How to keep a lover: advice from a psychologist. How to keep a man: a universal instruction. How to keep a man of any zodiac sign Love at a distance

Relationships of lovers are sometimes more diverse and deeper than family relationships. It's all about female cunning and the ability to always be needed. Unfortunately, such relationships sometimes develop with strange men. To figure out how to keep a lover and skillfully manage his behavior, you should turn to experts.

You always need to remember the main thing - a man finds a mistress not in order to go to her, but only because of the exhaustion of his family life. Source: Flickr (Annie_Costello)

What is the reason for the decline of the relationship?

In any relationship, passion is tested by quarrels. In a conflict relationship with his wife, a man does not receive due attention and, starting another relationship, he expects sincerity and the ability to listen from his partner. If the second relationship does not allow him to feel satisfied, the man will not waste energy on such a mistress.

Important! Additional bonuses in a secret relationship should be new experiences in emotional and sexual terms.

Secret relationships for a man are a source of adrenaline, so their lack of variety will lead to indifference. If meetings with a mistress do not bring positive emotions, his feelings may soon cool down. At the same time, the lover does not require a certain seriousness in these relationships. Quite the contrary: he is looking for feelings as in his youth, when love turned his head and pushed him to stupidity.

Romance is another reason a man makes a new connection. Yes, it is romance and tenderness, no matter how hard they try to seem courageous. In a marriage where the wife constantly scolds and reproaches, not compensating for her attacks with care, the husband eventually gets tired of anger. He begins to look for that feminine affection that the romantic part of his character desires. And if the relationship with his mistress acquires the same emotional color as with his wife, the man will not tolerate double attacks.

Completely satisfy a man sexually. It is necessary to periodically make adjustments to your sex life so that a man does not lose his sense of excitement and innovation. This is one of the most effective ways to keep a married man.
Never refuse a man in sex, but within reasonable limits. This does not mean that you need to test your body for endurance, but only indulge its fantasies and desires. Especially those that the wife did not want to embody.
Do not show your lover that you can be tired or discouraged. He sees a woman in a dressing gown and curlers at home, and you should become an unforgettable and bright part of his life: always beautiful, active, ready for anything.
How to bind a lover? Charge it with new emotions. Men remember sex better in unusual places, but this can apply to absolutely everything. A test drive in a sports car or a joint parachute jump will imprint you forever in his memory.
Be worthy of the chosen man. Males by nature love to play and achieve. Only for all this they need a worthy woman who knows her own worth and makes her move mountains. It will not be superfluous to be a little sarcastic and turn on “I want”. The desire to satisfy women's whims (the more difficult, the better) has been in the blood of men for centuries.
Never discuss his family or insult his wife. The strong affection of a lover is always inferior to the bond of marriage. A wife in the eyes of men is almost a conqueror, if she could force her to legitimize the relationship. Therefore, they always treat their wives with respect (no matter how strange this respect sometimes looks).

Important! Men do not like gossips, so by discussing the shortcomings of his wife or friends, you will make a man think about your harmfulness.

You always need to remember the main thing - a man finds a mistress not in order to go to her, but only because of the exhaustion of his family life. At the same time, a man always tries to save his family. To bind a lover to yourself, you should fill his entire personal life with yourself.
Listen carefully and remember all the failures that the wife made. In the future, try never to repeat this in order to create in the eyes of a man a striking contrast between her and your behavior.
Try to tempt the man. Never let him know that you belong to him. Light flirting with a colleague will help warm up the lover's feelings and make him turn all his attention to you. In this case, the alarm about "property" is triggered, even if he himself threw the "toy" aside.
Become his sexual friend and gain his trust, then affection is guaranteed. Let him know that you are his haven of peace and relaxation, where he can relax in bed or in the kitchen with a glass of wine. You can not create the impression of carnal relations, change the locations and plots of your meetings.

Relationships with a lover are always very difficult for a woman. She must put maximum efforts to make this connection bright and unusual. Source: Flickr (Mary_Maya_Riva)

How to make a lover yearn or be jealous?

