The main mistake is that we, women, tend to speculate, draw on what is not there and wishful thinking.
That is why our hopes are often not justified, we ourselves become attached to someone who has not entered into a relationship with us, we experience pain, weep, and then for years we move away and recover.
Fear of loneliness makes us enter into unpromising relationships in advance. We always feel what kind of man this is and whether he suits us, but we hope that we will change and remake him. You should not base your life on illusions, disappointments are inevitable, because illusions end and people do not change.
Why do women think and draw, instead of finding out information that is not enough, talking, finding out what you want to know. Many people are afraid to do it. Afraid to "spook". They go on dates, enter into relationships ... And when to talk about the main thing, if not at the beginning?
If a man says that he is not ready for a serious relationship, you should not think that he is shy or modest, he is simply not in love and does not take you seriously. Interest in a woman, as a chosen one, a man arises immediately, and usually he does not change his mind.
You don’t need to guess your context, if a man says that he doesn’t want to marry, then he doesn’t want to marry EXACTLY YOU. What do we think? "I'll try and he wants."
If he does not call, then he does not care about you, and not because he is busy or there is no way to call.
“If he doesn’t call, you just need to stop thinking about him. That's all you have to do. It's that simple." J. Berg.
He doesn’t introduce you to friends, to his parents, which means he doesn’t take you seriously.
Or a man disappears, does not appear for weeks, practically does not show any initiative to develop relations, and we sit and wait, “something must have happened to him, now he will sort things out and everything will work out.” Will it get better?
Of course not.
If the initiative comes only from you, then this means that the relationship has no prospects and will not. And don't wait.
If he cancels meetings, is busy all the time, you rarely see each other, then he is not interested in you. Do not justify it and mislead yourself.
Sometimes a man can directly say: "Find yourself another, I'm not worthy of you." And what? The woman immediately begins to think that she is too good for him, and he feels insecure. No, he feels that you are not suitable for him or he has another woman, he just does not know how to tell you this softly.
Sexual relations also do not mean that everything is serious with you. Especially if sex is at the core of your relationship.
As I already wrote: You need to very clearly share the male passion and desire to be with you. A woman always confuses these two things. And if a man wants you, it does not mean that the man is in love. Take your time with intimacy, give yourself and the man time to understand if he has an interest in you other than sex?
If you have been talking for a long time, and a man does not tell you about his feelings, words of love, this means that he has no love for you, and not because he is afraid to confess and cannot find words.
Don't make up feelings that don't exist. After all, then you yourself begin to believe in it, make plans for life together, and the man does not even know about it, he just spends time. When fruitless hopes collapse, it always hurts.
It is also important to be honest with yourself about the following questions:
- What place do I occupy in this man's life?
- Is this really a serious relationship?
- Or did I make them up myself?
And pay attention to whether you are serious about your relationship? Does the man talk about the future? Do you feel warmth, or some distance and cold?
Relationships need to develop. if they develop sluggishly or froze, it means that the man, unfortunately, does not take you seriously. You don't need to justify it.
And if you understand, feel that a man does not love you, you don’t need to try to earn his love, beg, demand, trying hard to do something so that the relationship moves forward. And even if a man marries (this also happens), nothing good will come of it. He will still go to his beloved woman sooner or later.
If you have recently met a man, give up naivety, try to hear what your partner says to you, and not what you want to hear.
Men ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH. Only women prefer not to hear it.
Enter into a relationship without illusions and fantasies. Why invent something for yourself?
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Tatyana Dzutseva
Somehow I found this thing on the Internet, now I use it:
- Grandma, how can I understand that I fell in love?
- Very simple, granddaughter. Do you remember how you met?
- Of course, grandma. I remember not only our acquaintance,
but also every meeting: how we smiled at each other for the first time,
the first time they held hands, the first time they kissed. You know, grandma
I even remember everything, everything, everything I told him about; what jokes she laughed at; how she prepared for each date; what she was wearing to please him.
Is this love, grandma?
- No, granddaughter. Love is when you remember what he was wearing on dates.
And if you remember yourself - this is love. Put the dolls in the box, granddaughter.
Grandma, tell me when is the time to part?
Maybe it's better to leave after the first night, while there are no unfulfilled hopes,
without waiting for a showdown, leaving only an embarrassed pleasant memory?
Or after many, many nights, when everything will quietly disappear by itself,
it is not known where and why; calm "ecological" parting, without the pain of something torn, without tears and screams?
- Everything is very simple, granddaughter.
You don't have to leave after a certain number of nights,
and after the first morning, when you don't want to get up early
and cook breakfast for him. Give him tea then, kiss him goodbye and close the door.
Grandma, I still dream of him ...
- Granddaughter, remember last year's snow.
