Love. Very short, but such a meaningful word. How many emotions and feelings it brings. For everyone, it has its own and carries its own special memories, from which, perhaps, it becomes joyful or not very. Love for mother, relatives is a familiar feeling to everyone. This is when, from being close to loved ones, the soul becomes warm and light. It is good when there are loving people around you who can support you in difficult times. They don’t care what position you occupy in society or, for example, what your appearance is, because your existence already brings them happiness. They are just as happy to be with you for free. And you, in turn, are pleased to know that these people simply exist and they are doing well. With true love, it's different. You can talk about this topic for hours, or even weeks. It is not surprising that this wonderful feeling pushes people to thoughtless actions, sometimes beautiful and terrifying. Many poets and writers have sung and praised love for many centuries. After all, there is not a single person who has not experienced this feeling. It is familiar to everyone and anyone can give it their own definition. What could be more beautiful than love? This feeling comes out of nowhere and cannot be suppressed or forced. And that's why it's so hard to endure unrequited love, because you can't hide it anywhere. Love is unpredictable. It arises unexpectedly, unexpectedly, when you do not expect it at all. Beloved person, reciprocity, trust, strong family. For most, these are the main components of a successful, established love. Everyone dreams that love will arise once and for all life. But the first experience is not always successful, because people can make mistakes. And don't stop, no matter how much it hurts. It is worth falling in love again and again, until you find your cherished love. Because if you don't try, you won't be happy. But true love is not always able to be called. Sometimes we very often confuse fleeting love with love, we believe that "here he is, the man of my life." But we should not deceive ourselves, create the illusions we need. What is "love" anyway? This is exactly the feeling when a person is fascinated only by appearance or some other external sign, i.e. just a guise. When you fall in love, you turn a blind eye to the real qualities of a person, perhaps he does not even attract you in general. But, alas, this is not so important for you, because one feature overshadowed the overall impression. To some extent, a person in love behaves like an egoist, sees only the necessary qualities for him. Falling in love is not limited to purely physical attraction, it is accompanied by a desire for rapprochement with the object of love. But besides, it does not affect us deeply spiritually. Such a quivering light does not light up inside. It is also a very unstable feeling, at times it covers you with your head, and sometimes it practically disappears. Most often, the feeling of falling in love passes as quickly as it flares up. But it may well happen that falling in love develops into a more valuable high feeling, for example, into love. The main thing is not to forget to take a better look at the person and understand what he really is. In turn, it is necessary not to confuse such two feelings as attraction and sympathy. What is it really? But even here the answer is not clear. Interpretations of meanings are different, but in general they carry the same meaning. Attraction is an unrequited feeling for someone, but unrequitedness does not cause as many negative emotional experiences as, for example, with love. Sympathy is a feeling during which someone is pleasant to you, you like it as a person. This feeling is absolutely different from falling in love and love. Attraction can be a consequence of love. During it, a person experiences an irresistible need of the subject, the desire to find a loved one nearby. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is worth loving with all your heart and soul, surrendering to feelings completely. Because only sincere love can become pleasant for both halves. Love and be loved!!!
How often two people get confused in feelings for each other. It doesn't matter if they are friends or lovers. The line in intimate relationships is so blurred that it is often difficult to understand the true state of things. Because the very concepts of friendship and love are very similar. Both are based on mutual sympathy, and the main thing here is not to confuse true feelings and not make mistakes that can destroy all the good that was born between two people.
Sympathy, friendship, falling in love, love - this is usually the consistent course of many close relationships. Very often they stop at friendship, without growing into something more serious. And it happens that what should have remained just a friendship, two people try to artificially change and look for love where it was not originally intended, which leads to serious disappointment on both sides.
And in order to avoid such situations, you should initially correctly prioritize and sort out your feelings. Of course, this process is very difficult, because feelings are rarely amenable to any specific definition, and even professional psychologists are sometimes not able to figure out what kind of feeling lies, by definition, in some specific relationship. There is even a fashionable phrase among today's youth, which is very accurately defined by such situations - "friendship - underrelationships."