Manipulate a lover should be very careful. Women's cunning must not go beyond what is permitted, otherwise it may seem corrupt, frivolous or cold. You can not let a man forget that you are interested in him. Somewhere on a subconscious level, he must know that any actions of his mistress are just a response to his actions, and not his own whim.

A very common way of manipulation is changes in appearance. Women all over the world are trying to play on the feelings of men with changed haircuts, new dresses or tans. However, this is not so noticeable if he is not interested in a relationship. With a lover, the situation is different: he always remembers the appearance of his woman, and any change for the better is suspicious. Especially if they happen on the occasion of returning to work after a vacation, before the birthday of a close friend, and in any other situation where at least one man will be nearby.

How to make a lover bored? You can confuse a lover with a sudden change in the usual schedule. By canceling an appointment under an unspoken excuse, you will generate such a storm of reflection that you will immediately receive a dozen messages or an unexpected visit. At the same time, it is worth leaving some things to yourself, telling only a small part about the affairs, making room for intrigue.

Important! In the eyes of a man, you need to be mysterious, and not a “hanger”, which daily puts on his shoulders the burden of his life and problems.

In the process of manipulation, it is important not to overdo it with ignoring. This, of course, is a good way to make a lover bored, yearn and desire a meeting, but unattainable prey eventually tires and ceases to interest. You should determine how quickly your man loses interest in certain things and start from this time, warming up the intrigue with photos or messages.

And the most effective, but dangerous way is the usual flirting. This is the simplest answer to the question of how to make a lover jealous. There should always be a little flirting, with a slight touch of coquetry, so that in the event of an “explosion”, pretend to be incomprehensible or even offended. You can flirt when your lover knows you're seeing him, but such flirting quickly becomes a game of "who will make you jealous."

Relationships with a lover are always very difficult for a woman. She must put maximum efforts to make this connection bright and unusual. At the same time, one should not cherish high hopes for the departure of a man from the family. The main thing is to enjoy the time you spend together and try to satisfy all your needs.

The process of conquest

If the decision to seduce is already firmly made, then you need to clearly understand which women fall in love with:

First of all, those ladies who know how to give in, do not show selfishness, take into account not only their desires, but are also ready to seek a compromise, accept provisions, conditions that are beneficial for both parties, are valued.
No matter how they talk about a kind soul, external data play a much more serious role, because if you need to know: how to make a married man fall in love with you, then remember, first of all, be perfect from a manicure to an elastic, toned body.

There should always be intrigue, no need to whine, complain about life, if the boyfriend is married, then he has enough of such situations at home, be mysterious, bewitching, alluring, let him be proud of what he sees next to him.
The ability to listen is valued much more than the ability to chat beautifully for a long time, it is extremely important to be interested in business, while not burdening your problems with success, and, if possible, start fun, non-committal conversations that will help you plunge into a carefree atmosphere.
A variety of positions, sexual experiments will easily make you run after you. Psychology has proven more than once that spouses most often lack passion and adoration, so they go “to the left”.
The most common questions: how to keep a lover, how to make a lover look forward to a meeting, how to bind a former lover to yourself, how to make him happy - have an unusually banal answer - appreciate what the guy arranges for you, show your gratitude, do not get into his classes, do not advise anything extra. The main thing is not to offend your wife, because countless stories are connected with this man, offending her is the same as humiliating the pride of the chosen one. If there is a serious attraction, interest, then you should carefully think over the words, because one incorrect statement can provoke a quarrel.
The most favorable conditions are when lovers work together, the boss and the subordinate, so you can direct all your tenderness and care to doing things, warn about meetings, events, so that a person feels support and support. The partner will not remain in debt, there will be more time to evaluate not only the qualities as an employee, but also as an attractive, neat, sexy, well-groomed young lady.

Courageous, self-confident ladies are always appreciated, do not think that it is humiliating to be the first to invite you on a date, dance, meeting, show your interest and need for the object of your adoration.
Guys can only love the one who is ready to help, support, show her mind, character, sense of humor, kindness to others.
Do not lose vigilance, the husband who betrayed, the girlfriend of life will be able to betray you too! It is important to remain the standard of beauty, femininity, humanity.

