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Love for a married man is a source of pain and joy. Hope for happiness, pain from parting, the joy of meeting - always bright feelings, emotional swings.

Love for a married man is often accompanied by many questions. Will he leave the family? If he leaves, when? If he doesn't leave, does that mean he doesn't love you? How to part with him if I love him?

When a woman decides whether to wait for a married man or not, love is often the main argument: "I love him" or "he loves me." I do not at all deny the fact that it is love that is the driving force of those who leave the family for their beloved woman. But if you know for sure that he loves, but for some reason does not leave the family, then love for a married man should be taken out of the equation and stop taking it as an argument, because in the end it does not affect anything.

There are many myths about love, including the notion that one loves only once, that if you experience strong feelings, it means that you cannot leave this person because you will die of grief, etc. One can only regret that misconceptions about are responsible for the fact that people suffer for years.

Often a woman thinks: "I will wait because I love him." Yes, you love him, but he may never leave the family, are you ready for this now? You live in hope that he will leave, but what if this does not happen? Yes, it happens that a woman agrees to be there all her life, knowing for sure that a man will not leave. But not everyone is ready for it. If you understand that you are not ready to stay with him under such conditions, then, in fact, love is not an argument for you.

Love is not given to us only once, we can love other people, for example, a free man who decides that he wants to be only with you. Yes, it will be someone else, and to think that this could happen is very sad and painful. Breaking up is a small death, it's true. But the death of love can definitely be experienced. If you think that you will never meet a better man, this indicates low self-esteem. It is better to spend efforts on making it more adequate than to suffer and suffer for a number of years.

What about the “he loves me” argument? In a situation of doubt, women often think that the decisive factor is whether a man loves them. When they doubt that he will leave the family, they begin to think that he does not love them. Then they try to find out if he loves them, get convincing confirmation and calm down for a while.

But wait: what is the connection between love and leaving a family? Only our belief “who loves wants to be near the woman he loves” somehow connects these two things, nothing more. Lots of married men love someone on the side but don't leave. Maybe they don't really love? Or maybe they love, but the feelings they experience simply have nothing to do with the decision they make?

Maybe other factors influence their decision: the relationship with their wife, the support and care that she gives them; material values ​​to be shared; children who find out that dad did bad things and doesn't love mom; reaction of relatives, relatives and friends; fear that a new relationship will not work out, and he will be left with nothing? And all of the above does not negate the fact that he loves you madly, cannot imagine life without you and really wants to be with you. But... not yet.

And if we add here the question, does he love his wife? How can he love her when he loves you? Or does he not really love you, but loves her? You can't love two people at the same time, can you?

Sometimes it’s just that the roof goes from this discrepancy: does he love me so much or not? If he loves, then why does he do this to me? Lost confidence in a loved one, in his words and declarations of love. You can relieve yourself of at least this part of the suffering by accepting the fact that he loves you, but love does not have to lead to some kind of action. You can love and do nothing to be together.

Mistress of a married man: what to do when you love a ringed man

In we examined the options, because of which a woman agrees to the role of a married man's mistress. We will not judge and establish a love triangle: husband, wife, mistress - is it good or bad. Today we will consider the situation when a young lady has an insight, what is her real being. When the favorite of a married man begins to suffer from questions: “What awaits me tomorrow?”, “What to do now, so that later it would not be excruciatingly painful?”, “What to do: break off relations with a beloved, but married man, or leave everything as it is and suffer?".
In a situation where we are incinerated by love for a married man, there can be no universal and only correct solution. The actions taken by women who have the status of a mistress are varied and contradictory. The main condition, whatever the decision, is that we must be morally calm and comfortable.

And I love a married man: what should I do?
Consider the options for how to get out of the labyrinth of love for a married man, weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each project, so as not to flog a fever, but act like a Chekist, with a cold head and a warm heart.

