Vivid negative emotions, caused by anger, irritation or resentment, often make you do rash acts and utter unnecessary words. Can you learn to control your emotions? Of course. And you need to start by recognizing the fact that your emotions are not controlled by you, or are controlled very poorly. Therefore, the first task in curbing them will be the awareness and regulation of all emotional manifestations. The ability of a person to keep emotions under control makes life much easier. Such a person will never say too much and will not offend his neighbor.
Try to understand why this emotion has arisen. What was the real reason for this emotion? In this way, you increase your awareness of your own emotions, and this will force you to deal with your emotions rather than being wrapped up by them. So please take the liberty and share.
Woman biting her nails: everyone should remember that "there is life after the test," says the expert. Sao Paulo. Among all the obstacles faced by those who are going to give a public competition, the emotional lack of control is by far the most "democratic".
The problem naturally pertains to ill-prepared candidates whose ignorance about disciplines leads to stress and uncertainty during the test. Emotional distress interferes with concentration and reasoning, which prevents the candidate from using his or her maximum ability to answer exam questions. “It's very clear when, immediately after leaving the test room, he realizes the mistakes he made,” says the teacher.
First of all, this applies to people who experience irritation, anger and resentment very often and for the slightest reason. They are dissatisfied with others and are sure that in emotional showdowns they are driven by a righteous sense of justice. However, the real driving force behind negative manifestations is unconscious dissatisfaction with one's own life. A person cannot or does not want to admit to himself that he is gnawed by fear, self-doubt, despair from the inability to achieve more in life ... It is much easier to hide from internal problems, showing dissatisfaction with others and giving vent to their emotions.
Of course, to a certain extent, nervousness can be healthy. According to Renata Ksisto, a psychologist and trainer who specializes in public tenders, a little worry helps motivate a candidate and take them out of their comfort zone. The "stimulator" becomes a poison when the candidate allows his malaise to take on large proportions - and becomes a kind of fear, the causes of which he no longer knows how to explain rationally.
Want to stay calm in your studies and during the test? Learn how to do breathing exercises. For example, if you pull air for 3 seconds. Make as many test simulations as possible. One tactic adopted by some candidates is to run various contests, even if they are designed for seemingly uninteresting waves. According to Rachel, taking any exam, even for a job you don't want to take, boosts your self-esteem and neutralizes the belief that rankings are impossible.
No less rare are situations when a person accumulates negativity for years. Sooner or later, there comes a moment when you no longer have the strength to endure, and the negative spills out on others. As a rule, in this case, the closest and most defenseless suffer most often. The root of such problems lies in the inability of a person to resolve the situation in a timely manner. Instead of calmly sorting out what is happening, a person “stores” anger, resentment, irritation, envy in his soul, without thinking that sooner or later the cup of patience will be overflowing.
Be gentle with yourself Physical and mental well-being are inevitably intertwined. For this reason, emotional balance depends on constant care with the body. According to Rachel, good nights of sleep and regular physical activity help regulate cortisol levels, hormone levels associated with stress and anxiety.
Body exercise also helps in research: A University of Illinois study shows that aerobic practice develops parts of the brain associated with attention and memory. In order not to be misunderstood by others, it is important to call them frank and clear talk. In many cases, you will only have peace after the people around you finally understand your point of view and respect you.
The source of negative emotions in our time is the media, when from the pages of newspapers and TV screens streams of aggression, violence, outright lies and hypocrisy are pouring on us. Society absorbs this aggression and negativity, and we often meet in life with manifestations of rudeness and cruelty. In this case, the need to control one's own emotions increases many times over.
Don't give up on pleasure. The participant's procedure is complex and likely to require sacrifice. This does not mean, however, that you should impose absolute deprivation on your life - even less so if that is what is good for you. If you enjoy movies, for example, try to organize yourself to watch at least one or two during the week; If you love going to the beach, be sure to visit it whenever possible. “These moments of pleasure and relaxation are fundamental to relieving pressure rather than desperation while studying,” says Professor Lelis.