You win!

Using tricks, of course, it is possible to fall in love with anyone, but you should understand that this is a huge responsibility, burden, and, possibly, suffering. It’s not a fact that he will agree to leave his family, there can be a lot of reasons. You will have to come to terms with the fact that your beloved will spend all the celebrations surrounded by family, you can’t be offended by this, scold.

It is necessary to become a part of the missing, to be a consolation, joy, and not just another capricious, spoiled girl. You will have to be patient, if possible, communicate nicely with the friends of your young man, because this factor (the opinion of comrades) is important.

TOwhat to do when you can’t imagine your life without a single man, and he has been married for a long time and firmly? Reflections on how to keep a married man and change the status to the status of a beloved wife is the topic of today's conversation.

It still happens in life real love, and sometimes she is able to play the most ridiculous games with people - a long search for her real half ends in success, but this half - someone else's husband. And, no matter what feelings bind you, he, in addition to your great love, has family obligations. And you only have Him, He is the only one, and at one fine moment you decide that only with him can you be happy. How to achieve the goal? How to keep a married man?

Is it necessary?

Sometimes it's enough just be patient and wait until the situation resolves itself. But it’s better not to deceive yourself and, for starters, answer yourself one unromantic question: Is your love mutual?

And if the answer is not entirely positive, then the topic “how to keep a married man” can be removed from the agenda. There are no prospects for such a relationship, and it is better if you yourself became the initiator of the separation. It's not easy, but men are rationalists, and practical considerations always weigh more on them than romantic feelings and sexual outbursts.

And no matter how strong his feelings for his mistress, long-term well-established family relationships and habitual way of life, as a rule, turn out to be stronger. Therefore, on the topic “how to keep a married man”, only one thing can be unequivocally answered: for this you need to be a very good mistress.

Yes, DO!!! Making references...

But if you decide not to back down and are seriously considering how to keep a married man near you, then from now on you should listen to all the stories of your beloved about his family affairs twice as carefully, and especially his complaints about his wife, and try do the exact opposite.

And yet, before making a final conclusion, make some inquiries, because the question of how to keep a married man is secondary to whether it is worth keeping him.

Try to see his wife up close and make sure that she is really so ugly and stupid, as your beloved says.
Specify the reason why, as he says, for a long time does not sleep with his wife if it's true.
offer him to take talking about his divorce with his wife on himself, if she allegedly refuses to do so to him.

But, most importantly, do not forget when he, leaving, once again sighs about how sorry it is to leave you, to please him with the news that you don’t need to leave, he is now yours - you negotiated with his wife, and she let him go for good. His reaction will give you the answer to many questions., including the topic “how to keep a married man” will disappear as unnecessary.

Pure feminine stuff...

But there are other approaches to solving the question “how to keep a married man?”. For example, the use of such a purely feminine technique, like getting pregnant- real, or fictional - a rather powerful tool, although risky in the sense of the possibility of becoming a single mother. After all is not a fact that for the sake of your unborn child, a man will leave his very real children who exist in his life, just like a real wife.

Some are completely desperate in search of an answer to the same question “how to keep a married man?” resort to very crazy methods related to with black magic and other similar methods. Of course, it happens that a love spell helps, and a man leaves the family for his mistress, but such things are not in vain, and the consequences are very unpleasant.

Think twice, friend!

So, the most reasonable thing would still be think again not about how to keep a married man, but about how Is there really true love between you, or is the feeling only yours?

think about it maybe you are just an "outlet" in his busy life? It is quite possible that your hard-working sandcastle under its ruins will someday hide you completely.

Why do many of us, dreaming of a magnificent wedding and family happiness from early childhood, end up becoming the mistresses of married men? Oddly enough, but for some women, such a fate seems to be predetermined by fate itself. Of course, they are not to blame for the fact that by the time of the meeting, the beloved man was already married. Sometimes potential mistresses do not know about it, and sometimes they do, but, completely captured by their feelings, they attach little importance to the fact of marriage. And without resistance, they accept the status of "the mistress of a married man", throwing themselves into the pool of love with their heads. They decide to live for today, and then come what may! And anything happens. After all, a man is married, which means he is not free, and he usually tries to build relationships with his mistress not to the detriment of his family. Not everyone can bear it. How to behave if you suddenly (or not suddenly) managed to become the mistress of a married man?

