Often people try to achieve success in life, both at work and in their personal lives. And now, it seems, there is a desire, and efforts have been made, but there is still no result and no. Why is this happening? Let's try to figure it out!

  • Your time is your luck. If you learn to value your time, you will achieve results. Do not waste hours on trifles, get busy implementing your plans. “Tomorrow I will be better” does not work. This is the collapse of dreams. Start today.
  • Don't waste your time on trifles. The mistake of many is that they cling to miscellaneous work but none are completed. You need to take the goal and go to it to the end.
  • You can't stop there. Many people think that if they are already working, then they need to sit at their workplace. Even if it's for minimum wage. But if a person improves his results, the authorities will appreciate it, and this will certainly affect the salary.
  • You are stronger and smarter than you think. Often people do not fully appreciate their efforts. That time it did not work out - it means a loser. But repetition is the mother of learning. Therefore, do not be afraid of difficulties, you can do everything or learn. The main thing is desire and desire.
  • Do not look for excuses for your failure and laziness. Sometimes it doesn't work right away. Then comes the excuse that he couldn't. Have you tried it? Before you make a "diagnosis of a loser", you should just try. Often - it works!
  • Be polite. Many losers are rude to people if they hear criticism addressed to them, or when they accidentally ruin a thing for them. Learn to communicate with people, be calm and polite.
  • Don't leave your plans for "later". Then it may not be. And often “later” is “never.” Many people live tomorrow, but notice - are they successful?
  • Learn to deal with difficulties. It didn’t work out now - make an effort, and it will work out tomorrow!
  • If you are prone to depression and apathy - alas, this is problematic. But if you get up through the force and do something, then the problem is solved. A person is equipped in such a way that if he is interested, he will move mountains.

You need to believe in yourself, in your strengths, in the society in which you live. These are the first steps to success!

  • Believe in yourself and your strengths.
  • Ignore the gossip that may surround you.
  • Be yourself.
  • Look at the world positively.
  • Choose a specific goal for yourself and become faithful to it.
  • Started a job - finish it.
  • Become responsible for your words and actions.

No need to be a victim, a sufferer offended by fate. You need to make every effort and become successful, this is real, no matter how your own laziness and apathy speak.

If a person has a question, what to do, if everything is bad in life, and nothing works out, this is an occasion to think about the priorities of life, to reconsider your life values. Everyone has a chance to become successful and rich, to be able to manage their time and finances. The main thing is to be self-confident, to be able to communicate with people, to negotiate. And then you can say to yourself with confidence - I am the best, I will prove to the whole world that I am worthy of happiness and success.

If you do not know the answer to the question of what to do, if everything is bad in life, and nothing works out, then pay attention to yourself and your surroundings. Perhaps you need to change something in this life? Maybe you are surrounded by the wrong people, or the wrong plans? Learn to be yourself in any incomprehensible situation. After all, sometimes you just need to say “stop” to yourself in the mirror and start all over again. Go to meet the goal, prove to society that you can, that you are worthy of respect. They will believe in you! Give them a chance to show themselves. After all, all our thoughts are reality. All dreams come true! Become proud for yourself and your children and you will see - everything is much easier than it seemed at first!

1. This question is usually asked by perfectionists who believe that everything should always be perfect - the husband is well-fed, the children are happy, the apartment is clean, the work is excellent, etc. But who said that it should be so? We come into this world to study, and such situations that irritate us and take away energy just help us grow, because only in a state of “lack” and dissatisfaction does our brain begin to come up with moves and actions to change something. And changes for the better, changes in ourselves and our lives - this is precisely why we come into this life. Joy is a bad teacher, happiness is too.

So thank Life for giving you situations in which you can express yourself.

And the more difficult the situation, the more powerful the measures for resolving should be.

2. When you ask yourself the question Why nothing works in life - remember that you are now attracting what you are talking about. You attract problems and resentment because you focus on the bad. What to do? Which exit? Start noticing what you already do - for example, you have a job and you don’t have to get a job again and go through interviews, you have a salary, you have a roof over your head, and you don’t have to spend the night at the station, you have money to buy groceries, there are healthy parents, perhaps there is a husband and he is healthy, there is a child and he is doing well. As soon as you begin to focus on the good, it will gradually manifest itself in your life.