What's with last year's snow? I wanted to ask you for advice
not talk about the weather.
- And I already gave it to you, granddaughter.
If it still hurts, if you haven’t completely forgotten it yet, if you are still trembling inside, then mentally say to yourself: “Last year’s snow.” And treat what you had the same way. Can't keep a snowflake in summer
granddaughter, - the time comes for her to melt.
And although it’s hard for you to believe it now, new snow will definitely fall. Just trust the time and wait for it, the new, fresh, clean, first snowfall. But if you still yearn for what has passed, repeat to yourself: "last year's snow, last year's snow, last year's snow."
- Grandma, I will fight for my love.
I won't just give it away. I won't give up, I won't give up without a fight!
- Granddaughter, do you know such a favorite game of school entertainers,
when you have to run around chairs, which are obviously one less than those who play; and when the music ends, have time to take the chair first? Granddaughter, this is the game you play when you try to “fight”.
Why run together, or even three around one chair,
trying to outwit rivals and take him first, making others laugh,
angry and nervous? Look around - there are many other unoccupied chairs near the wall. You are already an adult, granddaughter, it's time to stop playing children's games.
- Grandma, why is it hurting me so much?
I'm jealous of literally anything he says female name.
When he doesn't pick up the phone, I immediately imagine
that he is with another. When he talks about some woman
I immediately begin to think "was it?". Jealous of the "former", to friends,
colleagues at work, to random strangers. How to stop torturing yourself, grandma?
- Granddaughter, jealousy is a deceptive feeling. You're not jealous, you're afraid of losing. But don't be afraid, granddaughter, it's pointless. Because if there is no reason for jealousy, then it is stupid to be jealous, and when there is already a reason, it is too late.
- All men are the same! Grandma, he only has to say hello to me for the first time,
and I already know how he will behave further, what jokes to tell, how to smile,
how to touch, how to quarrel and leave.
You are wrong, granddaughter. All men are different.
We just like similar men. Do you like modest, “homemade” ones?
Then why are you complaining that you again got a bore who does not want to leave the house anywhere?
If you choose a man "the soul of the company", then do not be surprised
that you will have to share it with friends, and, often, parallel girlfriends.
If you love romantics, then be prepared not only for candles, poems and champagne,
but also to periodic depressions and disappearances, which he will explain
"creative crises"
You choose a man behind whom you can be "like behind a stone wall" -
Don't be surprised if you can't find a door to freedom within these walls.
Women choose similar men, and then they are surprised that they are all the same.
- Grandma, I don't know how to tell him not to hurt him.
He did not deserve the banal "let's be friends."
He's good, and I'll have to deal with him cruelly.
What should I do, grandmother, how can I tell him that it's over between us?
- Granddaughter, remember: in the last phrase that you say to a man when parting,
he must hear not only the inevitable cruelty,
but also gratitude for all the good things that you had.
After all, when he remembers you, he will inevitably
will remember your parting. And if you want
so that when he remembers you, his eyes smile,
do not sort things out when you say goodbye.
Tell him only one thing: "I no longer need your presence to love you." And that's it, go away.
Grandma, I don't know if I should tell him everything.
It seems that there was nothing like that, but what if he finds out?
And I don’t seem to have anything to admit, but I can’t tell either.
And how can I demand from him to be honest with me,
if I myself begin to hide something and keep back?
- Granddaughter, remember three simple rules.
First: never, under any circumstances, deceive him.
Second: Never, under any circumstances, cheat on him.
And the third: if you have already deceived and changed, then never,
Under no circumstances should you tell him about it.
Just remember, granddaughter, no matter how you want,
but the last rule follows only the first two.
- Grandma, I don’t understand what’s going on: he suddenly just disappeared somewhere.
Everything was fine, and then so suddenly, without explanation, he simply disappeared.
I don’t see him anymore, the phone is silent, and even by chance we don’t see each other anymore.
Maybe something happened? Or did I offend him by accident?
Maybe you should call and talk, find out what's going on?
- Granddaughter, it's not worth it, believe me.
After all, you yourself know the answer, but you don’t want to admit it to yourself.
He doesn't call because he doesn't want to - it's very simple.
Remember, granddaughter, as long as a man is interested in a woman,
it won't disappear. He will cut off the phone, guard at the entrance,
organize random meetings. And no reason, even the most compelling,
will not cause him not to be around if he wants it.
And if you do not want to make him lie in response to your question about
“why did he disappear from your life” about being busy or a lot of work,
it's better not to ask.
And if you are not looking for an extra reason to hurt yourself even more after hearing the truth,
don't ask either. You already know the answer.