Act 1
The main task in order to make the right decision: to bring the ringed guy to clean water. To understand what leads a married man and forces him to seek solace in love on the side. There are a lot of reasons for making a mistress, however, the most likely circumstances are:

the desire of a fifty-year-old uncle to feel like a young, loving "give";

the desire to catch up on the intimate front, again at such a "demonic" age;

malfunctions and tediousness in bed relations between a married man and his wife;

a banal paradox in the form of a wife who is bored to hell, transformed from a beautiful princess into a disgusting frog;

brought to the handle by disagreements with the eternally grumbling and hissing, like a snake, wife;

a significant gap in social status, intellectual level, moral values ​​between a respectable man and his narrow-minded legalist;

manifestations of the psychological structure and character of a married guy in the form of indomitable lust and irresistible drag behind every skirt;

uncontrollable thirst for new sensations;

sincere desire of a married man to change his life;

real passion and love for your favorite.

Of the ten points listed, only the presence of the last two in a love triangle can become a happy gift of fate - the subsequent divorce of a ringed guy.
How can we unearth the whole truth? Let go of illusions and take a close look at what swamp we are in. Is our lover ready to get out of the quagmire or is he behaving like a devil in a swamp? However, playing the role of James Bond and spying on a married man is not at all an adornment of a self-respecting lady, even a mistress.

The easiest way is to ask a question about his plans directly in the eyes and evaluate the reaction of the married man. Or carefully observe a married man, because everything secret, sooner or later, becomes clear.

Act 2
We examine our moral state impartially. We explore which experiences we have more: positive or corrosive. Symptoms that indicate that it is time for us to take our feet in our hands and run away from a married man are incessant anxious sensations. For example:

thoughts about the legitimate second half of our chosen one do not cease in our head;

we sincerely feel sorry for the other woman;

we constantly put ourselves in the place of the “abandoned” spouse;

we feel remorse, we are ashamed;

we feel like nothings that destroy the family;

images of the offspring of a married man flicker before my eyes;

we have ideas to go to church and confess.

If such thoughts turn into obsessions, then it is unlikely that further communication with a married man as a mistress will inspire and delight us.

The ideas of one's own guilt that strengthen in the subconscious mind are a direct path to depression and more dangerous pathological conditions. In order not to introduce yourself into deplorable melancholy, it is better to stop once and for all an unpromising relationship with a married man.

Act 3
If such worms do not corrode the soul, then the next step is to get rid of illusions. Accept the situation as it is now. Not trying to live in a future in which a married man leaves his family and becomes engaged in the bonds of Hymen to his current mistress.
Remember, if a ringed guy has been assuring us for six months that we are the best and only beloved, but at the same time he is in a hurry for a family dinner at exactly 7 o'clock, then he is unlikely to appreciate us as much as he says. If a married man at every meeting claims that tomorrow he will file for divorce, and this tomorrow has not come for six months, then he will never take such a step. A man lured by another person will never destroy his marriage when he claims that he will leave the family as soon as:

son will go to college;

daughter will get married;

he will pay off the loan for housing;

the wife will recover from an incurable disease;

he will get a promotion.

We are guided by the rule: it is better to know the bitter truth than to wallow in lies and hope for a chimerical miracle. Therefore, we do not think about the future, but begin to live in the present day.

Act 4
What to do when you love a married man and want him to be around more often? Stop competing with his wife and imitate this young lady, but remain yourself. Do not pressure, do not pursue, do not bully the guy. Do not act like a wife does: over-grooming, blowing off dust, demanding a financial report, finding out where he was. After all, in most cases, married people run away from this. Married men slip away from the family so as not to feel like a hunted animal who constantly owes something. They make mistresses in order to feel: he is free, desired and loved.

What to do to bind a married man? To remain that mysterious woman, with a unique and charming personality, with whom he began to have an affair.

Act 5
What to do if there are no ideas in the head at all, what to do, but some kind of uncertainty of desires gnaws? Loosen the iron grip and switch your gaze to some other male for a while. Look around. Surely males are scurrying around, even if not as “ideal” as the beloved married man.

