Usually they write about how their girlfriends betrayed them, but my story is different. This is a story about how I betrayed my best friend, about how I made the worst mistake and now I really regret it.

I met Nastya in the 6th grade, as soon as I moved to another school. For me, she was (and still is) the most adequate of my classmates. I miraculously found a kindred spirit. We quickly became friends with Nastya: we walked in parks, rode on a swing, read library books. We never got bored together, and did not quarrel at all.

So two years flew by. In the 8th grade, a new girl, Lena, came to us. Nastya wanted to make friends with her, because neither Nastya nor I had friends, except for each other. And to be honest, I like the new one too. She was not like other classmates - she had new gadgets, pretty makeup, she had a boyfriend. Lena agreed to be friends with us. I was happy that there were three of us.

And so it ended academic year. In August, the friends finally returned from the camps and from the seas. Lena offered to walk with her. When I said that I would call Nastya, Lena said that she did not like her and that she would not go for a walk then. Lena and I often began to walk together, having fun almost under the windows of Nastya's house. I realized that it was impossible, and began to come to visit Nastya. In those days, I felt better with Nastya than with Lena. But I thought that we should be friends with the cool Lena. How wrong I was!

In the ninth grade, I started to be friends with Lena more. She often spoke badly at Nastya's account, and I nodded and looked fascinated at Lena's brand new iPhone. But I was friends with Nastya, although the connection with her became thinner, my friend felt it. Later, Lena got a tablet, and at the same time she began to smoke the site and constantly swear.

Choose! she told me. “Either your mop or me!”

Of course, I chose Lena, who was also prettier than Nastya. Both she and I quarreled with Nastya. I remember that in the end, a friend warned me that the main thing is the soul, not appearance.

Lena started skipping classes. I also did not lag behind the "girlfriend". She began to lag behind in her studies, parents began to call from the school, they called to the director. Relations with them became difficult. Mom never liked Lena, she liked Nastya.

Lena constantly showed off her things, and especially her new bracelet and tablet. I started working after school so that I could also buy things that were just as good. I bought a tablet in a couple of months, I didn’t have enough money for jewelry.

Meanwhile, Lena had already changed a bunch of guys, broke her tablet and bought a new one, asked for a loan of money to pay off some debts. We quarreled very often, not like with Nastya.

In April of this year, I was not going to work, because I had already bought what I wanted, but after thinking everything over, I decided to work, the site was not yet sure how this decision would change my life. My job has always been to mop the floors in the building, or pick up trash around the area. In April, I got a partner. She used to be friends with Lena, they quarreled recently. She asked me how to communicate with her at all. A colleague seemed to open my eyes to the fact that this is not friendship. And I grew up in just one month. And immediately broke off friendship with Lena.

I looked at Nastya a month ago. God, she was shy, and now she is completely withdrawn into herself! I don't even remember her voice, I don't remember the last time I spoke to her. She believed me, did not think that I would betray her!

She has no friends. Absolutely no one. What have I done? I left myself loved one who will never betray. I realized that I wanted to be friends with Nastya again, to pick her up in front of the school, to visit, to have fun, to take pictures, to communicate. It was a joy for me to go to school because my best friend is there. With Lena, the site I did not feel this.

Now I have a tablet and a player in front of me, on which I spent a lot of money. Now I don't need these things. This is my mistake, made on the advice of a false friend. As in the case of Nastya.

There are two weeks left, and I may not see my best friend after school. This became a lesson for me. A lesson that I will learn well for the rest of my life.

I really want Nastya back. I can't seem to find a soul mate like this.

Is there anything more offensive than betraying a friend? Girlfriends may act unimportant for a number of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with you. She may be jealous of you, secretly annoyed by you, or suffering from low self-esteem.

It is not necessary to find out the cause of betrayal in order to deal with it. Here are some tips on how to get over the betrayal of a friend and restore balance to your life.

Clarify what kind of betrayal you're dealing with

What one would call betrayal, another would perceive differently. Find out if your friend's actions were really a betrayal and give yourself some time to reflect. When you finally respond, let it be from a position of forgiveness and strength.

Learn to forgive even if you end a friendship

The first step to leaving a friendship behind is forgiveness, especially when you don't feel like forgiving. Make the decision to forgive, all the emotions that come with it, and over time your feelings will transform. But the first thing to do is to decide to forgive.

If you're having trouble with forgiveness, try the following exercise. Imagine your heart as a container for all your emotions. Visualize the anger and resentment you feel at your girlfriend's betrayal, and visualize them taking up space in your heart. Now visualize a happy thought/image, such as meeting a new girlfriend or feeling in love.