3. Then start building your Life in your head the way you want and be sure to write options for how to attract it into your life.

For example, you want to marry a successful, rich, smart, beautiful. You need to be a match for such a man. How to do it? Bring your appearance in order, normal weight, beautiful clothes and love yourself, get crazy from yourself and give yourself gifts. And over time, someone will appear who will like to give you gifts and will love you. Everyone knows, but for some reason they forget that other people treat us the way we treat ourselves.

If you want a good income, consider options for what value you can give to other people, how to improve their lives, satisfy their needs. And exchange this value for money. What is needed for this? Perhaps you need to learn to value yourself more, gain more courage, face your fears.

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Hello dear and good people. I am not writing to you for the first time. So let's get started.
I completely withdrew into myself ... Nothing in life works out, everything is tired. I see no point in living. I still don’t have a girlfriend at the age of 21, I can’t come up in life and get to know each other, and I know that I will never do it. Loneliness for me is one of the most finished things in life. But without a girl there is no point in living. On dating sites everyone ignores me, in life only those who I don’t like at all look at me like a guy. Do I have such a low price, and I can not be with the best? I hate life for this...
I was fired from my job because of my distraction and inattention... Apathy, indifference and indifference never leave me. At the same time, I never get enough sleep, I am always lethargic and sleepy, there is no energy coming after sleep ... I can’t work, because it really annoys me, I don’t know what to do about it ...
I do not take advice, my parents constantly talk to me about these unpleasant topics, but nothing changes ... There is no desire to work on myself, why is life so unfair, why is it so? I can't live like this.
I feel like I'm living this life. Every day is groundhog day. At home, relatives are unhappy that I do not communicate with them, I answer questions with on-duty answers, asking the same on-duty questions. Because I just don't know what to say. And I sit at the computer or at the guitar ... Yes, I'm a musician, rhythm guitarist, I sing, I play in a band, I'm studying pediatric medicine. But even music, my favorite thing in life, no longer brings me pleasure ... I play basketball, but because of lethargy I get very dull, constantly, my movements are slow. And after a workout, falling asleep, I can’t relax, all the muscles are in tension, and in the morning - with what fatigue I fell asleep, I woke up with such fatigue ...
This is how I live, with pimples on my face, always lethargic and sleepy, doctors are powerless ... There is a possibility of hypothyroidism, I am waiting for tests, if it is confirmed, I will sit on hormones all my life ... Also, my stomach grows like a truck driver, I can’t get rid of it...
I'm a creative person, but who the hell needs it, no one appreciates me, women don't like me. I don’t see the point of living without a girl, I’m tired of living like this, but at the same time I can’t work on myself ...
Please help me, I'm really on the verge of falling off a cliff... Please(((
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Sergey, age: 03/21/2015

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"No one loves me, no one loves me, I'm going to the swamp - we hire zhabonyat" Hello, Seryoga! Stop whining! You have such a cool manly name, and you dismissed the snot. I would have sent you to the army if it had been 30 years ago. First, stop cursing fate. You don't know what will happen in an hour, let alone what will happen tomorrow. But you must know where you are going, or what you are striving for. Do you have a goal in life? No? So, remember what you wanted before. Afraid to approach a girl, so take it and come. It’s not scary if you get punched in the face for the first time, maybe even get angry with yourself. Take control of your mind and body. Do you play guitar? Wonderful! So you already know what you can teach others. Take up some sport. Harden your spirit through the body. Do not dwell on illnesses and sores. From the fact that you stepped on the throat of your dream once and most likely, you are not doing your job. By the way, I was still unmarried at 21, so "burn the escape plan" and go for it! With respect, Roman.

Remmant, age: 34 / 10.03.2015

Seryozha, you are a musician - this is cool! I am also a musician, just like you))) I understand you, because I am in a similar state. And I can tell you only one thing - water does not flow under a lying stone! In no case do I want to offend you or teach you about life, no. Just understand - everything is in your hands. Life works out / doesn’t work out just because you do something or don’t do it. You have so many qualities, reveal them in yourself! Set a goal for yourself - to become a good musician, and achieve it no matter what! And the girl will definitely appear, believe me))) Cheer up, Seryoga, you can do anything!)