How to learn to restrain emotions?
If you managed to understand what exactly makes you react violently to what is happening, consider that soon you will be able to take control of your emotions. Knowing what exactly is bothering you will make it much easier to deal with the problem.
Have you noticed that you are often visited by fear for loved ones and irritability after watching crime news? Just stop watching these shows. Switch to the "Culture" channel more often - it will give a lot of food for the mind and calm the soul. Do not watch political news and analytical programs, they often lead to sad, anxious thoughts and make you angry.
Remember that "after the test, there is life." A common source of unnecessary suffering is the false idea that condemnation means complete failure. For Paulo Estrella, director of the New Competition Academy, a candidate's happiness cannot depend on a test. “Life goes on, other competitions will come, and you'll be fine when you're ready,” he says. “Things become easier when you recognize the complexity of your mission and accept the temporary situation you are in.”
Do you want to live in fear of not being yourself, or is it better to live in self-confidence? How many times have you heard that it is important to master, manage, To control your emotions? And that it was wrong to express them, to exteriorize them? What does it mean to simply control your emotions? Is it possible to master the fact that no one knows, that man does not understand himself and that we are not aware of him? Is it possible that this is not right for all of us?
It is much more difficult to “rebuild” yourself if you understand that the reason for your emotional incontinence was dissatisfaction with your own life. This is a difficult situation for introspection, so break it down into many small tasks and solve each one separately.
For example, your household members constantly make you angry. A five-year-old son - because he does not put his toys and clothes back in place, but scatters things all over the apartment. Husband - because he is not able to wash even a tea cup after himself, but simply puts everything in the sink. And this is not all the claims that you are ready to present to them.
If you are not afraid to blame your teachers and all those people who never bothered to see them in the first place and understand each other, maybe you are not afraid today, hui, but do you remember your childhood about him? By the way, you can do what I do and watch you without trial. Why not see our true nature through them?
Where did this idea of controlling emotions come from?
To find out what we went through when we were young? If you look closely at those who talk about managing emotions, they are usually rational people, introverted people, painfully cold people who have lost touch with themselves and complicate things by using more of the Word to try and show their education, their complexity, their importance and therefore being right and you are wrong.
You get angry with your son, scold him every day and clean up after him yourself. Your child doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. Firstly, because it was you who did not instill in him a love of order from the age of 2-3. It was at this age that you could explain to your son that the cars “should be put in the garage” after the game, and the cubes should be put in the box so that they would not get confused, and they would not have to be looked for all over the apartment when they wanted to play. And books generally like to live only on the table or on the bookshelf. Therefore, after reading, they must be returned to their "houses".
It is the sign of primitive man to imagine that simplicity is barbaric and this complexity is very advanced. When you are afraid to act, then you only need to command others to act out of fear and guilt in order to serve only your interests, and this fear comes from mastering your emotions.
But through experience it develops in consciousness and experience. Incomplete experience is worth nothing. Filling the mind with more and more words doesn't create much, you have to know yourself in action, which is a relationship. Do you think it's smart to deny your own natural emotions? Do you think that suppressing natural emotions is something smart?
Your child has grown up. And now, in order to accustom him to order, you will need other words and arguments, find them, explain to the child and be sure to involve him in cleaning. Praise him, say that now his toys are grateful to him, now they are much more pleasant to live than before.
Well, what about the husband? Are you waiting for the moment when he himself will guess that the cups he left annoy you? And it would be better if you just talk to him. Say that you have been waiting for a long time, that he will finally begin to help you at least in such trifles as dishes. Tell him that you really need his help, and what exactly you need. Feel free to talk about your feelings and call them by their proper names: "I'm offended that you ...", "It annoys me when ..." and so on. Be sure to emphasize that you are family and you would be the most happy man in the world, if your husband, together with you, took part in solving all matters, in housework, in what is most important to you.
Intelligence is not a faculty of the mind, it is no longer a memory of the past. Rational people are so afraid of relationships that they have come up with emotional suppression to justify themselves and hide their fear of acting. Reasoning is the interval between idea and action. The more you reason and the longer you delay action.