And here the most important thing is to take a sober look at these relationships, look inside yourself and the other person, and draw conclusions impartially, and often ruthlessly, what exactly brought you together and what specific motives support this connection. Whether it is a desire for communication and spiritual intimacy, or an intimate attraction and romantically colored dizzying meetings.
Sympathy and falling in love are not necessarily interconnected. Often this is simply a commonality of interests of two people and nothing more. That's just in times of scarcity of spiritual communication, very often you can confuse just sympathy and nascent love. And to best understand your feelings, you need to take a closer look at these relationships.
Do they have jealousy? Are there desires for happiness and care for a partner? Or do their own interests dominate more? That is, in order to distinguish love from friendship, you must first understand what drives actions - the desire to be with this person and communicate, or the desire to possess him in any situation. With a friend do not go to bed when he is drunk and dirty. They will simply help a friend, but you hardly want to be with him. But the feeling of love washes away such nuances and completely changes the attitude. So, first of all, you should understand your aspirations and motives.
Interestingly, many couples create marriages on the basis of friendships. Of course, such unions are strong and durable, but they collapse in an instant without any regrets when one of the partners meets true love.
Sympathy, falling in love, love... How you want the relationship to develop in this sequence and without pitfalls. And despite the fact that very often the lines are washed away and friendship becomes love and vice versa, a careful and sensitive relationship with each other will help to avoid many problems and mistakes, and accordingly develop your relationship in the right direction.
The emergence of new and strong feelings for the opposite sex inspires a person, gives him strength and joy. But at the same time, it can bring a lot of pain and suffering. To avoid unnecessary disappointment, you should sort out your feelings, instead of denying their appearance.
There is a solution! Not for everyone, but worth a try! It helped me get rid of blackheads and pimples on my face. Try this face mask! Watch →
True love is not always easy to recognize. To do this, you need to conduct an honest introspection and show diligence in order to understand your feelings and understand the sympathies of your chosen one.
- sympathy;
- love;
- Love.
- frankness, trust and understanding;
- loyalty;
- passion.
Show all
Love or infatuation?
Before you fully plunge headlong into a romantic relationship, you need to understand three main facets:
Understanding these points will help you avoid mistakes and eventually find true happiness.
Being in love can often be confused with love. Both of these concepts imply romantic feelings. However, their basis is different. If love turns a blind eye to shortcomings and rests only on an external and superficial foundation, then love knows about the strengths and weaknesses of a partner, it constantly grows and grows stronger, no matter what.
To decide, you need to study 10 differences between love and falling in love.
What do you like in a person?
An enthusiastic person pays most of all attention to physical data - a beautiful figure, a pretty face, an athletic physique, etc. Although there is nothing wrong with looking at beautiful people, but appearance is just a beautiful wrapper in which there is no corresponding content. Having met a person of a more attractive appearance, sympathy can easily pass, and thoughts will already be occupied with a new acquaintance.
Unlike sympathy, true love is interested in the personality of a loved one. Physical attraction is present, but it only complements the personal characteristics and attractive qualities of a partner.
Evaluation of merit
When falling in love, a person pays attention only to some qualities of the chosen one. He closes his eyes to his shortcomings and exaggerates his strengths.
But when you truly love a person, you know about all his shortcomings, accept them and try to focus more on his actions, strengths and admire them.
Invariance in feelings
Love is not characterized by constancy. Therefore, the feelings of a man or woman can either blaze or subside for a certain period. The reason is that it is a superficial feeling. It does not have deep roots that constantly fuel interest in a person.
Man's love does not calm down. Thoughts about her beloved, the desire to constantly see a person, to be near and hear her voice do not let go for a single day. If a passionate person can easily endure separation, then with real feelings, it becomes unbearable pain.
How do feelings affect personality?
Psychology notes that a fleeting infatuation with another person leads to disorganization. A person becomes distracted, relaxed, ceases to think sensibly. In addition, falling in love encourages spontaneous and thoughtless actions.
Deep feelings always create. They encourage the lover to develop, improve, work on their qualities, give a surge of new strength and energy with which you can move mountains.
