athlete? Don't look for it in the library. For an oligarch? You definitely won’t find him in the diner around the corner.
Always be ready to meet your dreams. An ideal appearance, excellent mood and a charming smile should be your constant companions.
Learn the basics of proper makeup, you should look stunning even when you run out to take out the trash - moderate but effective makeup, heels (stilettos), neckline, tight dress, well-groomed hands. Get used to following this rule even at home (when no one sees you). See.
Study male psychology. With this knowledge, it will be easier for you to predict the behavior of men and choose your one and only one among them.
Be nice, friendly and independent. Act as calm and relaxed as possible. Leave embarrassment and excitement for other situations, here - only composure and self-confidence.
Your speech should be smooth and calm. No “nerve” in the voice.
Don't get confused by words. Listen carefully as if this fishing story is the most amazing thing you have ever heard. Don't forget about subtle, "accidental" touches.
Don't talk about your problems(home-work-family) and your desires. A man should have a clear feeling that you are a successful, happy and completely satisfied person with life. And, of course, avoid questions about the number of your ex-men or marriages. It is unlikely that a man will be happy to learn that you are just looking for a candidate for your fourth marriage.
Don't forget to praise your man. Men are like children, they need to feel needed, loved and extraordinary. Just don’t overdo it - you shouldn’t praise your gentleman for a nice tie or clean shoes, you need to praise him for his actions.
Be modest. There is no need to put your feet on the table, sweep away dinner at a restaurant in a minute, put on a vulgar dress and demand a trip to the Seychelles. Modesty always decorates.
When communicating with a man, try as much as possible repeat his gestures, movements and manner of speech. This technique is one of the main ones in a pickup truck. Just don’t get carried away – it shouldn’t be obvious.
If you are invited to dance, You shouldn’t be too frank in your movements- that is, hang on the gentleman and press with your whole body. Even if your head is already spinning from his strong hands and close breathing, control yourself and wait until the “client matures.”
Manicure and makeup should be as natural and minimal as possible.. Avoid red varnish right away - it makes you nervous. Too long nails are also not an option. The only thing that will have a magical effect on a man is shiny lips.
Expand your circle of hobbies and discover new talents in yourself. Learn to play billiards, shoot, change tires, dance and cook.
Never be the first to admit your crush.
After meeting, do not be intrusive. It is he who should look for you, call you and make appointments. And you just condescendingly accept his advances.
Don't hang a kilogram of jewelry on yourself. It’s better to have one or two decorations, but spectacular and of high quality, than to look like a Christmas tree.
Don't go too far in your facial expressions and “erotic” movements. It is enough to straighten your hair, lick your lips and cross your legs. You should not wag your hips or swallow bananas.
Don't tell yourself and don't let a man tell dirty jokes.
Having met that same man, there is no need to continue the “pickup artist games”. A man should love you, not your seduction technique. You won't be able to keep him close to you for the rest of your life.

The ideal female pick-up artist is the one who...

Loves and respects himself.
Not aggressive, but proactive. Independent.
Relaxed and free in relationships.
He doesn’t carry around a suitcase of complexes.
Understands a man and accepts him for who he is.
Knows how to give pleasure.

Any woman is already a natural pick-up artist. In fact, she does not need to learn the science of seduction at all, because nature has already given her all the tools for this. All that remains is to use them competently and wisely. And most importantly - understand what exactly you are waiting for? Imagine that all the men are paying attention to you, salivating and dreaming of at least holding your hand. Are you sure you need this? Or do you still dream of meeting your future, one and only man?
Turning to trainings and plunging into the science of seduction, be sure to be aware that the level of male attention to you will increase. And decide for yourself whether you want it or not.

Do you want a successful hunt? Learn the rules of female pickup! © Shutterstock

The main goal of a female pickup is to get the object of passion and do whatever you want with him: make friends or seduce him, leave him or become his only one for life.

As you know, when hunting it is important not to scare off the prey with your appearance. But don’t forget: you are a huntress, not a hunter. First of all, female pickup is the art of seduction.

So be feminine: let your hair down. Smile, act as if you are Miss Universe of all times and peoples, that is, do not have complexes about shortcomings.

Show that you are a true lady, don’t swear, don’t say vulgarities, don’t drink “manly” drinks. And it’s better to replace your favorite whiskey with ice or vodka with cucumber with “Margarita”, “Cosmopolitan” or “Sex on the Beach”. On the eve of the weekend website I have prepared for you 5 rules of female pickup. Enjoy it for your health!

1. Sneakers or dress?

For a woman's pickup, clothes are important, because a man loves with his eyes. You understand: you can’t do without a dress, stockings, heels, and a small handbag. This is the kind of outfit that will help you attract the attention of the male half of the population. Forget about jeans and sneakers! Unless, of course, you're 16.

2. Less rubbish

I really want to wear earrings, a brooch, about 5 chains, a handbag with glitter, and boots with rhinestones. But remember, men don't like rubbish.

All sorts of feminine little things irritate me. You shouldn’t wear more than two bright things, otherwise the guy will take you for a flea marketer. Better pay attention to your hands - a perfect manicure will speak about your sophistication.

3. Shoot your eyes

If your outfit works and you find yourself the center of attention, quickly make eye contact and give your chosen one a modest but charming smile. If he's not paying attention to you, enter his field of vision, then, as if by chance, meet the guy's gaze.