What does it mean to be the mistress of a married man

Why does a woman become a mistress? After all, the trap of an affair with a married man is very insidious. After a romantic period of relationship that completely sweeps aside any sober reasoning, a bitter epiphany comes: “I have nothing to dream about, because he has another.” And a burning, unbearably painful jealousy wakes up. It can not be in any other way. Yes, usually married men tell their mistresses that both physical and spiritual connection with their spouse has long been lost. But only the completely naive will believe that the beloved has no intimate relationship with his wife. And his legitimate missus has more rights to these intimate relationships.

There are holidays that a married man spends with his family. There are calls from his wife during your meetings and his slightly guilty and tender response: “Yes, dear, I will be soon!” There is a nervous glance at the clock, and finally, there is much, much more ... All this screams from all sides: “He is not yours! You are a constant lover, but not a wife! This fact becomes painful, and rare meetings no longer bring the satisfaction that was at the very beginning of the acquaintance. Inside, at first, it quietly matures, and then grows to a gigantic size, the question sweeping away all thoughts: “Will he get divorced or not? Is he in love or is he just playing with me?

One does not have to be seven spans in the forehead to foresee this development of events, risking becoming the mistress of an unfree man. We will not talk about temporary, one-night girlfriends - if these relationships bring suffering, then in exceptional cases. And they are not considered as promising at all. Why would a woman complicate her life so much, comforting herself with hopes and at the same time realizing that all this is nothing more than an illusion? And that the mistress of a married man can hardly be sure of a happy future with him?

Will a man go to his mistress

Do married men leave the family for mistresses? It happens. But rarely. And the point here is not that they do not have any feelings for women on the side. It happens that they experience, and even very strong ones. But even those in love with such a woman turn out to be weak if the issue of divorce from his wife is very acute. For many men, a change in life is tantamount to a natural disaster. And they do not seek to arrange it with their own hands. Therefore, in order for them to have the thought of marrying their mistress, the thought of divorce must first arise. A married man should be ready for divorce even before meeting another woman. Otherwise, the question “should I go to my mistress?” will stand before him far from immediately, and perhaps he will not stand up.

Why, after all, do women rush into the arms of a married man, if deep down they understand that the romance will be difficult, and often unpromising? The reasons are different.

Types of mistresses of a married man

There are several types of mistresses.

Mistress Masochist

This is a woman who is impressed by the position of the victim. In a relationship with a married man, she understands everything, accepts everything and agrees to everything. The masochist with sympathy, tenderness and love listens to the outpourings of a man about how unhappy he is in the family, perceiving him as a noble and strong person. This is the ideal mistress of a married man, who sincerely believes that her lover does not divorce his wife and tolerates “this mymra”, as she feels obliged to her children (parents, a sick wife, and so on).

She is convinced that you cannot build your happiness on someone else's misfortune, and she is not going to destroy someone else's family at all. A man with such a woman really likes to play nobility, and from time to time he leaves her so that she finally arranges her personal life. A devoted masochist suffers greatly during such periods, but does not even think about trying to create her own family. And when the beloved returns, she again accepts him, shining with happy eyes. These are very convenient types of mistresses, relationships with which men can continue for many years.

hysterical mistress

This woman loves thrills. Usually hysterics are bright, self-confident, independent, those who can arrange a personal life. If they want. But they don't want to. They are adventurous and cannot imagine their life without risky situations, therefore they choose married men as the object of passion, and they are able to constantly create these risky situations. The psychology of a lover is based on aggression, and she keeps her chosen one in suspense all the time, either flirting with someone in front of his eyes, or disappearing for several days, or calling his wife ... The fantasy of a hysterical lover has no limits, and she can do anything.