Since they are afraid to take action, they seek to control and dominate people so that they can act in their place, and with what tool do they do this? With a word that expresses their reasoning. That's why they say they control their emotions, so they suppress them instead of understanding them and directing them to an exciting project. They are afraid to act and deceive themselves, and this is difficult for a reasonable person who actually never makes mistakes in his eyes, he is too smart.
If you want to be heard by your son and husband, tame your negative emotions, talk calmly and argue your arguments and claims.
But if everything is very clear with family members, skirmishes in the store, public transport or with work colleagues are resolved differently. In life, we are not always surrounded by people who are pleasant to us. But this does not give us the right to splash out the negative, even if we are provoked into a quarrel.
You can control your emotions
But this mind is limited by what it thinks, not by who it is and what it does, so it uses only one facet of its three parts of its being, body, mind and spirit. Even his mind, he only uses the memory of the past. Do you want to control your emotions? So expect a monotonous life without joy, without creation, without unity or love, and in the isolation of your thought.
In truth, we are not born with any reason, but we are born with our natural emotions, then the mind is an invention of man, the unconscious and reasonable person who is afraid to observe, to know thyself And love one another. It's because you're not looking. Your tax collectors are blocked by your prejudices. But the day will come when you will accept "what is" and not "what is not." Embrace your nature, don't deny your nature.
The Chinese sages said: "No one is your friend, and no one is your enemy, but everyone is your Teacher." No matter how bad, from your point of view, the person who ruined your mood may be, he is sent to awaken in you better feelings- patience, understanding, wisdom, the ability to think and make the right decisions.
An evil person, a boor or an insolent person, perceive from the standpoint of this philosophy. After all, he was really sent to you by fate to test your strength. Therefore, do not succumb to provocation. Control will help you stay calm in a situation where an impartial swearing from your boss or rude remarks from the seller is pouring on you. Don't get emotional. Look at the situation from the outside. Look literally. Examine the face of the boss to the smallest detail - how his nostrils swell, how ugly his lips are folded, what unpleasant eyes. You don't want to look the same, do you? Therefore, you need to behave differently. If you have the courage, at the end of the tirade, ask: “You screamed so much that I didn’t understand anything. Can you repeat the same in a calm tone? Don't worry about what your boss will say or think. Whatever his reaction, you won this round.
Why do we have emotions?
Emotion is the life energy to create, express and act upon our body according to the choice of the mind and the observation of our soul. So if you don't express your emotions, if you don't use your emotions, then you are undead. Teaching children through fear and guilt to suppress, control or manage their emotions is tantamount to not living a joyful, free, fair life in harmony with others. And, unfortunately, this is what adults are forced, out of fear and guilt, to repeat the same behavior as their predecessors.
Well, you should not waste time and nerves on a boor seller. Do not surround yourself with boors voluntarily. Take your money to the store where good people work.
Always "listen" to what is happening in the soul - your goal is a calm acceptance of any events.
Change the negative to the positive.
There is an even easier and more enjoyable way to learn to control your emotions. If you understand that negative emotions prevent you from living and building good relationships with others, it's time to take care of positive emotions. After all, we splash out what overwhelms us. And if your soul is overflowing with positive emotions, it will benefit everyone!
What does it mean to understand emotions
Unlike all these people, I have the courage to take a different view, because it seems to me that too many people spread words from others and so on without discovering that this is true. It reminds me of all the apostles and all the priests who say you love one another but they don't. They talk about it without personal action. They even went so far as to kill to protect their church from another.
Our natural emotions are our gifts given at birth, and when we leave children to express these emotions, they, when they grow up, behave very cool on the subject and very quickly transcended their emotions without harm to others. But children who have been forced to feel that their emotions are not good, not wise or wrong, and that it is bad for them to express them or express them, and that they should not even use them and feel them. difficulties, when they have grown up, understand them accordingly.
Where to recharge with positive emotions? Yes everywhere! Start with your own environment. Choose people who are always laughing, joking, and in high spirits. Communicate with them, and reduce contacts with whiners, bores and brawlers to a minimum.