It is not at all necessary to throw yourself headlong into a lyamour, but you can start a friendly relationship with a former classmate, colleague, neighbor or childhood friend. New contacts with optimistic people and a pleasant pastime will tear you out of the world of heart suffering and allow you to look at what is happening with a fresh look.

Act 6
What to do when your brains are filled with worries due to the hung state of your mistress? Psychologists advise clearing your mind from savoring the state of ambiguity with new beginnings and labor exploits. Troubles and uncertainty on the personal front often give a rapid impetus to building a career, developing creative talents, and creating global innovative projects.

If our spiritual crying for a married man haunts us and deprives us of strength, at the first stage we must act, despite our “I can’t” and in spite of everything. We need to overcome our unwillingness, actively and resolutely engage in self-development and self-education. But having moved to a higher stage of development, we will definitely have fresh ideas of what to do with our feelings for a married man.

Act 7
If we are already mired in the intrigues of heart affairs, the logical way out is to use the relationship with a married man to our advantage. No matter how wild and terrible the call to use a married man for your own benefit may seem, there is nothing unusual and unnatural here. In fact, all of humanity uses one another. And our ringed chosen one also exploits us for some of his own purposes. Yes, and most of us, entering into a relationship with a married man, had certain selfish beliefs. It’s just that it’s not customary to speak frankly about this topic, but it’s more convenient to mask and hush it up.
Using a married man does not at all mean holding him by an inexhaustible bag of money, where, if necessary, you can stick your paw and pull out a larger bill. Although for some young ladies, communication with an unfree gentleman directly implies receiving a material fee for their services as a mistress.

We can use the betrothed master in different ways:

optimize self-esteem through endless compliments;

feel like a true divine woman because of regular signs of attention;

allow yourself to be different every day;

improve your mood through a fantastic variety of pastimes;

to discover amazing natural beauties and overseas countries in the “business trips” of a married man;

improve your intellectual level by attending business seminars, exhibitions, trainings organized by a lover;

to develop our creative potential thanks to the disinterested investment of a partner in our talents;

try yourself in the role of a hospitable hostess of the salon, where our companion strives to drag his friends;

become a successful entrepreneur thanks to the sensitive guidance of our financial tycoon;

to improve his health due to his rest in a sanatorium;

to be in perfect physical shape due to the addiction of a married man to run in the morning, swim in the pool and visit saunas.

In principle, using a married man means getting what makes us feel needed, desired, loved by a woman.

Instead of an afterword
On the Internet, among the tips on what to do if you love a married man, parting words are hyped: to fight for your beloved guy. To humbly agree with the recommendation to go on the warpath is tantamount to humiliating one's human dignity.
If love is a genuine mutual and deep feeling, it must be protected, nurtured, cherished. If the connection between a married man and a mistress is based on some selfish motives, is based on the fears of one of the partners, or is a way of spending time, the logical question is: what to fight for? For a hustler who is looking for an option where it is more convenient and profitable? For a worn jacket, always looking for a new skirt? For an aging macho, worried about the fading of his manhood? Such options are not at all worth the effort required to fight.

Or does fighting for love, in the understanding of Internet advisers, mean entering into an unequal battle with your inferiority complex or pathological fears? That is, to fight with your feelings and emotions, as with sworn external enemies? However, to fight with manifestations of one's psyche is useless and harmful.
It is necessary to accept your individuality, transform your destructive thinking into a positive and useful model, develop your personality. Having studied and transformed your internal barriers to happiness and harmony, the question of what to do when you love a married man will disappear by itself.

The only true advice is to love your uniqueness and not allow anyone to deprive you of your inner integrity and spiritual harmony.

Read the first part:

An affair with a married man in most cases is futile. Despite the feminist trend of recent years, any woman wants to be the only one for her beloved man, to have a stable relationship, her family and a caring father of children. Having made a mistake and entered into a relationship with a married man, sooner or later, a woman wants to complete this romance and meet her man. But often, even after breaking this connection, getting rid of love is not so easy. Lawless Heart. No matter how the brain tells him that he needs to stop beating more often with the name of his former lover, it still begins to pound at a frantic pace and causes unbearable pain.

