I think for most people the need to start a conversation with a stranger is a difficult task, for someone it may even cause or desire to somehow ignore this need. Difficulties in communication arise mainly due to their own, self-doubt,. Think about this: you have friends and acquaintances who love and appreciate you very much - would they communicate with you if you were an uninteresting person? Of course not! And this means that everything is in order with the internal content, it remains only to develop skills. Where else to start, if not from the first conversation?

How to start a conversation with a stranger

I will not divide our general case - the first conversation with a stranger - into specific ones (it is a girl or a man, a colleague or fellow traveler on a train, etc.), because the basics are the same for everyone. We are all people and we all obey the same psychological laws, rarely someone gets out of communicative equality. Therefore, I propose to answer not the question “with whom?”, but the question “how” to start a conversation. And, by the way, about questions - you probably know that they are divided into closed and open. A closed question implies a monosyllabic answer: “no”, “yes”, “maybe”, etc., which, you see, does not have much to start an exciting conversation. If you start a conversation, then the control of its flow is in your hands, and the flow is determined by the type of questions you choose.

It is much easier to get a reaction, to engage a person in a conversation, if you do not limit him to the limits of “yes” and “no” answers and provide the opportunity to answer in as much detail as he wants. Let's agree - no more closed questions, except perhaps at the very beginning of the meeting: "Is this place not taken?", "Can I join you?", "Are you waiting for someone?" and so on. Well, then - only open-ended questions that begin with the words:

• When.
• How many.
• Why.
• Which.

By asking open-ended questions, you will be able to talk even the most silent and closed at first glance interlocutor. Now let's look at the closed questions:

• They don't have a question word.
• The particle "li" is used.

By asking questions like these, you force yourself to puff yourself up further, coming up with more and more new questions, because in response you will receive only “yes”, “probably”, “yeah” or “and you?”. Then you, too, will answer in monosyllables and, most likely, turn away, admitting defeat. But we do not need this, we are learning how to start a conversation with any person, and here is the main rule - ask questions that a person is interested in answering. Not only those to which you are interested in getting an answer, but those that will make the interlocutor respond with pleasure. According to Dale Carnegie, every person thinks only about himself, his problems and how he looks in the eyes of others. Therefore, you need to ask about the person himself, be interested in his opinion - this is how your interest will make him and bring him - the conversation will not only begin, but will continue in a pleasant way.

Sample questions to start a conversation:

• Do you think the musicians played well today?
• What is this interesting thing in your hands?
• Where did you study?
• How often do you come here?
• How long did it take you to get here?
• Etc. and so on.

With the help of open questions, it is much easier to start a conversation than using closed ones - a person is immediately involved and now two people are “pulling” the conversation, and not you alone. In addition, the awkwardness of the first minutes will help just open questions.

How else to start a conversation

A fail-safe way is to compliment the person and, again, supplement it with an open question. Absolutely everyone loves praise and recognition of their own merits by others - men, women, children, adolescents. Therefore, a compliment is the perfect conversation starter. For example: “This stole suits you so much! Very elegant. Where did you buy it?" Also: “I saw how you skillfully parked in such a difficult place. How long have you been driving a car? You can compliment anything, however, a man will not be so happy with the praise of his appearance as with the recognition of his outstanding skills, knowledge, skills, etc. And the most pleasant thing for a girl is to hear flattering words about her appearance, sense of style or talents (from a beautiful walk to singing).

Whether you are the host or the guest, there are many situations in society in which you need to start communicating, even if you do not know how to start communication. For example, you want your friend's new girlfriend to feel comfortable in your company. Or you see a stranger or a stranger in a crowded room and realize that this is your only chance to impress Mr. or Miss Charming. But you also realize that you don't know what to say to him or her.