The age-old problem of misunderstanding overtakes representatives of both sexes at any stage of the relationship and affects many aspects. Most often, claims arise from feminine hand due to the lack of communication with a lover, this applies to telephone conversations and other means of communication.
Probably every girl knows the feeling of expectation, the hope that the guy is about to write or call. And when this does not happen, resentment, disappointment, annoyance sets in. The girl immediately begins to come up with numerous reasons for the lack of calls, up to the most ridiculous ones. But in fact, everything is simple and clear. Women and men think completely differently, so when the former complicate everything, the latter treat the situation more loyally.
Why doesn't the man call or write?
Let’s take a look at the top 10 reasons why this happens:
How should a woman act?
If you liked a man, you exchanged phone numbers, but a couple of days pass, and there is no call or message from him, remind yourself of yourself. There's nothing wrong with asking him how he's doing.
A little determination will save you from wasting time on painful waiting. In the worst case, he will say that he does not want to continue communication. At best, he will be delighted and explain the reason for his silence. The stronger sex also needs attention and the young man will be pleased that the girl herself called him.
If the reason why he did not call is insignificant, you should draw a conclusion about his attitude towards girls and specifically you. 
Learn to analyze the situation. Already on you can see some pronounced character traits. Your man may be one of those who immerse themselves in work or hobbies with fanaticism, forgetting to eat and even more so to call someone. Here the reason lies in his character, in his personality, and you have only one thing left: to accept him as he is or not to accept him.
Think back to your last meeting. How well did she go? It is possible that something in you pushed him away or he did not take this meeting as seriously as you. Women tend to idealize a partner, fantasize, dream. In order to understand how he treats you, you need to be able to separate your fantasies from reality and be able to look at your partner and his attitude towards you with a critical eye.
How many times in your life have you been waiting with trepidation for a call from your beloved guy, but the phone was silent, as if bewitched? When you communicate with your loved one for a long time, you want to believe that this connection will never be interrupted and you will always be together. But suddenly the guy just disappears from sight and you stop to understand what is happening. Pride suggests that he simply lost interest in you and should not suffer in vain, but a quiet voice of hope whispers that he may have a serious reason for such silence. What should girls do if the guys don’t call, don’t write - try to restore relationships or forget about the failed romance?
First of all, it is worth saying that the reasons for such behavior on the part of a guy can be different. Perhaps he would be happy to call, but circumstances do not allow him to contact you and ask for a meeting. But it may also be that the guy really doesn’t want to communicate with you anymore, which is why he stopped making phone calls and writing sms. In order to understand how to act in such a situation, you need to find out two things:
- What is the real reason for your young man's silence;
- Do you need this guy and are you going to fight for your feelings.
If you answer yes to the last point, then you need to urgently find out the reason for his sudden disappearance from your life. We present to your attention some of the most common reasons why guys do not call or write to their girls.
Top Reasons Guys Don't Call or Text
- The guy is in serious trouble.
This is a rather comforting version that is able to preserve the girl's pride. Indeed, anything can happen: he could get sick, go on an urgent business trip, go to the funeral of his great-aunt, finally. Not all men bother to warn girls about their sudden disappearance, especially if they are not too much in love. Perhaps they don’t even think that someone is worried and waiting for a call. But if a man loves, then regardless of the importance of the reasons, he will find a couple of minutes to call his girlfriend and warn that he will not be able to get in touch for several days.
- The guy lost your phone number
This happens, especially at the very beginning of a relationship. If you do not have a common circle of acquaintances in which you can restore each other's contacts, then this reason is quite real. The guy could accidentally erase the notebook in the mobile, lose or break the phone itself. But if he is seriously interested in you, he will certainly find a way to contact you.
- The guy is an adventurer
It is possible that your boyfriend dated you in order to add to the list of his sexual victories. You could be fun and interesting with each other, he could "show" his feelings and show sincere interest. But all this was done in order to persuade you to intimacy.
It does not matter that you have met many times - the rule of "eight dates", after which a girl can agree to have sex, has not yet been canceled. What if those eight dates ended and you never crossed the line? Then the guy could decide that he had nothing to “catch” with you, and go on a further search for his “victim”. In this case, you should sincerely thank him for the fact that he stopped calling and writing.
- The guy was possessed not by passion, but by politeness
Sometimes it happens that guys, afraid of offending a girl, continue to meet with her, although they are not particularly interested. you could spend together free time, hanging out with friends and going to the movies, but that might mean nothing to him. In such situations, guys are purely friendly with girls and do not feel responsible for their feelings.
- The guy is offended by you and does not want to show signs of attention
Although, to be honest, the word "offended" does not quite fit the definition internal state men. Here it would be more correct to say “angry”, because this is how guys react to important events in their lives. The fault may be your own behavior, his jealousy, or someone else's negative words about you. Either way, he pouts and punishes you with his silence. What can you say? If his feelings are strong, then he will definitely call to dot the i's.