Just don’t look too closely so as not to scare the man off with your pressure. Not all guys like girls who are too proactive. Instead of staring, it’s better to gracefully straighten your hair, twirl a curl on your finger, flutter your eyelashes and slowly cross your legs. If a guy is interested in you, this will be enough to encourage him to get to know you.

4. Show off your sexuality

Do you want to be truly sexy? Don't show everything off at once. Bare bust, legs and shoulders are not sexy, and maybe even vulgar.

To seduce a guy, it’s enough to make a beautiful accent on one thing. For example, a blouse with a bare shoulder or a skirt with a small slit, or a formal dress with a neckline - one detail is enough.

And don’t forget about different “sexy” movements and facial expressions. This doesn't mean you have to wag your hips and eat bananas all the time. An elegant cross-leg pose and straightening your hair are the most powerful female weapon.

When you catch a man's gaze on you, make a barely noticeable gesture - lower your palm to your thigh. A man will watch your hand, and this will push him to erotic fantasies. Or lick your lips beautifully, because the mouth is one of the most desirable objects of passion.

5. Be interested in a man

During a conversation, don’t just listen, but listen to every word the man says. Show that you are interested in him not just as a sex object or a potential husband, but as a person.

Even if you don’t know the difference between a carburetor and a battery, and the words “defender” and “attacker” mean nothing to you, don’t show your indifference to the subject of conversation. Try to understand what the man is telling you and keep the conversation going. And during communication, try to casually touch his shoulder or arm. This way the man will understand that you are not indifferent to him.

In addition, women have a more vivid imagination, and in terms of psychology, much is given to us by nature. For the most part, when picking up men, women act intuitively; for this we do not read special literature or attend pick-up artist courses.

In addition, it is psychologically very difficult for men to refuse a woman who actively demonstrates her interest. Of course, if a woman shows it correctly, namely, when she demonstrates interest in a man, and not in his finances or the object she wants to marry.

So, what goals can women pursue when picking up men:

1. Practical goal - obtaining material benefits or moving up the career ladder

There are many options even for this goal. From receiving short-term benefits and the subsequent dynamo, to the complete promotion of the victim. Men can say - this is prostitution after all. I dare to object. Firstly, many women, when promoting men, do not reach the bed stage at all. Secondly, who said that women don’t enjoy sex? In addition, they also receive benefits and moral satisfaction from having achieved the desired result. No one is selling anyone...

2. Strategic goal - to get married

What can we hide? Most women want to get married and not just get married, but get married very successfully. Gone are the days when Vasilisa the Beautiful, sitting at the window, waited for her prince. The women went out on the hunting trail. And in war, as in war, all means are good. What needs to be done to get married successfully?

Of course, there are countless techniques that can be cited here, but since we are talking about a pickup truck, then in this context, it is worth citing one important condition that leads to a successful marriage. Namely, the girl must be “in demand.” Winners in life, namely those who interest girls as a successful husband, are accustomed to struggle and conquest.

They don't want just any woman, they want the best. What are the criteria for the best girl? Yes, other men should dream about her. And the one who gets it will be the winner. A man, watching a girl flirt, is already anticipating the subsequent bliss, and does not even understand that he is needed only for the surroundings. The more fans, the higher her status, the steeper the bet, and therefore the more successful the marriage.

3. The insidious goal is to take revenge

In this case, there is no need to talk about the girl’s healthy psyche, but, nevertheless, the result of her actions can be no less dangerous for men than from the previous two. A woman offended by men may decide to take revenge, but the scale of this revenge may not be limited even by common sense.

She will hook you, fall in love, leave you, gloat, laugh in front of her friends, turn on her horns in front of her lover, take you away from the family and abandon you, and what else can a girl who is angry with men come up with. For your own safety, men, you should not bring the weaker sex to this state.

4. The real goal is a true pick-up artist

This pickup truck appeals to me the most. This is the pickup truck of a real hunter of men's hearts. It is impossible to master the science of this pickup truck. This should be in a woman’s soul. A woman with an active life position does not derive pleasure from material wealth, and does not look for a prince in order to obtain a stamp in her passport, she does not act for the sake of revenge.

Her goal is to enjoy the process itself. The pleasures of conquering men. Relationships for her are a holiday, a game, an intrigue, who will win... The goal of the hunter is to make a man feel that it is pleasant to be not only a “hunter”, but also a “prey”. She sets the rules - who is the victim today. At the same time, even playing the role of a victim, a woman reserves the psychological initiative.

A true pick-up artist may or may not love a man. But when playing, she always has fun, and brings this pleasure to the man. Even when it seems to him that the woman is inactive or is passing the baton to the man, all her moves have already been calculated in advance. She, like a virtuoso conductor, plays on the strings of male psychology.

Such women do not pick up weak, insecure men. For them, the game is interesting only against a strong opponent. After all, only a real male leader can appreciate a woman’s inner strength, her talent for weaving an intrigue that gives them both pleasure, both physical and emotional.

He knows that he will never become henpecked, he wants to be chosen, chosen by a strong and confident woman. There are no winners or losers in this game, because the prize goes to both. It can be either pleasant memories of an emotional sexual life, or it can result in a permanent union of strong personalities.