• First of all, say "Hi!", then introduce yourself and ask for the name of your new contact. After he/she answers you, extend your hand for a shake. (If you are in another country, greet the person according to the cultural characteristics of that country.) If you know this person, skip this step and go straight to the next one.
• Look around. See if there is anything worth talking about around you. Of course, talking about the weather is hackneyed and unoriginal, but there is nothing unnatural in it, and such a conversation can push you to other topics.
• Give a compliment. Do not lie, saying, for example, that you like the hairstyle of the interlocutor / interlocutor, if, in fact, you think it is terrible. But if you like his/her shoes or handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a great way to win someone over. But be careful and try not to say something too personal, which can scare the interlocutor / interlocutor or make you feel out of place. It is best not to compliment the appearance and figure of a person.
• Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves, so give them that opportunity. "What classes are you attending this year?" “Did you see … (insert something instead of an ellipsis)? What do you think about it?" Ask questions easily and unobtrusively. Don't ask too many questions if you see that he/she is not in the mood to answer them.
• Support whatever topic he/she might suggest. Follow up on what was said to him/her. Agree, disagree, ask about it or give your opinion, but don't let his/her words go unanswered.
• Look into the eyes of your new friend, it breeds trust (but don't stare). During the conversation, address the person by name a couple of times. This will help you remember the name and draw the attention of the interlocutor / interlocutor to what you are talking about.
• Don't forget to smile and enjoy the conversation!

• Just relax. In all likelihood, what will be said in this short conversation will not be remembered by your interlocutor / interlocutor for several months. Just say what comes to your mind, the main thing is that it is not offensive or strange (at least until your interlocutor / interlocutor starts talking about something in the same vein).
• Remember that your thoughts should be related to what you are talking about.
• It will help you if you watch TV, listen to the radio and/or read a lot of newspapers, magazines and/or books. You need to read in order to know what is going on in the world. Remember and note what you would like to share later. Think and look for something new, because it is so interesting and entertaining. In this way, you will have new knowledge that may one day become useful during a conversation with another person. You can impress with your knowledge when you are least expected to. And then you can enhance the effect by moving on to topics that will give the interlocutor / interlocutor food for thought. You will have something that may interest other people and, thus, before you start communicating with the person you are interested in, you will develop the qualities necessary for this communication. So you will become the desired interlocutor.
• If you are shy make sure in advance that you have a couple of topics in reserve on which you can speak freely.
• Watch how the interlocutor / interlocutor behaves. If he/she seems interested, continue. If he/she is looking at his watch or, worse, trying to get rid of you, then you have dragged out your speech.
• Interesting and funny quotes or facts can make communication easier and help you find something else to talk about. You can also specifically learn some quotes that will inspire you in the future.
• If you are on the phone, try your best to have the interlocutor / interlocutor also participate in the conversation. If you can't find suitable topic to have a conversation, play a question-and-answer game. Just ask questions. Random questions can have the same effect as pre-prepared questions. This method will help phone conversation successful. You should ask questions that require detailed answers, and not just “yes” or “no”. For example, you ask “What do you know about the owners?”, listen to the answer and, in order for the conversation not to turn into an interrogation, tell what you know about the owners (for example).
• Half the success of your communication depends on non-verbal means of communication. Sometimes what you say doesn't matter. Practice being friendly and inspiring confidence.
• To increase your knowledge, read newspapers and magazines, so you will always have interesting topics for a conversation.

The most difficult thing is to take the first step and it does not matter in relation to what or even to whom. This can include the beginning of a conversation with a stranger or just a dialogue on a serious topic, even with a loved one. Starting a conversation is sometimes difficult, but this does not mean its impossibility, as it may seem at first. The main thing is to find the right approach.

People sympathize, first of all, with those who sincerely smile at them. And this applies to both friends and complete strangers.

Before approaching a person, you should take a few breaths, try to relax (because in a tense state it will be very difficult to carry out your plan).

To start a conversation, it is enough to talk about something immediate, for example, about the weather. Questions about the interlocutor will not be superfluous. Of course, they must be within reason. Most like to talk about their own "I" and no less pleased when they are listened to, and not interrupted.

Be sure to set the direction of the conversation. To begin with, it is recommended to ask questions that need to be answered more than “yes-no”, for example: “I am always inspired by such cozy places, besides, they can give good things for the whole day. What gives you joy?"

Life without a touch of humor is boring. So the conversation should be "diluted" with light jokes (of course, not related to someone's personal qualities or appearance).

