Marital etiquette.
Marital etiquette.
Good manners sometimes just give in to the heap of life's difficulties. But the opinion that everyday comfort determines the psychological one may not be the ultimate truth. Without psychological comfort, normal life, normal work of a person is impossible. And this comfort begins in the family, therefore, the observance of family, matrimonial etiquette should occupy one of the most important places in the life of every “cell of society”.
Those who consider themselves homeowners and consider themselves partners of their wives. Therefore, it is normal for a man to just wash the dishes and not ask his wife if she needs help. It is normal for a man to swim towards his children and not wait for his wife's instruction that it is time for the children to end the day.
It's normal for a person looking at a vacuum cleaner to think about something other than their car that they would like to pump out. This normal reality will begin when the woman starts it. The only female duty at home. So, the only obligation of a woman at home is to allow her husband to be a complete person living in the same house, and to do a lot of good things in these houses.
There is a common misconception among men that gallantry towards one's own wife can be regarded as a weakness of a henpecked man. As a result of this, a situation often arises in which the husband is too polite towards all the women he knows, with the exception of his wife, but it is precisely in relation to the closest person that we recognize the true man. In addition, a respectful attitude to the wife is also a tribute to oneself, because the wife is “half of the husband”.
When a woman goes to work, she loses the title of queen at home. And the husband loses the opportunity to be a guest at home. Women, boldly allow people to remain dissatisfied with the changes. Just think: after all, treatment has a price. Your happiness is worth it too. And it's always worth paying the price. During a meeting with men and women, a young man asked me: What are the duties of a man at home?
My answer was short: you live in your own house and ask me what you need to do in them? Dear women, love yourself, don't think, don't understand and don't do it with men. These are large, powerful, equal and full-fledged inhabitants of this earth, having arms and legs, mind, mind and many different abilities.
The "indisputable" duties of a husband, which can be equated with the obligatory regalia of diplomatic or court etiquette, include:
1. to give a coat to his wife, both at home and in a public place.
2. Do not read at the dinner table.
3. even if he is against kissing a woman's hand, sometimes you can and even need to kiss your wife's hand.
4. at the evening, the first dance is to dance with my wife.
5. Compliment your wife: always notice your wife's new dress, say something nice about it.
6. always let the wife pass first, passing through the door; give her small gifts even for no reason, from time to time, buying flowers.
7. in her presence, do not look back after other women.
8. do not use the argument "I earn and demand."
9. do not walk around the apartment half-dressed.
10. Leaving the house during non-working hours, inform the wife about the purpose of leaving and the time of return.
compliment the dinner.
11. sometimes take an interest in what his wife was doing while he was not at home.
in general to talk with his wife, and not be limited only to a "business" conversation.
If your husband can play computer games, his fine motorcycle will surely be able to fit forks in boxes. Let us not think that such work is carried out at home only by women and children. Men grow up in the men's ranks, not in the women's and children's ranks. But that's another topic for another occasion.
The social activity of women in practice is an attempt to compensate for the lack of love. It is more useful for women to find a job that will allow them to take a break from family responsibilities, expand a positive social circle, this should be work for the soul.
Criticism in the family.
There are types of critical husbands. They show their "attention" to their wife, tirelessly criticizing her appearance, dress, character traits, friends, tastes, method of raising children. Living with such a spouse is not very fun. The husband must be aware that sooner or later this kind and volume of criticism cools the feelings of a woman in love.
Distraction and satisfaction are completely incompatible things. Distraction causes tension both in the body and in the body and in emotional state. Due to disturbances, the nervous and hormonal systems are affected. If a person develops and develops in overcoming the difficulties of competition, when communicating with those who find it difficult to communicate, it is not profitable for a woman to find a place outside the comfort zone where there is no love. He wastes her mental energy. When a woman interacts with lovers, her feminine power grows.
One of the biggest mistakes women make is to do what they don't like. Why? In this case, the woman is forced to face difficulties. Even if it is women's work, but it takes a lot of time, it is a waste of energy. If a woman does not like work, if she rapes her every morning, then this means that she is losing her femininity.