The best way out of this situation is to contact a psychologist. Depression does not heal on its own. An experienced specialist will help you understand your thoughts and feelings, understand why the pain does not go away, and after a certain number of sessions you will be able to release your feelings and open your heart to a new life.

In parallel with psychological work, you can help yourself in other ways. For example, change your image: try a new hair color, buy a beautiful dress, shoes, and be sure to go out somewhere in a transformed form. Faithful friends will not leave you in difficult times and will keep you company.

You can write a list of negative qualities of a former lover, as well as all the sorrows that he brought. Most likely, the list will turn out to be rather big and will clearly show that this person is far from ideal, moreover, cunning and prone to treason. Why is he needed then?

Is it better to remember what life was like before his appearance? What woman herself was before meeting him? Cheerful, open to everything new. Don't you want to return to that time, to become the same again?

Dancing classes are very helpful in getting rid of negative feelings and bad thoughts. Better yet, sign up for a sport. And suddenly there you will be able to meet your fate, and even an athlete. Just don't rush things. For the next relationship to be harmonious, you need to completely get rid of the previous ones from the heart.

Show respect for yourself, do not allow yourself to be humiliated by a dismissive attitude. Any woman deserves more than being a mistress. There are many free and worthy men around. It's worth taking a look. You can't be a toy for another person. Freed from the old ties, feel free. It's an amazing feeling! Now you are in control of your own destiny. Do not try to quickly find a new love in order to forget the old one. Love yourself first, be a little selfish, living for your own pleasure, only in your own interests.

A bright woman, with a bright look, a slight smile will never go unnoticed. When you can remember your past without pain, a new feeling will enter your life. Remember this. Don't hide from him.