Katya, age: 22 / 10.03.2015

Hi friend! I was very impressed by your letter. Hooked and here I am writing the answer.

You write, then you are "so-and-so, a loser," but what is actually "a Komsomol member, an athlete, an excellent student." But the problem is that you don't have a girlfriend. (You mention it twice!)

Well, you will have a girlfriend, and then what?
Will your acne disappear?
Will you become more attentive to work and study?
Will your basketball moves be fast and accurate?

The cliche about "change yourself" is unlikely to inspire you now, but it will not become less effective from this. As a consolation about the girl, I can say that there are most of them without a girl at the age of 21. You know ... "we choose, we are chosen, as it often does not coincide." And most of the time it doesn't match.

But here I want to offer you a couple of practically feasible ideas:
1. Walk from home to college in a new way.
2. Go to a place where you have not gone anywhere before
3. Try something for the first time. I'm talking about food
4. Talk to a stranger. You can just wish him or her a happy neighbor's day!

And do it all today!

Zhenya, age: 03/28/10/2015

Serezha, what you describe is similar in symptoms to hypothyroidism. It is very good that you are doing the survey. This condition may be associated with a disease. But do not think that it is fatal and incurable. You will take the drugs that the doctor will prescribe, and everything will pass. These are not the hormones that will cause any strong changes in the body. Just get better sleep, mood, cheerfulness will appear, and you will feel fine. What should I do? Someone has one disease, someone else. But you can live with it completely, and you won’t even feel anything if the right course is chosen for you.
As for the girl... You say that girls pay attention to you, but you don't like them. Here, it seems to me, you need to either be patient and wait for the girl of your dreams, or look at spiritual qualities person in the first place. Outer beauty is not always a guarantee that you and a person will feel good and comfortable. beautiful girls a lot of attention. Many want to communicate with them. And girls who are not very beautiful are often very good. Kind, gentle, responsive. Capable of a sacrificial act, of loyalty. To live something, all the same, with a person. Therefore, human qualities are much more important. And you are missing exactly the person next to you who would love you. So, maybe, reconsider your attitude, and pay attention to those who reach out to you, and already among them look for a girlfriend?
You get used to the looks. After a while you stop noticing it. You appreciate in a person the mind, spiritual qualities, the ability to understand, forgive, come to the rescue.
Take, for example, the same music. See photos of famous rock musicians from the 60s, 70s and 80s. Are there any "handsome" among them - even men, even women? No. And we still listen to this music, play it. So it's not just about looks. Look for those who understand you. It seems so to me.

Olya, age: 42 / 03/10/2015

Oh, Seryozha, once I also thought that all my problems were due to the fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend ... But when my personal life improved, I realized that my problems were in my head. Whoever surrounded me, it always seemed to me that I was alone, that no one needed me. How to deal with it? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking action. Start setting goals for yourself and achieving them. Through "I don't want", through laziness, just force yourself. Goals can be set small at first, then bigger. But the main thing is to start acting today. Stop procrastinating things. Good luck!

Alya, age: 25 / 10.03.2015


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How to love yourself

Know how to love yourself

If we want to fill our lives with love, love and be loved, we must also truly love ourselves. We are worthy true love to yourself! We are not the last person in our life to get off with some surrogate of chocolate, massage, expensive toys and other trifles. Self-love is the kind of love in which no one can replace us...

The human mind can deal with anything but a catastrophic mess. No one can lead a completely disorganized life full of chaos. Yes, a teenager's messy room can look pretty chaotic, but the owner made the decisions about it. appearance. He simply chose chaos, and as long as there is a choice, one cannot speak of complete disorganization. But is there any disorganization at all? Is this happening by chance, or does everything have a special, higher meaning? Let's try to understand this difficult issue.

