The question itself went like this:

"Hello. Just returned from another meeting with a new girl and somehow even disappointed. IN Lately began to observe the incomprehensible behavior of the girls with whom he met.

I didn't want to meet them again.

They all say both in correspondence and when they call that they want a relationship, they want to be with a man who will be there, respect, love, pay attention, and so on. In general, they seem to be ready and want a relationship, but when communicating live, having met, I see and feel that these are just words.

Somehow invest, do something to build relationships, at least it’s trivial to find time to meet, many girls just have this No.

Today I heard again:

“I don’t have time to meet, a lot of things to do, everything is planned a month in advance, business is a priority, and meetings are last.”

Maybe I'm wrong, but I believe that this is not the way to build relationships. If the girl does not have the opportunity (and, apparently, the desire) to meet.

I have no desire to invest in girls who don't seem to know what they want.

Either I am unsympathetic to her, and in this way she hints that there are no prospects for communication. How to understand such situations? And how can you reveal the truth to a girl?

Yes, Nikolai, there are many such girls on the sites.

I often ask myself: “What the hell are they doing on websites?”.

Practice shows only one thing and all girls come down to this.

The girls have a goal after all - relationship. This is their life purpose - to build a family and create comfort and maintain a hearth. Their task is to develop in this regard.

Why is the girl you're dating behaving the way you described in your question?

Because either:

a) Her program has gone astray and she is now fixated on building her career.

But this is not a completely female program.

b) This girl is not successful enough for me to date her. That's why I won't date her.

I will give an example of those girls with whom relationships worked, and with whom they did not work, and I will tell you why. Then it will become clear why this is happening.

Your question is actually interesting.

I have come across the following situations:

Example 1

The girl wants a relationship, she is ready for them, but she is constantly on the road, because her work involves frequent business trips.

She is a traditional corporate trainer.

The girl is constantly flying. A week in one city on a business trip, arrived for the weekend, stayed for 3 days and again in another city for a week. Lives in another city for 5 days, in a hotel, stayed for 2 days. And so constantly. It is clear that it is difficult for her to build relationships.

My mistake was the following.

Girl says:

“Dude, I agree not to go anywhere if you will pay for my apartment, all my expenses and so on.”

This situation was an experience for me.

But at that moment I replied: "Damn, I'm not ready yet."

Even now, in principle, I am not ready, but I bear part of the expenses for my girlfriend in any case. But I'm not ready to pay the girl 100%. I do not want to do this.

I want to hug a girl who would do something herself, what would be interesting for her and so that she would not just sit at home.

Example 2

Another girl with whom I was in a relationship hardly worked, or rather, she worked for a penny. We lived with her in Ukraine. We lived together and I paid all her expenses for all trips, travels, fully supported her. At some point, I just got tired of it, I realized that the person was stupidly relaxed, he didn’t need anything. He doesn’t want to do anything, he just wants to sit on VKontakte and like something there.

I gave the person acceleration, gave a very good push. I just took her abroad and showed her the possibilities.

He did it so well that now a person is constantly in Europe, Asia, travels "non-stop" even more than I do. This is also my merit. This girl had time for relationships and she was ready to build them. But, again, I must be ready to take on some functions of the moments in the male part - the function of the earner.

Example 3

This correct option relationship development.

The girl is already doing well in life, she has a chic apartment, she has an excellent job, she arrives at work at 11 o'clock and finishes work at 18-19. After work, she goes straight home.

The girl does not bring any work home, there are no urgent calls and calls. We were sent on business trips once for training for three days during the year of our communication, this is the maximum.

She has a great relationship with her boss, semi-familiar. And a very good salary. At the time when we met, she earned 3 times more than me.

Everything in her life was already good, she was 100% ready for a relationship. This girl wanted a family and a child. And such a girl was in my card and we were in a relationship with her.

Example 4

Another option, the wrong option, when the girl was not ready for a relationship.

It ended up being pretty interesting.

The girl is at work. She had to complete all the projects at the same time. Right now I'm about the same.

There is no time for meetings, no time for dates, in general, constantly on the road, she does everything herself, does not delegate anything. 80% of what can be delegated is done by itself.

I resented her very much, she didn’t even have time to go to the cinema with me. But there were also my jambs. If I took some of the burden off her, helped her to delegate, somehow participated in the maintenance of this girl, this girl would definitely be in her cashier.

She got out of the relationship, said, "I don't like that." When after some time we phoned her, I called to get feedback, she said: “I'm already expecting a baby, eight months pregnant. I have a dude who works hard, everything is cool with us.

She found someone just like herself, who works even harder.

Anyway, I found the time.

The idea is this - if you meet right person , you will see for yourself that the girl still has time for a relationship as a priority. Because, as a rule, she has already closed all the other points. This is for me personally, how it goes for me.

Or the second option - you will become the right person.

How will this be expressed?

You have the opportunity to remove all other hemorrhoids from this girl in order to allow this girl to devote maximum time to relationships.

Girls who say: « Oh, I have so many things to do, so many things to do»…

If they are not careerists, but simply cannot help but do this, this means that they live somewhere in general in an uncomfortable sleeping area, not in the best conditions. They often rent apartments, work for a not very high salary, and do a million different things at work. They make commitments to make the project work.

She is released late, tries to study at the same time, and so on. Basically, you can beat them. Too many girls to focus on one.