Imagine these happy thoughts and images trying to fill the space in your heart. Watch how they lack space because of the anger and resentment that remained in the heart from the betrayal of a friend.

While this visualization exercise may seem like a primitive look at forgiveness, it can help you realize that the pain and negativity of your girlfriend's betrayal shouldn't linger in your heart, coloring the present moment, or getting in the way of positive emotions altogether.

If you continue to hold on to resentment, you are limiting your ability to experience the good things in your life. Make a conscious decision to let go of any residual feelings of resentment until thoughts of your girlfriend's action are out of your focus.

Do you continue your friendship? Do not hurry

While it is commendable to be able to sincerely tell a friend that you forgave right away, the reality is that it may take some time before you can consciously return to the friendship that you had before. Moreover, the chances are that your friendship will never be the same again.

This does not mean that you will no longer have any friendship, but you will have to give your emotions time to mature so that you can return to your previous relationship. Just because you forgave her doesn't mean your friend has regained your trust. While you shouldn't bring her betrayal up to the surface over and over again, you should be careful not to say you "figured yourself out" before you have.

Friendship can become stronger after betrayal, but this will not happen overnight. A friend may sincerely want things to go back to the way things were between you, but you should let your friend know that this process will be slow and you will not be in a hurry. Meet a friend and plan a joint leisure time, but “monitor” your feelings. The way you spend time together is likely to be different than before.

For example, you may be more comfortable if:

You be together in some company.
You will limit your joint leisure time (short dinner, coffee meeting and no more, etc.).
You will agree on some restrictions on topics of conversation if they are involved in betrayal. For example, if a friend slept with your ex, avoid the topic for a while. If she's been gossiping behind your back, be careful not to discuss other friends with her unless you're sure you should.

If it hurts you to have to take such action, that's how it should be! Surviving the betrayal of a friend is not easy, but there is nothing impossible in this. It is possible that you will have to explain to your friend what you need in order for there to be trust between you again.

For example, you might prefer that your friend stop calling you for a while for mindless chatter because you don't care about the little things in her life. Or maybe it's better if you go to have dinner with her at a cafe instead of meeting at your place or hers, because the cafe seems more neutral and safe for you. Say what you need in a gentle manner. Although your girlfriend betrayed you, your emotional background will always be better if you behave with dignity and not be fooled by pettiness or the desire to clarify in her address.

If you break up, do it without regret

Ending a friendship is always difficult, even with someone who has done bad things to you. You will most likely feel guilty about the end of the relationship, which is why you should make sure that you really want this before officially breaking up with your girlfriend. But once you do, don't berate yourself afterwards for your decision.

It's hard to understand why some people we care about treat us badly, but don't screw yourself up. Bad behavior is something your friend has to deal with, not you. Give your emotions time to settle after the end of a friendship, and then go meet someone else.

The best way to get over a betrayed friend is to spend time with friends who treat you well or meet a couple of new ones. Add to this, and betrayal will be left behind, as well as any residual emotions that may hide somewhere deep inside you.

How do friends betray? The types and methods of betrayal do not differ in variety. They take your boyfriend away. They give away your secrets. They stop talking to you for no apparent reason and find themselves a new “best” friend. All sorts of cute chips like “unfriending” or “disliking” on the social network are just a visualization of the main fact. The emotions of the injured party also cannot be called diverse (although it seems to you that no one has ever suffered like this!). You go through all the stages of grief: pain, denial, anger, acceptance. loves his readers and reminds: getting stuck in one of the early stages is dangerous.

So let's discuss constructive ways to get out of a situation where you have become a victim of betrayal.

Girlfriend betrayed: "She seduced my husband"

Why do they need it? Seduce your husband? Break a couple? Because of self-doubt. From envy, which was carefully hidden. And also to get recognition and approval. Not yours, so your man. Which also needs recognition and approval.

How it was? What did she say to him? Approximately the following. “Why are you so sad today, dear husband of my best friend? I'm so happy that she introduced us. Because now I know you so well, I can easily feel your mood. What can I do for you? I care about you, you understand? You are such an extraordinary person, I really admire you. You deserve a medal for loving my best friend, because it's not always easy with her, right? In general, "even in the heart a flatterer will always find a corner."

Husbands and boyfriends follow suit and also become traitors when discussing your personal differences with "unprofessional third parties" - family friends. They pretend to need advice when in fact they seek recognition in the form of sympathy, praise, support and love. “I really don’t know how to properly communicate with my wife, because, from her point of view, I’m doing everything wrong ...”