As for how to start a serious conversation, you should never start it with the phrase: "I need to tell you something important." Sometimes this can only scare off the interlocutor. In this case, it is necessary that the situation was conducive to the conversation. You should start with frankness, openness to the interlocutor.

Want to know how to start a conversation? How to find a common language with the interlocutor? How to communicate and be interesting? How to keep the conversation going? If you answered “yes” to all the questions, then this article will surely help you.

There are an infinite number of situations that require you to be the first to start a conversation. However, there are also a huge number of ways to do it wrong. Starting a conversation can be extremely stressful, but it won't be as stressful if you follow this guide. After reading the article to the end, you will learn how to start a conversation with any person.

Imagine that you are invited to a wedding, birthday or business meeting. You have a goal - to meet the "right person". You come up, say hello and ... then all your inexhaustible knowledge in the field of psychology disappears, thoughts stop, and there is only one question in my head - what should I say (where to start the conversation) so as not to look like a complete idiot. In the meantime, your right person” runs away from you, looking for a more talkative and verbose interlocutor. Don't want it to be like this? Then to business!

Preparing for a conversation

Before starting a conversation, it would be nice to make sure you have something to say! It will be easier for you if you keep up with the times, know interesting things happening around. To do this, follow the news, read good books and unusual websites, watch interesting movies and TV shows, etc. But this is not enough, because in order to keep the conversation going, you must formulate all these interesting things well. Try to tell a story to yourself, it's a very good workout. If you know in advance who the conversation will be with, find out what this person is interested in and prepare (read newspapers, magazines, books on this topic).

Even a few interesting details about your favorite football team, movie, or TV show can give you a lot to talk about. If you are very shy, make a list possible topics for a conversation, so that in the process of communication not to waste time on inventing, but to act according to a pre-thought-out plan. Try to come up with some unusual questions that should be of interest to your interlocutor. As with topics of conversation, you can make a list of questions.

How to start a conversation

All preparatory work is done, you can start a conversation. First you need to relax. If you are tense, your interlocutors will also feel tense. Take it easy, try to imagine it as a pleasant and rewarding experience. Remember, in communication (conversation) there is nothing to be afraid of. Even if the conversation gets a little boring and you feel uncomfortable, it's hardly the end of the world.

Appearance, clothes, facial expressions can tell you what kind of person is in front of you, and what you can talk to him about. If you have absolutely nothing to say, look around, you will definitely find a lot of things nearby that are worth talking about. The conversation itself can be started with a compliment. But don't be too early to compliment any part of your body. For example, if you say immediately upon meeting: “You have such beautiful eyes!”, It may sound like flattery. And if you say: “You have such beautiful legs!”, then it will sound too impudent and vulgar. Compliments of this kind can only be made if your interlocutor is included in the circle of closest friends. It will be better if the compliment is neutral. For example, like this: "You have very beautiful shoes, I am pleased to deal with a person who has taste."

Pay attention to the answers of your interlocutor, if he answers in monosyllables "yes" or "no" to many of your questions, then probably the topic of your conversation is not too pleasant for him. It is also possible that he is in bad mood, in this case it is better to postpone the conversation until better times.

Joining a conversation

If you notice an interesting conversation already in progress, you can try joining it. But you should not do this if the conversation is between a guy and a girl. The conversation between them can be too intimate, and if you intervene in it, it will look like a rude intrusion. And even if there are three or more people, carefully evaluate their behavior so as not to become superfluous.

The best way join a conversation with a group of people during a brief lull. You can do this with a short comment or ask a question to get them to start talking again in your presence. If they are discussing the weather, for example, you can ask if anyone has heard if it is going to rain soon.

Mistakes made while talking

There are many common mistakes people make when they are trying to start a conversation. First, do not bring up difficult issues such as death, divorce, etc. Second, never interrupt another person. Another of the most common mistakes is monopolizing the conversation (when only you are talking). Thirdly, try not to complain or discuss someone. After all, it may turn out that the person you are discussing is a close friend or relative of your interlocutor.

15.09.2011 62061 +93