- The guy just lost interest in you
Unfortunately, this is the most common cause sudden silence of young people. Perhaps at first he was interested in you and he was going to build a serious relationship, but then something went wrong. If you didn’t manage to “hook” him for real, then he could get bored with the relationship. Guys are decisive people, they can easily change their mind about dating you without any serious reasons. Because the lack of desire to see you every day is the main reason for such a separation.
- The guy got another girl
It is likely that you have a rival that your boyfriend is ready to devote all his free time to. And while you look with dreary expectation at mobile phone, he enjoys the company of a completely different girl, completely forgetting about you and your feelings. Not the most pleasant reason, but you shouldn’t exclude it either: if married men tend to go "to the left", then young guys do not at all consider themselves obliged to be faithful. Especially if they do not love the girl with all their heart and soul.
There can be many more reasons why guys don't call or write. But all of them are more or less divided into two categories: when there is hope for the restoration of relations and when it is not. You can spend hours wondering what happened to your boyfriend, or you can ask him directly about it. True, in this case, you will have to call him first, and this does not always work in favor of the girl. So what to do if the guy suddenly disappeared from your life: sit back and continue to wait for the call, or take action to clarify the situation?
What to do if the guy disappeared from view
If the guy does not contact you for only a couple of days, then give yourself time to just wait. For such a short time, you don't have to worry that his feelings have faded or that he has found himself another girl. It’s worth worrying when he hasn’t called for a week, although he couldn’t live a day before without communicating with you. Now you should find out the reason why he suddenly fell silent, but this can be difficult to do. So, what can a girl do in such a situation?
- The easiest solution is to find out the reason from him personally
Although this method looks simple only from the outside. Not all men welcome women who themselves take the initiative in relationships. You are lucky if the reason for his silence is in some force majeure circumstances, then he will gladly accept your decision to call or write to him first. But if he stopped loving you, found another girlfriend, or considered you unworthy of his society, then your call will turn into real torture.
On one side of the scale - a sense of embarrassment and shame, on the other - the opportunity to end the unknown and find out the relationship to the end. And if waiting for news from him is already unbearable, then it is better to discard false shame and call him first.
- You can find out from mutual friends about whether trouble happened to your boyfriend
If friends see him in full health, then the cause of an accident or serious illness is swept aside automatically. Another way to find out if something terrible happened to your boyfriend is to follow his appearances on social networks. Sometimes the status under a photo can say more about his attitude towards you than a thousand words. “In a free search”, “Looking for a new love” is one thing, but “Busy, working”, “I will be back in town soon” is quite another.
- If, despite everything, it was not possible to find out the reason for his silence, then you should not send him angry sms and offensive words by e-mail
If there is a good reason for not calling, then building further trust will be much more difficult (if not impossible). If he really fell out of love with you or something like that, then your nervous messages will also not do you credit. He will simply conclude that he made the right decision by parting with you, and pangs of conscience are unlikely to visit him.
- A very good way to make contact is to send him a short message: “You haven’t called for a long time, I’m worried about you.”
You can regard these words as you like - from the manifestation of strong feelings, to simple friendly participation. In any case, the guy will be touched by your attention and will definitely answer your sms.
- Don't prepare for a fight by waiting for your boyfriend to call.
Like, just call me, I'll arrange this for your silence! Perhaps nothing terrible has happened in your relationship, and there is absolutely no need to show aggression.
Do not forget that psychologically, men are arranged a little differently than we women. Sometimes they do not call or write for several days for absolutely no reason. For them, it may be completely normal if, after being absent for several days in the city, they do not notify their beloved about this. According to their logic, if he went on a business trip and behaves decently at the same time, without cheating on his soulmate, then there is no point in talking about his departure. Why, because everything is so normal? And only we, poor women, do not find a place for ourselves from experiences, thinking in advance of the reasons for the "future separation."
Find the strength in yourself to respond calmly at the moment when the man nevertheless gets in touch. You should not start a conversation with screams and accusations, it is better to listen to the reason for his prolonged silence. If his explanations satisfied you, then try to convey to him a simple idea: for a woman, the unknown is the lack of reinforcement of intentions. No matter how much a man is sure of your feelings, he must understand that concern for the integrity of relationships is in the blood of every woman. This means that what you suffered and experienced during his absence from your life should not happen again.
If the guy decided to break up with you, then just let him go in peace. You know, fate is a very tricky thing, it allocates roles with particular accuracy. different people in our life. And the fact that the young man left you is perhaps just a gift of fate. Because it gives you a chance to find your true happiness and true love.