Less often, but there are wives-critics. Therefore, some tactical advice for such a wife:
1. when choosing toilets, take into account the tastes of your husband, and not just your own and friends.
more often cook what your husband loves.
2. do not use his “sacred items”: do not take an electric razor without permission, do not clean up his drawer, do not rummage through his briefcase.
3. Without batting an eye, listen to his stories in society, even if they have all been known to her for a long time. Don't interrupt your husband. Telling a joke, with the words "Everyone knows him!". Do not question his competence in the subject of conversation.
4. Do not criticize him in front of children.
not closely control, because control loved one is especially offensive.
5. not object to his natural attachment to his mother.
6. give him a compliment sometimes, listen to his advice.
7. do not invite guests whom he does not like, and do not accept invitations that will be unpleasant to him.
8. It is better for a woman who has married a second time not to recall aloud the merits of her first husband.
The woman collects the energy emanating from the earth. She is dressed in skirts and skirts. If a woman wears trousers, the energy of the earth, which ensures fertility, simply dissipates. Women suffer if a woman has a limited, poor, or unwanted wardrobe, old furniture, wrapped wallpaper, and the like. Here you can mention the closet where a woman keeps her entire wardrobe. Wardrobe for men means nothing, but for women it is the whole world.
In the hair, like a battery, a woman accumulates mental energy. Therefore, it is useful to take care of the hair. Short, boyish hairstyles do not add femininity. Of course, they are practical, but practicality is a word from the male vocabulary. Every woman knows how much he or she can improve their mood by choosing the right jewelry, no matter how bright the jewelry.
Commandments for spouses.
In his bestselling book How to Win Friends and Influence People, American writer Dale Carnegie pays special attention to marital etiquette. An entire chapter is devoted to this issue.
It is based on six rules:
1. No need to quibble
2. Don't try to change your spouse
3. Don't criticize
4. Express your sincere gratitude to each other
5. Give each other small courtesies.
6. Be proactive
A woman often experiences events with her body, sensations in her body. A temporary body does not add happiness. The duty of a holy woman is to take care of her body. If environment women or she forbids her to appear through emotions, this can result in depression. Sometimes women think that they are only entitled to have positive emotions. But this is not the case, people are not robots.
Well, if there is a man next to a woman with whom she can express any of her emotions. Men often provoke hysteria when they don't listen to what a woman has to say and don't allow her to express her emotions until they've reached the breaking point. It is important for a woman to have a heartfelt pursuit, which may not even bring money, it will bring emotional satisfaction. It is all right if the husband supports the woman in her hobbies and allows her to give them time.
With a protracted conflict or often repeated quarrels, each of the parties needs to think about their own behavior. After all, as a rule, in a quarrel in fact we are talking not about a broken plate. A person who is a constant initiator of quarrels, after introspection, often comes to the conclusion that "his nerves are good for nothing." It often happens that it is possible to realize true reason nervousness, and life is getting better. Worth a try.
Women's nature is to improve space, create comfort and comfort. Flowers, vases, curtains, paintings - all this creates a unique atmosphere of the interior. It is very good when a woman has a place where a creative start can begin. A woman can lead a woman very well, but she'd better not do it. External problems are solved by a person. For example, a woman asked herself to get a loan and then she would be crazy about how to pay it back. Such problems are solved only by men, and women are better off not knowing about it at all.
Home care for a woman is not a burden. On the contrary, they help her to develop, allowing her to feel the desire to care for others. Of course, she sometimes needs help from her husband. But if a woman transfers all the work home home - this is a big mistake. At the very least, homemade food is a great women's practice.
In the case of endless and without apparent cause of quarrels that arise between spouses, a drastic measure sometimes comes into play the proposal of a divorce. But it should be used only in extreme cases. By following certain rules in discussions, disaster can be avoided. Here are some of them.