Important elements of love
An analysis of the main components of true love will help to distinguish love from falling in love.
Deep and genuine feelings are based on:
In sympathy, there is only physical attraction and fidelity, but there is no open communication and mutual understanding. Falling in love includes passion and frankness, but if partners do not make efforts to overcome difficulties, remain faithful to each other, then over time it will pass.
basis of feelings
To find out if this is true love, you should think about what goal is pursued in the desire to have a loved one. If a girl believes that a guy can make her happy, will provide for her and thinks only about her own interests, then this is a hobby, but not love.
Genuine love is different in that it does not seek its own benefit. Love induces selflessly, devotedly to look after the interests of another and do everything possible for his happiness.
Opinion of others
An important test for true feelings is the opinion of loved ones about the chosen one. An enthusiastic person tends to idealize the other, not paying attention to serious shortcomings. Friends or family may not approve of the choice made, because they look at things realistically and see dangerous signals.
When a girl truly loves, then more often parents and friends do not go against such a relationship. They will see the same good qualities and deeds for which she fell in love with a man, they will be able to make sure that she knows about his shortcomings and is ready to put up with them all her life.
Time is the best indicator of feelings
Distance is the best opportunity to define and test your feelings. Sympathy rests only on physical attractiveness. If people are simply passionate about each other, then under the influence of time and distance, interest in a person disappears and the relationship ends.
To completely forget a man, a woman in love needs 1-3 months. Then she is visited by thoughts about the hopelessness of the relationship, and she begins to pay attention to handsome guys.
Unlike passion for deep feelings, nothing can interfere. For those who truly love each other, the thread of love only grows stronger, despite thousands of kilometers and years of parting. Lovers will find opportunities to maintain their relationship, because they can no longer exist without each other. No other person of the opposite sex can replace and fill the void in the heart.
Existence without love is meaningless. Even if people claim that they do not need love at all, the reality is somewhat different. This is just a defensive reaction of a person who has never experienced a great feeling and does not know what it is. Everyone wants to love and be loved, but the desire to meet a soul mate often leads to disastrous results. Hoping to find their happiness, people can confuse ordinary sympathy with true love.
Many films have been made about love, countless books have been written, but no one still knows how to properly recognize this feeling. A bad experience can lead to disappointment in life. In order to protect yourself from unnecessary shocks, you need to be able to soberly assess the situation.
Main differences
Men and women constantly confuse such important concepts as love and sympathy. At first glance, these feelings are very similar, but in reality they are very different from each other. In order to build a strong and fruitful relationship, you first need to understand your feelings for your partner. Realization may come too late. The main rule in this difficult matter is that love and sympathy are very similar, but they must follow each other, and not exist together.
Relations between a man and a woman begin with sympathy. It is the natural beginning of any relationship. It is this spark that makes lovers pay attention to each other, endows the partner with ideal qualities, even if they are absent. A woman blinded by feelings may simply not notice the negative qualities of the chosen one. This also applies to men. Euphoria from sympathy is fleeting, sooner or later it will pass. After her disappearance, it becomes clear whether serious feelings have appeared.
How then to explain love at first sight? Psychologists believe that this is not love at all, but simply a strong sympathy with an obsessive character. A person strikes you to the core, depriving you of peace and completely occupying your thoughts. But it won't always be like this, and it's wrong to call it love. It takes more time for love to arise.
Unlike sympathy, love is selective. Falling in love, a person evaluates the qualities of a partner and decides whether he can accept his shortcomings as they are. Sympathy, on the other hand, does not see negative qualities, completely idealizing shortcomings. It passes, and you remain in a slight bewilderment, not understanding how you could like such a person.
Several ways
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, you can use the following methods to sort out your feelings. Before you take a serious step and open your feelings, you need to look at what is happening from the other side. A few simple tips will help you make a difficult choice.
- Do you want to please someone? It may seem silly, but in reality, a person always wants to see a smile on the face of a loved one. The desire to please a partner and please him with an unexpected surprise, without demanding anything in return, can be one of the main signs of serious feelings. If you do not want to waste time on such nonsense, you should seriously think about it.