The best friend, the unsolicited adviser who is trying to seduce your husband, needs to be recognized as soon as possible. Open the cards by asking her to respect your marriage. And in order to maintain a relationship with your husband, give him the recognition and approval that he needs.

Girlfriend betrayed: how not to lose her

If you find yourself in a situation where your girlfriend betrayed you, follow these steps.

Try to be objective. Consider if this was a misunderstanding. Maybe your friend really did something wrong, but she has a convincing explanation? When talking with friends, you can easily catch them emotional condition, positive or negative. If it becomes obvious that you are jumping to conclusions, make peace.
Take your time. Perhaps the situation is not as bad as you think. Let emotions cool down.
Be willing to forgive despite your anger. Perhaps she is already very sorry about her act. Forgive her for your own sake so you don't get stuck in the anger stage that is devastating to your health. Do not hide resentment and disappointment from her, just leave the pain and anger behind.
Consider whether you want to continue to support with this person. Public opinion tends to be that a friend who betrayed once will do it again. But it also depends on the situation and the person. If you find that you no longer want to be friends with this person, cut all ties. Follow the previous recommendations and it will be much easier to do. After all, a friend already knows that you are upset, that you have thought it all over and that your decision is objective. If you find yourself wanting to keep your friendship, make sure your friend understands how you feel. She understands what she did was wrong. But that you forgave her and want to remain friends. Even if she showed no open remorse.
Try to relax and be alone for a while. Idle walks, reading, shopping, dancing - do what gives you pleasure. The decision on what you need to do next will come by itself.
Think about how "she" feels. If she's about as upset as you are, you might want to talk to her. It really helps. You never know what's going on in her soul right now, so just ask. It's always good to look at a situation from a different perspective.

It's hard to make friends, and even harder to trust them. It is very difficult to find a person who truly loves you and cares about you. Ideally, a friend is someone who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray you. If you are unlucky, try to get out of this situation with minimal losses to your mental and physical health.

And here we have prepared even more interesting materials for you!

The betrayal of a girlfriend is one of the most terrible events. Most often it manifests itself in deceit or omissions. People are often confused and do not know whether to forgive the offender after these events. There are situations that can be forgiven, and there are unforgivable things. Each person must decide this for themselves. But that's up to you. In any case, you should not conflict, you can simply isolate yourself from the person or remain good friends.

How to take revenge on a friend for betrayal?

Many girls wonder, for betrayal? Here you need to understand the following. Causing harm to another person, no one goes unpunished. That's how the laws of the universe work. What you give to the outside world is what you will receive in the end. Therefore, try to let go of the situation and mentally forgive the people who offended you.

How to survive the betrayal of a friend?

First, you need to pull yourself together. You should feel your own confidence and support. If you decide to continue communicating with a friend, then soon you yourself will understand whether this communication is worth maintaining. After all, there are different situations, try to understand why a friend acted that way. Perhaps there is a share of your guilt in betrayal? If a friend wants to talk after the conflict, be sure to give her this opportunity. You may have misunderstood the situation, in any case, listen to the person and try to understand if he is being honest with you.

Can betrayal be forgiven?

The answer is simple - even necessary. It does not depend on whether you will continue to communicate with the person, it is necessary for you. Forgiveness always eases the soul and gives strength to move on. Perhaps a friend made a mistake, so it is very important to give her the opportunity to correct everything. After a conflict, you should not constantly reproach a person and remind him of a mistake made. Later you will understand whether to trust this person. Unfortunately, meanness and betrayal are all too common in our time, but there are many good and honest people. Try to find and communicate with such people, they probably exist in your environment.

Psychology of betrayal

It manifests itself in the fact that most often it happens unconsciously. Sometimes a traitor does not realize that he is a traitor, but the reckoning in both cases is the same. Problem modern world in the fact that initially we had a wrong understanding of some things. From here, people make very serious mistakes. Many realize their mistakes only in old age, which is very sad. The betrayal of your best friend is a very unpleasant turn, but try to look at the situation from the other side. Perhaps you can learn a lesson from it or consider its advantages. Try to analyze the situation well. You may have lost a close friend, but is it worth it to be upset if a person could harm you and friendship did not stop him? If there is some guilt in betrayal, then learn from this lesson and continue not to do things that led to such consequences.

Betrayal of loved ones always brings a lot of grief. Many people believe that betrayal cannot be forgiven. In fact, everything is relative. You yourself must take a sober look at the situation and decide it for yourself. If you can’t deal with this, it makes sense to turn to a good psychologist who will help you figure it all out and. We hope that our advice will help you make the right decision.