You should never make your claims in an ironic tone such a tone offends and causes instinctive protest. Almost everything you would like to say can be said in a cordial tone, businesslike, polite and calm. This is the only true tone in the family, because we speak in order to get a response. An aggressive tone, the intonation of an order, is completely non-contact. Capricious intonations, irony and sarcasm are poorly perceived. Frank compassion does not justify itself, even if there really is something to pity a person for.
Conflict female nature is rough. This is especially true for communication with men. Wise women know that reconciliation can be extracted from people incomparably more. The female nature dies in competition. There is no need to fight, to prove it, all this contributes to the female energy.
Independence, strength, strict control, perseverance in achieving your goals. The principle “I will do my best to humble myself and ask”, or when a woman in any situation thinks: “I can become better, faster and better.” All this is a manifestation of manifestations of pride and excitement that suppress the energy of a woman.
You should also avoid omissions that make it difficult to understand. It is better not to tire loved ones with constant remarks. A remark about something is worth making once and then in a friendly tone. Repeating it, and especially louder than before, does not bring success: it is unlikely that the partner does not remember the remark, if he does not react, it means either he does not want to or cannot, and nothing can be done about it.
A wise woman is content with what she has. And the state of satisfaction with life gives a woman even more prosperity. This is the result of psychological well-being. When a woman joins the objects of satisfaction and begins to suffer, whether they are lost or not, they develop defective thinking, which in turn leads to negative feelings such as jealousy, irritation, anger. All this leads to the female psyche.
Sometimes these feelings encourage a woman to strive for some result, and she herself will earn. But she lacks happiness when she gives her money. She is more pleased when a man does it. The stereotypical life is based on the principle of "do everything", "how you learned", "how to do it" - killing the woman in the woman. A woman adds her love to everything she does. And love is a spontaneous feeling.
In a dispute between two, the opinion of third parties should never come up. A completely calm and friendly conversation between spouses often turns into a scandal as soon as one of its participants refers to the opinion of his mother or someone else. Generalizations such as "You always" should be avoided in family discussions. You need to talk about a certain fact or case, and only about them.
Complaints are always an attempt to avoid responsibility. It's easy to put the blame on someone else, to blame someone else for their problems. Of course, it is typical and helpful for women to talk about how they feel and ask for help. However, the difference between a petition and a complaint lies in one nuance: a woman talks to her husband, and does not build him up against this fact.
Men's activity contributes to the struggle of women and their ability to compete, while the nature of women lies in cooperation and care. These are women who need close contact with a woman. Time for yourself and your own trinkets. A woman must definitely spend time on her "nicknames". And sometimes not only time, but also money.
Claims kill love. Therefore, they should be used as little as possible. The instinctive reaction of the person to whom we make claims is the desire to isolate ourselves from us. Repeating them often can really lead to a break. Close people can be forgiven for their oddities or non-compliance with any rules, because we are all not without flaws. The foregoing does not at all mean a call for slavish forgiveness. Demanding a lot from himself, a person has the right to expect the same from loved ones. But for such a requirement, one must always find the appropriate form and time.
Complete sleep deprivation, when a woman lies late, wakes up late, and so on. There is a story about how the wife and lover of the same husband met. They started discussing him and his wife said. He is a fool, a trick and a mockery. You are not mistaken - the hostess answers. - He is generous and wise and courageous.
Well no, no. The wife is outraged. - He does not even give me flowers during the holidays and does not give me a salary. Stop it. - objected the hostess. He is smart and always very interesting to talk to. He is cautious, he knows a lot, he has an opinion about everything. You are wise. - He seduced his wife. - he constantly pounces on some kind of stupidity, even listen to unpleasant ones.
"Short circuits" in the family cannot be avoided. It is important that they are really short. You should apologize as soon as possible and restore normal relations. After reconciliation, the cause of the quarrel and the quarrel itself must be completely forgotten. Of course, there are situations when it is necessary, having reconciled, to clarify separate mutual positions, but, if possible, this should be avoided. It is best to extinguish the quarrel and not fan the ashes.