A romance with her is not for every man. Relations develop quickly, without delays and equivocations. She is incapable of maneuvers - she needs a victory at any cost, and she goes to her goal over her heads. Numbers with a sense of duty and obligations to children do not work here. And the married people should stay away from her, and run headlong, but it doesn’t work out! Attacks of aggression in a hysterical mistress are replaced by attacks of tenderness, and such a stick and carrot keeps a man cleaner than any waterfall of continuous caresses. But, since he stepped into a minefield, it means that he needed a surge of adrenaline. And a married woman will be drawn to such a woman until he is completely exhausted. When that moment comes, no one knows. The most paradoxical in the behavior of hysterical mistresses: if a married man suddenly wants to leave his family, they immediately break off contact with him. The object becomes uninteresting.

Lover - "eternal bride"

This is a woman with a refined nature, unable to pragmatically perceive the world around her. She is looking only for the prince, and discovers all his features in a strong, courageous, but, alas, married man who strenuously plays the role of the one who needs the "eternal bride". Often he does not play this role at all. Just in a relationship with a mistress, any man involuntarily becomes indulgent. Otherwise it can not be. After all, she is so trusting and naive, she reveres him so much that he feels with her nothing more than a noble knight! The “eternal bride”, looking at him, experiences serious delight: here he is, her prince! And at the same time, he does not think at all about the fact that he has a family. And, by and large, she doesn’t care, because next to her is such a reliable, experienced and exalted man!

The lover-"eternal bride" is looking for someone who would take responsibility for her future. She cannot and does not want to make any decisions, therefore, as a protective wall and support, a married knight also suits her. Her main rules of life are the desire to prevent destructive reality from entering her fragile inner world. She almost sincerely believes that since her beloved is nearby, it means that they have only a bright future ahead of them. He prefers not to think about his wife and children. And if one day this fact makes her change her behavior and thoughts, she is amazed, frightened and often begins to behave like a complete hysteric. He showers a man with reproaches, calls his wife, complains about her deceit to her friends, sobs and appeals for sympathy.

mistress mother

This woman is a real lover, next to which a man rests both in body and soul. Tired of solving endless everyday problems and tired of the demands of his wife, he finds peace in the house of his mistress-mother. No one climbs into his soul, no one forces him to earn money, take out the garbage, nail a nail ... Wrapped in care and affection, he seems to dissolve in the arms of his mistress, feeling completely safe.

The rules of the mistress-mother are based on the principle of "do no harm." She will not harass with questions about divorce, will not ask about where he was worn for so long, will not call his wife and will not reproach for anything. Hearty and delicious food, bed, give unforgettable sex ... Complete idyll: get a divorce, settle here forever! After all, at home, a grumpy wife in a washed-out bathrobe, serving store-bought dumplings, and children requiring regular attention. But no, no! He returns to his wife and children in order to fray his nerves in order, and then again he comes here to recover. Why?! Yes, everything is simple. After all, men understand that all this calm comfort can turn out to be a carefully built trap. And, if they finally fall into the tenacious paws of a mistress-mother, who knows what her care and attention will turn into then ... Perhaps the new family life will turn out to be much worse than the previous one. So, why take the risk and get a divorce, if it's so good?

Why do they become lovers

These are the most common types of women who, without much moral torment, associate with married men. There are still women who are dissatisfied with family life, women who only want sex, women who are hungry for money, etc. But we are not talking about them now. We are talking about those who are pushed into romance with married women by nothing more than a desire for love. All of them, deep down, cherish the hope of becoming the wife of their chosen one, and very often this does not come true.

The psychological background of these connections is different. A difficult object of desire is chosen by a woman, because subconsciously she strives to overcome obstacles. Overcoming is accompanied by internal tension, tension is removed by meeting with a loved one and appears in separation from them, then it is removed again, again pumped up, and so on. And often, in this case, the main role is played not even by the attitude of a man to his mistress, but by the very fact that this relationship is forbidden.