- What do you feel when you see the chosen one? If you are overwhelmed with a feeling of boundless happiness and warmth at the sight of an object of sympathy, then perhaps this is true love.
- Are you contemplating a future together? Think about whether you can imagine a partner as a husband or wife. Do you see your common children, everyday life and life together? In fact, this is very important, because it is these things that determine the real feelings of a person. If a man or woman absolutely does not attract you as a partner for the future, then you should forget about such a relationship and try to find something else.
- Are you interested in being together? You need to think about what exactly attracts you in a prospective lover. In the case of sympathy, this can only be external data, while love involves more serious reasons.
happy ending
Having correctly assessed the situation, you can avoid broken hopes and disappointments. Often, supposed love can turn out to be sympathy or develop into a strong friendship. However, it should be remembered that excessive caution can also lead to negative consequences. In matters of the heart, you should trust only yourself and not listen to the opinions of others.
Do not be afraid to make a mistake, the main thing is to always give an account of your own actions. Sympathy is a slight feeling that can appear suddenly and disappear in the same way. And love is something else that is not given to every person. Only by listening to your heart, you can find out the true nature of your feelings.
What kid would turn down an extra-curricular activity about sympathy, falling in love, and love on the eve of Valentine's Day?
From early childhood, through fairy tales, literature lessons and films, the girl is preparing for a meeting with Love. Literally from the age of 12 (and especially from the beginning of the menstrual cycle), she expects the appearance of a dream boy and mutual feelings. Naturally, both early relationships and their delay cause deep suffering. An important role is played by the “label”: how the girl defines her feeling for herself. If he calls him love, then after the break he suffers for a long time (sometimes even for years), assuring himself that a real feeling can only be once in a lifetime.
Even without being a psychologist, a teacher can explain that our emotions are influenced by our own thoughts and attitudes. It is enough to change the angle of view, for example, to tell a teenager that it is difficult to find true love in the first relationship, this requires a certain experience of communicating with the opposite sex.
It is also in the power of the teacher to teach a teenage girl to distinguish between shades of her own and other people's feelings and, in accordance with them, choose the right strategy of behavior in relations with young people.
To start the discussion, invite the teens to talk about what they think is sympathy, what is in love, and what is love. There will obviously be many answers. It is important to be able to lead the participants in the conversation to the correct understanding of each of these feelings.
Sympathy is a positive disposition towards another person, where the evaluative component predominates. Only one who has (or is attributed to) some positive qualities can be liked, usually those that one would like to see in oneself, for example, confidence, activity, sense of humor. You can feel sympathy for several people at once (not necessarily of the opposite sex) and at the same time not urgently need any of them.
First love is usually called falling in love, which quickly passes, but is remembered forever precisely because it is the first. Teenagers get to know themselves, try their hand at winning sympathy. This is an impulsive, stormy and superficial feeling, often based on curiosity or a desire not to be different from peers who are already dating young people. Here the question from the teacher is appropriate, what attracted the girl in this or that boy. Appearance, popularity at school, sociability (or at the other extreme - antisocial behavior) - can these characteristics become the basis of a long-term relationship? Alas, not even all adults can correctly and consciously prioritize when choosing a couple. Next, you can offer the students a task: make a list of the qualities of your prospective chosen one and dream up what kind of relationship you would like to build with him. During the discussion, it will be easy to analyze the reasonableness of such wishes as a certain height and hair color, school grades and high material wealth.
In love, there is not only admiration and delight, dreams and passion, but also suffering, disappointment and resentment. Love is strong with loyalty and the deepest respect for the person who is nearby. It is impossible to humiliate and humiliate, equality, unity of interests, care, tenderness and mutual understanding should reign in relations. Love is always based on exclusivity: no one is needed but the beloved or beloved. This is not sympathy, but an intense need for this person, an attraction to him, a passionate desire to possess him, to be needed by him.
Such a conversation, of course, will not be able to protect teenagers from all possible mistakes. However, it will allow every girl to think about existing relationships and once again, more consciously, evaluate them.
Aksinya DORONINA, Clinical Psychologist, Always Academy