The betrayal of a friend, and like any other betrayal, is very difficult to survive. And the fact is that the person turned out to be completely different from what you thought him to be, but a coward or a scoundrel, but the fact that it is very difficult for a person who survived the betrayal of a loved one to cope with his own resentment and hatred in this case for a close friend. So, in order to survive betrayal, you need to learn to value your nerves and your health, and throw the offender out of your life forever. But it doesn't always work out that way...

It is very interesting that the advice of different countries and religions is very different regarding betrayal. Well, for example, among our ancestors, and among you and me, there is a proverb that says: "If a person betrayed once, he will definitely betray the second." According to this proverb, you and I should never forgive our offenders, even if they ask our forgiveness on their knees and swear that they have realized their mistake.

It turns out that your girlfriend does not deserve your forgiveness. More precisely, forgiveness - then, of course, she deserves, you won’t carry the weight of resentment on your shoulders for the rest of your life, but you shouldn’t let her into your life again, trust her and consider her your friend, naturally. So, no matter how rude and selfish it may sound, if your girlfriend betrayed you, consider that you no longer have a girlfriend, regardless of what exactly she did.

On the contrary, very interesting wisdom exists in the Arab countries. Arab sages are sure that "if a person committed one betrayal, then he may not commit the second, but if he committed the second, then he will definitely commit the third."

It turns out interesting, doesn't it? It turns out that the wise men are sure that any person deserves forgiveness, as well as a second chance. And in this decision they are very generous and benevolent, but if you look logically and from the point of view of your own dignity, how can you let into your life and again trust the person who betrayed you?

So, you have just learned two sides of the same problem, and how exactly you should proceed, of course, is up to you. The only thing you have to do is to be sure to forgive your girlfriend, as the severity of the offense is too great. Forgive her, but trusting her again or not trusting her is already a personal matter for everyone.

Are you worried about your girlfriend? In vain!

It goes without saying that you are very worried about this, and it is understandable, because you were betrayed by the person with whom you have been together for many years, and maybe not many years, but what great ones! That's just in order to survive her betrayal, you need to look at this situation, discarding emotions and feelings. So, let's look at this situation from the standpoint of personal and social psychology.

So, do you know that friendship, in general, and female friendship, in particular, does not exist. Yes Yes. Did you think this girl was your friend? Friendship does not exist - there are mutually beneficial mutual conditions for the interaction of two or more people. And when one of the participants in this interaction no longer needs this relationship, and betrayals, disagreements and quarrels occur.

So, in fact, you should not be upset and worried for the simple reason that she was not your friend, you were simply united by common interests, common leisure, and, possibly, work, but nothing more. So, you have not lost a close and reliable person, as you initially assumed, just one of the members broke away from your “habitat and existence”, and there is nothing to worry about.

It's time to remember old acquaintances and find new ones.

Believe it or not, but experts in the field of bioenergetics are sure that if a person leaves your life voluntarily (and betrayal is, in fact, voluntary leaving), then he does this only in order to free a place for someone or something better. So, the betrayal of a girlfriend is a great kick to remember old acquaintances and make new ones.

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In addition, communication and new acquaintances are an excellent way of therapy against depression, worries and nervous disorders, since newer emotions will help you forget old grievances, and this is a fact.

Get ready for the fact that you will want to self-flagellate, that is, you will begin to reproach yourself that it is you who are to blame for everything, you were a bad friend, since she decided to betray, you are now left alone - alone. Throw these thoughts out of your head immediately, because no one is safe from betrayal: neither good friends nor bad ones.

Keep no evil

I would like to say again that you should not hold a grudge against your ex-girlfriend and be sure to forgive her. The fact is that if you forgive her with all your heart and let her go with a smile from your life, all the evil that she wanted to inflict on you will not touch you, but will fall upon her with double force. But, if you hatch a plan of revenge and hate her in your soul, it turns out that she will win this battle and achieve her goal. So, no need to take revenge, forgive her, and fate will put everything in its place. Believe me, everything is visible from above.

And finally, I would like to give you last tip: smile and thank fate for the fact that such a person has finally left your life. What do you now understand how unreliable it is and, in general, you do not need it. Imagine how hurtful it would be if you became even more attached to her, and she betrayed you much later and much more. So, say “thank you” for the fact that fate saved you and let you know as soon as possible that this friend is a traitor. Smile and open the door of your heart to new friends, girlfriends and positive emotions!