And if it's love

However, among the mistresses there are also women who have managed to seriously fall in love with a married man and really count on the fact that someday he will belong only to her. If she belongs to the category of masochistic mistresses, dreams can come true only when the legal wife herself leaves her husband. Hysterical mistresses practically cannot count on a successful outcome of a relationship. What man in his right mind would agree that his life will turn into hell? Even if he gets divorced, he will try to find a safe harbor for himself, and will not rush into the stormy sea! Do they marry mistresses - "eternal brides"? Only if love for a man is one of life's priorities. Which, admittedly, is rare. A mistress-mother has a good chance of becoming a legal wife if she proves that her devotion and care are sincere.

Conclusion: for an affair with a married man to end in marriage, you need to make a lot of effort. What? Here are some time-tested tips for lovers.

How to behave with a married man to minimize suffering and increase the likelihood of marriage with him?

If we try to combine the devotion and undemandingness of the masochistic mistress, the emotionality of the hysterical mistress, the naive romanticism of the "eternal bride" mistress and the reliability of the mother mistress, the chances of marriage with a married man will increase. This cocktail has a truly bewitching effect.
If we do not try to replace a man with a wife, his interest will grow and can turn into a very strong feeling. We don't do laundry, cook or clean in front of him. A man comes to his mistress's house to take a break from domestic problems. And he should be met by a beautiful loving woman who can give moments of happiness.
If we don’t start throwing tantrums when a loved one suddenly marked the meeting due to the fact that it was necessary to urgently resolve some family issues, we knew what we were doing. Therefore endurance, endurance and once again endurance! She will be an assistant in building a serious relationship.
If we don’t allow whining when a ringed friend doesn’t show up for an anniversary, birthday, some kind of holiday, or simply can’t be with us on the weekend. If he spends all weekends and holidays with his family, that's fine. The fact that the family (so far) has more rights to a loved one is a fact, and you need to come to terms with it.
If we do not get used to a man, considering him the only one in our lives. He will go to his wife. And if we admit the idea that this person is destiny, and cultivate it, as a result, the habit will make parting very difficult, and separation will aggravate the pangs of jealousy. We do not forget about ourselves, suffering alone, when there is no loved one. We find an interesting activity, meet friends and girlfriends, have fun in some companies and do not torment the phone by calling him for no reason.

Break the connection at the root

All these tips for mistresses do not guarantee that a man will divorce. But, in any case, he will not be scared away by the excessive obsession, hysteria and exactingness of a woman, meeting with whom should be a holiday. The most basic advice for single women is not to fall in love with married men! It is possible that they sincerely love their spouses, only feelings have dulled over time and no longer douse with the same heat. Often a married man does not realize this. But then, when the divorce becomes real, he suddenly feels unbearable mental pain, understands that his wife is more expensive, and chooses her. And the mistress, tormented by hopelessness and longing, again remains completely alone.

Mistress became a wife: what to expect

Be that as it may, the fate of a mistress is unenviable. Even if as a result she turned into a wife, you can’t get away from the man’s past. It happens, of course, that it remains in the past and is forgotten. However, this rarely happens. Usually the connection with the former family does not stop, especially if there are children. The woman who caused the divorce needs to be prepared for the fact that her beloved will spend time with them, call up, help. And to the fact that the former wife will not leave him alone. She will ask for help, be interested in the affairs of the ex-husband, sarcastic about his new family, and so on. And if she is also unprincipled, she will start pouring dirt. I must say that many will sympathize with her. And you have to be patient, wise, understanding. Is there enough strength for this?

Find your man

So, perhaps it is better to find someone who is free and create your own world with him, devoid of interference? After all, no matter what the statistics say, there are enough bachelors around. You have to look at them and open your heart. Then everything will happen by itself. If you get rid of the thought that it is impossible to find a man now (they say that all normal people are busy, and, in general, they are a rarity), he will definitely be found. Albeit with flaws, but a good husband needs to be sculpted. It doesn't fall from the sky. After all, the family lover before his marriage was different. It is likely that if the wife had not tried, we would not have paid attention to him, who knows ... Yes, the heart chooses itself. If he is allowed. And if you impose a taboo on family men for yourself, the heart will obey. And it will reach out to someone who is meant only for us.

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