Watch only funny, kind TV shows. Read books about nature, about space, about the lives of prominent people. Be sure to walk a lot fresh air. If you have a family, it's better to do it all together - play while walking, have picnics in nature, walk your pets together.
Natural emotions, constantly suppressed, become unnatural emotions that cause very negative things in our relationships and in ourselves. Because of this, many people have caused death, conflict or terrible wars destroyed all harmony, and families were divided.
Take care of your children's emotions
However, the child is not afraid. The child also has no lack of freedom. He thinks he can love everyone. The child does not lack in life. Children imagine that they will live forever, and people who act like children believe that nothing can harm them. The child also does not know about resentment. Until adults teach him unworthy things.
Be sure to do some sports or fitness. Great physical activity relieves emotional stress. They are useful not only for physical but also for mental health.
All in your hands. You just need to want and take care of yourself.
Any scout, diplomat, good politician, professional athlete, surgeon, aristocrat, or just a worthy self-respecting person will clearly explain to you why you need to be able to control your emotions and manage them. Because the success of each of them directly depends on it.
As a result, kids run around naked and give braces to everyone without having to worry about it, as long as adults can do the same! Don't you think it's much harder to set someone free than it is to dominate them? IN Everyday life there are times when everything is going well, and others where you are overwhelmed and it is difficult for you to manage your emotions. You don't need to read the rest, otherwise there are some solutions for better control over situations where your emotions overwhelm you.
You can change the causes by working up on what is causing your destructive emotions, as well as learning how to better manage your emotions when they show up in your life. By advancing at both levels, you will advance faster with greater results.
And imagine what would happen if each of these people did not know how to control themselves and could not control their emotions:
The scout would have been split on the second day, in the first non-ordinary situation.
An athlete who does not know how to cope with his own excitement would not be able to control his body properly and, most likely, would get injured instead of a medal. The surgeon would have killed the patient with his scalpel in trembling hands.
A politician would always he would break loose and fall for every provocation, get upset, get nervous, lose face, and with it the support, reputation and trust of people, voters, and the electorate.
An aristocrat in such cases, in the old days, lost Honor and Dignity, and with them the right to enter the high society, the circle of the elite of society, the right to appear at balls and high-ranking receptions. And sometimes, due to unworthy behavior, an aristocrat could lose his title, titles, honor of the whole family and even life.
An ordinary person loses no less than a politician, surgeon, athlete or diplomat if he does not know how to control emotions.
What does a person lose when he does not know how to control emotions?
1. Joy and positive state when negative emotions provoke him, take possession of him and destroy a good state of mind.
2. Calm and peace in, which are often much more valuable than any, even positive emotions that are not controllable.
3. Often loses relationships, friends, loved ones and loved ones! When, in a fit of anger or resentment, they destroy the remnants of feelings, love and trust in each other.
4. Face, dignity and reputation of an adequate respected person who is able to control himself. One who often does not know how to control himself is no better than an animal that throws itself in a rage at its owner, protecting the bone thrown by him.
5. Power and control over yourself and your life! Because there is always a great danger of falling into such external conditions that will contribute to the loss of state, the awakening of uncontrolled negative emotions and inadequate, unworthy behavior, with unpredictable, and sometimes terrible consequences.
You can list many more points that a person loses when he is not able to control himself. But this article is not about that, but about what you need to do to learn how to control your emotions. I hope there is enough motivation, now to the topic!
How to control your emotions and how to learn to manage emotions?
Consider the main methods designed to control and manage emotions. There are methods that are publicly available to everyone, but there are also purely esoteric, more complex ones that need to be mastered with a mentor. But that's not all you need to be able to do with your emotions.
In addition, if these emotions are purely negative -, etc. - you need to be able to eradicate them completely in yourself, burn them out, destroy them and replace them with the necessary positive qualities that give strength and dignity. Such as - calmness, self-control, and good nature, acceptance, love. How to work with these emotions - read the articles dedicated to each of them.