Accidents in life

In fact, life is sometimes filled with accidents, even a separate scientific field is devoted to this. And atoms collide by chance, and random modifications of animals move forward the evolution described by Darwin. Much can happen in nature, it is filled with accidents, which is not easy for a person to realize simply because of the orderliness of his thoughts, although people are sometimes visited by sudden impulses, whims, bouts of emotions. Even a scientist who is busy studying random atoms does not think that he is doing something indefinite. It has a specific goal, a specific meaning, and it moves in its own direction, although from the outside the process may seem quite chaotic and unorganized.

The meaning of accidents

So, how do you break out of this vicious circle of orderly actions and begin to notice meaningful coincidences in randomness? Just think about the expression itself, because meaningful has a purpose, and coincidence is by definition accidental. The truth is that a sense of trust will help you find meaning in the chaotic flow of events around you. Believe that somewhere above in everything that happens there is also a meaning, purpose and direction - somewhere in the mystical sphere, which controls the events of life. This is the meaning of the expression "nothing happens for nothing": the accidents of life are predetermined. However, it is rather difficult to prove this. This idea exists as a common belief, as a postulate of faith or as a dream, and for some - as all of this at once, in various combinations.

How is it really?

Perhaps it is difficult to accept this idea because it is not quite rightly formulated. It would be much more correct to say: "Everything happens for a purpose, despite the fact that it seems otherwise." Life is not limited to these events; it can combine pronounced orderliness with chaotic accidents. Let's go back to teenagers. There is order in his daily trips to school, but there is chaos in his bedroom. Pay attention to the keyword "seems". Everything may seem random, but it's actually not at all. Everything can have a reason, you just don't know it. Einstein may have appeared to be an ordinary clerk at the Swiss patent office, but in fact he was thinking about the most important questions in physics. Creative people seem to be simply distracted, and at this moment they come up with a masterpiece! When a person cannot read, the letters appear to be scattered randomly across the page, while in fact they are arranged in a very specific way. As soon as you realize that at first glance it is impossible to assess the situation, new opportunities will open up for you.

Key Features

Randomness itself can be a misleading term. The great Dutch philosopher Spinoza believed that nothing is accidental in nature. Everything that seems random to us appears to be so only because we do not have enough knowledge to understand the situation. Our perception is the main difficulty on the way to understanding. We look at a chain of unpredictable events and believe that they are random, because we cannot look at what is happening from the other side. If you look at the artist's picture through a magnifying glass, it seems that his brush uses completely different colors, but if you look differently and see the whole picture as a whole, the plot that he paints becomes clear.

How to create your own story?

First of all, understand that it is illogical to expect life events to conform to clear rules, cause and effect do not work here in the usual way. What is happening can be described by mechanical laws, for example, if you kick a ball, it will fly into the air, and if you hit a person, then there will also be a reaction, but not so predictable for you personally. The whole point is that the processing of events in the brain does not imply a direct line of event analysis, it is not a way to connect event A with cause B.

There is a whole cloud of reasons and thoughts in the head, it is not straightforward, it is supplemented by memories, upbringing, habits, mind, emotions, relationships, genetic code and many hidden biological factors. And in this cloud, your brain is looking for a specific solution - a process much more complicated than a clear scientific explanation. So how do you control your own life story? Firstly, we make up our own stories anyway when we can’t explain what is happening, because living in complete uncertainty is uncomfortable. You can control the way you explain to yourself everything that happens around you. This will be your essence and your history.


Unusual Conclusion

After all the previous reflections, one can come to an intriguing conclusion. The history of each person is made up of a combination of accidents and chaos, so maybe reality is always ordered and meaningful, and we determine the volume of ordered events ourselves? Each person decides for himself how to perceive the flow of life events. Everything happens for a reason, if you believe in it, if you find in it hidden meaning. You clear your existence of chaos if you simply believe in order. However, trust is not enough. This is just one necessary part. In addition to trust, you will need the ability to build partnerships with each other and higher powers. This is not about something mystical, but about aspects of your own consciousness. About invisible forces that include creativity, intuition, intentions. Find a balance between yourself and nature, draw on age-old wisdom - and notice that there really is order in everything that surrounds you. Do not put off the search for meaning for a long time - learn to notice a special order in the things around you right now.