We're talking about two different men. smiled my lover. Three days ago, he was intimidated by a guy who offended me. Never let anything wear heavier than a flower bouquet. Because with one of them a person behaves in such a way that he looks like a thief, and with the other - an enemy.
This story shows how much women influence men. One and the same person can differ radically, depending on the woman living with him. In contrast, successful people, leaving their first wife for a young beauty, lost everything they had, and after a few years became lousy lousy. Because women are very strong. In fact, a woman "creates" a man, he reveals some of his qualities, and someone neutralizes him. This is usually done unconsciously, using innate scripts and experiences from the family.
You should not convict a loved one of an imaginary lie, catch him on something, strive to comprehend "the whole truth." Sometimes such a truth can come as an unpleasant surprise for us, the partner prefers not to talk about it, and “pressed against the wall” sometimes blurts out what he thought “to himself”. Good family manners require that every partner's statement be taken on faith. Of course, the implementation of all the above tips is a very difficult task. But they can really help to get around, if not all, then many reefs in the stormy sea of married life.
If the father succeeded, then the woman would unconsciously help her husband succeed, and if the father were a failure or a drunkard, then this picture of the subconscious would lead the whole family to collapse. The problem is that women do not realize their power and do not pay enough attention to their thoughts and actions. Do not understand your ability to influence a person. If they knew that they were born with a magic wand, it would hardly be desirable to make it empty and order all kinds of things, not miracles.
Let's look at what a wife can do with her husband, how this can affect his character and behavior. Let's start with the influence of the negative wife. What the wife thinks of a man, so he becomes. If you only see imperfections in it, they will begin to grow within days and hours, not days. And even then, a person who has great potential and can become an excellent spouse becomes the easiest loser.
Answers (11):
In our family, my husband vacuums, takes out the trash, and also collects cobwebs everywhere, because he is tall and his height allows him to do this without straining. In addition, from birth he bathes his daughter himself, and walks with her.
Do not argue or negotiate ahead of time. Along the way, it will be clear what to entrust him with. Perhaps he himself will want to help you, as often happens. It's better to ask for something to be done than to impose responsibilities.
I instruct my husband to take out the trash, wash the dishes, vacuum. More. if you really need it, he irons my clothes very well. Sometimes he even cooks dinner, though rarely. I would like to do it more often)) And in the common entrance we also clean up together - he sweeps, and I wash the floors.
I entrust my husband with housework on occasion. He often takes out the trash, can wash the dishes or cook a meal. I don’t really load it, since I’m at home with a child, and everything else is on it. But he always helps with his son.
It all depends on each individual man. Someone cooks with pleasure and tasty, I know examples of families where only a man irons. You can instruct to vacuum, then anyone should do it.
I am for a man to cook. Normal daily duty. I think if he doesn’t know how to cook, then the first month life together devote to teaching him how to do it. Then life will get better.
At a minimum, clean up after yourself (including washing your dishes, wiping your desk, washing your shoes) and taking out the trash. You can also hang laundry on it, if you have a washing machine - you don’t need a lot of brains for this. My husband and I were lucky, his mother always left her sons to themselves and they did almost everything around the house themselves. Therefore, now he sometimes “takes away” household duties from me in the literal sense, although I am of the same conviction that this is exclusively women's work.
I would not charge anything, but simply asked to do something, as if in between times. The husband has to do repairs, fix something if it breaks. You can ask to throw out the garbage somewhere along the way. My husband still, for example, washes his plate after eating, and I don’t ask him to do it, he’s just so used to it.
Yes, in principle, anything that he likes more. I strongly disagree with the fact that the husband should only repair if something breaks. Usually this "if" rarely happens, and it turns out that the wife is still plowing at home after work, and the husband is lying on the couch and is just waiting to be served. If he can cook, let him cook. And if not - cleaning, that is, washing floors, vacuuming, washing dishes. You can take turns, or you can assign individual responsibilities to each.