So, how to control your emotions and manage them:
1. To begin with, you need to learn at least to stop, to restrain yourself- do not shout in response to a provocation or expressed resentment, but learn, before saying something (yelling) in response, at least count to ten or take a deep breath 3 times - exhale. If you manage to do this, this is already a big victory! The next step is to extinguish this or that emotion, in the beginning - at least stop, block it. This allows you to take a breath and still think with your head before you blurt out something without thinking.
At first, you may have to quickly get out of the situation (run out of the room or from the office), so as not to break loose and break firewood, calm down to breathe, drink some water, think about what to answer adequately, then go in and say what you planned.
2. Method of switching yourself! Switching yourself to something else is a purely psychological method and is suitable for people with a good imagination. For example, imagine that a person does not swear at you, but reads poetry to you, and thank him for every word, saying "I love you very much too." Sometimes it can help a lot, but it doesn’t work for everyone, this method is more suitable for fun and creative people. It allows you to prevent the awakening, in them, of negative emotions.
3. Method of switching another or shock therapy! One friend used it. The boss started yelling at her in the elevator, she listened and listened, and when he stopped talking, she asked calmly and smiling - “Evgeny Olegovich, do you want me to sing a song for you?”, - he was taken aback, did not say a word in response, went out on the wrong floor. He didn't yell at her anymore. This is from the category of preventing negative emotions in oneself and blocking them in another. But it is, nevertheless, a method of control and management.
4. ! Autosuggestion has 2 modes - normal and esoteric. Esoteric is for those who own the energy techniques of self-hypnosis and reprogramming. Such a method, if a negative emotion has risen, allows not only to extinguish it, but also immediately rewrite it, to a positive reaction through self-hypnosis - for example, burn anger and reveal, strengthen goodwill, or destroy fear and strengthen fearlessness and courage.
Simplified technique of self-hypnosis- these are affirmations, that is, pronouncing certain programs to yourself: "I increase calmness", "I control myself", "I am calm, independent and invulnerable", etc.
5. Yogic Breathing - Pranayama! Breath of fire and other types of yogic breathing, including - are designed to learn how to control emotions. The same techniques, with their regular practice, allow you to learn how to burn through negative emotions and establish inner peace. The sages say "Peace is the door to Heaven". So try it, it's worth it.
6. , practice! Meditation allows you to learn how to do several important things: A) Develop a state of deep peace and relaxation in order to gradually transfer it to your whole life. C) In a comfortable meditative state, learn to raise your negative emotions (through modeling a conflict situation), consider your anger, for example, see its cause and remove it altogether, that is, reprogram your usual reaction. C) Find stronger and more worthy reactions and master them through modeling the necessary situation in meditation. Moreover, this can be done many times until the reaction becomes stable and starts to automatically work out in real life.
7. Technique Identification! To dress oneself in the image of some chosen hero or heroine, to present oneself to him (the hero) and act, react in everything exactly like him. Ask yourself, what would a real Knight or a true Lady do in this situation, imagine it further, play this worthy role to the end. It works, however, this technique is also more suitable for creative or spiritual people with imagination.
8. ! For believers. When you feel that you are about to be pissed off and you see that you can not restrain yourself (lose control) - close your eyes and start praying, forgive y, take away your and his (the second person) negative, and give you in this situation what is most needed (strength, patience, goodwill, the ability to forgive the offender, wisdom, etc.). It works! If you can do all this without closing your eyes, pray with open eyes. If you feel that you cannot withstand the negative pressure, get out of the situation (leave the room for 5 minutes and clean yourself up).
9. Active physical exercise! They always help, for burning negativity - good physical activity. Go to the gym to beat a pear, 50 push-ups from the floor (for women 20) or sit down. Run on a treadmill for 20 minutes at an intense pace. In general, if you have accumulated and there is no more urine to endure - go and dump, burn all the negativity in training. It works! Athletes who train to exhaustion, up to 7 sweats, are usually very calm people, without negative emotions, because all their negativity burns out in training.