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Love addiction in itself is a very unpleasant condition, and if such strong feelings are intended for a married man, this is a problem that must be dealt with. How to overcome love addiction to a married man once and for all? A woman in love is often in captivity of her own illusions. In this state, she tends to justify her position and the man she loves. But it is worth looking at the situation soberly, understanding and accepting it. The likelihood that the object of irresistible attraction will leave the family for the sake of a mistress is very small. Most often, intrigues on the side end in tears and a broken heart in a loser-lover. The best way to deal with emotions is to refocus your attention. You can focus on work, active leisure, travel or hobbies. The more radical changes in life, the better they distract from love thoughts. Do not limit your social circle. The more interesting people around, the easier it is to stop thinking about who you are trying to throw out of your heart and thoughts. Chatting with friends is also a great way to switch attention. New romance In order to get rid of the love attraction to a married man once and for all, you need to start a new romance. Fresh emotions, feelings that communication with another man will give will help get rid of love addiction to a married lover. turn on head If all of the above methods do not help to get out of the head a man who needs to be forgotten, you should "turn on your head." Love is a feeling that rarely intersects with rational arguments, more often confronting them. The head says that this relationship is a mistake, but the heart does not stop in favor of passion and emotions. In order for the head to finally triumph over the heart, it is necessary to take a sober look at the situation by connecting logic. To do this, you can honestly answer yourself a number of questions, for example, what is more, pleasure or heartache, brought a connection with a married gentleman. You can also make a list of the pros and cons of continuing such a relationship. When compiling a list, it is necessary to look at relationships not only through the prism of current time and momentary sensations, but also at the prospect of what such a connection may lead to in the future. Love yourself more Many problems in women's personal lives come from their insecurity or rejection of themselves as they are. Hence the fear of being left alone, abandoning unsuccessful relationships. A woman who truly loves and respects herself will not allow a situation in which she becomes a victim of her own emotions. If you love yourself more than any man, the probability of falling into the trap of love addiction is practically excluded. You need to value yourself and repeat like a mantra the phrase that you deserve more and better. Hello Ludmila. I will send you one article here, it will help answer some of your questions, including the answer to the question about the opinion of a psychologist. About lovers and mistresses, or eternal volunteers of the love front. How many times have they told the world that it is not necessary to get involved with married people. It's like an unwritten law. Or an unspoken one. But, I so want to believe that this law is not for everyone and you can become an exception. Yes, and there is no document where some rules on this topic and "penalties" would be spelled out. And since it is not written down anywhere, then it is possible. You can love a married man. Or if you really want to, you can. And after, as they say, at least a “flood”. Wives treat their mistresses with some contempt and arrogance. Mistresses want to become wives. They want to take someone else's place. And they don't want to look for their own. With girlfriends, mistresses are talking something like “He, of course, does not love her. And they haven't had sex for a hundred years. But, you know, I can't destroy someone else's family." When I hear something like that, it just spins on my tongue, to add for my mistress, “And I would like to…”. But I understand that we are talking about different things. She is talking about her "nobility" and "generosity" to this unfortunate woman, whom her "husband does not love." And about the fact that she sincerely believes that she is better and she has such great power in her hands to destroy someone's family. And I, from “my belfry” of a psychologist, am touched and sarcastic a little over this sweet illusion of a mistress that she can do anything if she wants to. Only while here for some reason does not want to. Okay, sarcasm aside. Let's be serious and mature. So these conversations of lovers are classics of the genre. Almost all mistresses say and think so. This is a template. This stereotype. This is some external image. Fantik. There is also stuffing. Put the wrapper aside for now In fairness, it must be said that mistresses really are great smart-beauties. And they do a lot of things for someone else's husband. They try. Are invested. Selflessness is shown. And patience. On weekends and holidays, they somehow get out. And they still remain faithful. In general, almost like wives and even "better" than they are. Informally. But in fact, it’s still like that in mistresses for years and go. Because such a role as a mistress was not created in order to “marry her”, but in order to strengthen, fasten and cement. In Soviet times, there was still such a vulgar saying among the people: “a good leftist strengthens marriage.” It is so indeed. In this saying, only there was no addition that families have different strengtheners. Some families lack positive reinforcements, such as having another child, or a common cause, shared property, friends, traveling together, and so on. Then the mistress, as a strengthener of marriage, will come down. Or what a long-standing resentment between the spouses is. So they might have been divorced a long time ago. And the family had a mistress. Yes, yes, I did not make a reservation. That's right, the family. And you can continue to live. And don't get divorced. And everyone is fine. By the way, at first glance, deceived wives really act as victims, but their contribution to the appearance of a third in a pair is the same as that of men. But not about wives this time. In short, I consider mistresses to be holy women. Altruists, which are few and still need to be looked for in our time. Arguments? A lot of them. But I won't bother you. I will name just two. First. In most cases, when there is a mistress, it is great to support the functioning of the family. Some families simply do not have enough energy. A mistress is like an additional power plant, with a power source. In many families, as long as there is a mistress, second and third children are born, and houses are built, and cars regularly change from the wife-husband and other blessings pour from the sky. At the same time, there may be stormy scenes of jealousy, facts of betrayal may be revealed, a traitor may seem to be walking back and forth, but everything that concerns the material, it is quite clear, as a rule, remains in one place. In family. Second. According to karmic laws, the mistress takes upon herself all the gynecological diseases of the wife's kind. It's like it's taking over. Probably not by choice. But that's how it works out in the end. And what about the wife, she has money, and children, and health. And after that, who will turn his tongue to scold his mistresses? They are just Miss Unselfishness, maybe they themselves, without understanding a lot. Therefore, I will join the stereotyped conversation: “Well, I can’t destroy someone else’s family.” Of course, you cannot, since your function, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, is creative. But, unfortunately, not for myself. This place makes me very sad. Evgenia Kislitsyna, psychologist in Almaty Good answer 6 bad answer 0 Similar posts Games on paper with a pen for two for children Game library: old "mill Pictures" (Codenames: Pictures)