I would immediately say to these girls: « Ok google, thanks, no, let's move on».

The NEXT button works for everyone, there are too many of them. Understand that there is too much traffic and there is always a choice.

The choice is to:

a) to meet the right girl.

b) to become such a man himself.

I haven't been in a serious relationship often, although I can do it more often now. I just quickly find a girl of a certain status.

After a very busy girl that I couldn't afford to keep, my next relationship was a girl where I just took all the expenses of keeping her. Completely contained it.

Example 5

Another example of a girl who was also suitable for a relationship.

How was it expressed?

Everything is fine at work, he never takes work home at all.

At 18:00-19:00 she left, left work. I worked from 09:00 to 19:00, that's all.

He spends his weekends with me.

I also try not to be a workaholic now.

On weekends (Saturday and Sunday) I do not work, but I spend maximum time with a girl or with friends.

This is a good plan.

This girl had a goal - to meet a man for a relationship with whom you can build a family. And she was ready for this, openly talking about it. I see that it hits my target audience. She has time and desire for this.

It often happens that the reason for the separation of lovers remains behind the "seven seals" and remains incomprehensible to two for a long time. Sometimes it is difficult for a young man to understand that a girl wants to leave and why he was left alone in the end. Therefore, you need to carefully look at the behavior of your chosen one. This article describes real advice for guys.

How to understand that a girl wants to break up with you

If your communication has become rare, it is easy to understand that the girl wants to leave. You no longer talk on the phone and do not receive unexpected pleasant SMS. It means that you do not cause in her such feelings that prompted her to be in touch with you all the time. Find the reason, maybe it was you who stopped paying due attention to her and this is the subsequent reaction from the girl.

If you have practically stopped talking, then most likely the girl makes it clear that she wants to leave. If before she shared literally everything with you that she could, now she does not give you any information about her life. Do you feel awkward when you are alone, as if you are 14 years old or you are two unfamiliar people? You should think about relationships.

Most likely, you used to go to various discos, parties, and now she begins to come up with more and more excuses, which sometimes sound very stupid and ridiculous.

If you meet and do not live together, then your meetings have become mundane: you meet somewhere “on the run” or familiar places, exchanged two or three words and fled. This sure sign being avoided but delaying the moment to say so.

Pay attention to the intimate side of your relationship. Here it is easiest to understand that the girl wants to leave. Sex brings pleasure only to you, and the girl immediately runs into the shower, not showing any initiative to continue?

Or her behavior in terms of intimacy has changed. If earlier you were ready to experiment a lot, now, she does not even want to make love to you. This is a very bad sign. So, you should talk to her and find out the reason.

The girl avoids eye-to-eye looks, tries not to kiss or touch you among people. Explanations that such behavior embarrasses her is a deception. She moves away from you and your caresses her are not pleasant.

Understanding that a girl wants to break up is easy if she is constantly busy. She gives various reasons for avoiding meeting you. Do not panic, maybe this is not the reason at all and she is really busy;

If you live together and the girl is constantly dissatisfied with your behavior, points out your shortcomings to you, ignores your signs of attention, you need to sit down and calmly discuss the reasons for her discontent. Maybe the reason is really you, and you are not taking any steps to improve the situation.

Understanding a girl is a very difficult science, and understanding when she wants to break up with you is even more difficult because of your own emotions. You will have to be patient!

Reasons for breakups:

Often this happens because feelings fade away. And young people, due to inexperience, cannot immediately change and correct the situation;

Another reason - different tempers or different types of people. Your interests do not overlap;

Different goals. Each person's priorities in life may not coincide with yours;

Relationships do not have prospects and do not develop. This is the fault of both partners, because your feelings should grow and unite you to create a family;

Both partners are waiting for the best chosen one.

How to understand that a girl wants not to leave, but to teach a lesson

Quite often, girls begin to behave coldly, aloofly, or aggressively, so that the guys remain at a loss and begin to suspect that the girl wants to break up. In fact, in this way a girl can simply express her dissatisfaction with the relationship or resentment towards you.

Remember, you may:

Spend too little time with her and she often told you about it.

Do not keep promises, do not call back, forget about her requests? These things really offend girls.

Allow yourself some words or actions that offend your girlfriend. Especially in the presence of strangers.

Do not give her gifts and flowers. Even a person with very modest financial resources can afford to buy a soft toy or a bouquet of daisies from a grandmother at a bus stop, do it!

Perhaps there are some deeply intimate things that offend your girlfriend, but she cannot tell you about it.

It is not so easy to understand that a girl wants to leave or that something does not suit her in a relationship. But there is always an opportunity to talk. Often, young people are not experienced with such conversations, but you will have to start. It cannot be learned otherwise.

It is also possible that the girl does not want to leave, but to understand whether she should continue the relationship with you - to test you. Therefore, before making any decision, try to have 2-3 intimate conversations with her. You will understand everything and understand if the girl wants to leave.

You need to talk with a girl delicately, without putting questions "on the forehead", like: "do you not like something ?!" First, talk to the girl about something distant, you can move on to talking about some acquaintances who have relationship problems and discuss someone else's situation (even a fictional one). Then move on to your personal relationships.

Watch the girl's reaction: if you hit a sore point, she will react to this with aggression, tears or gestures, her mood will change. So, this is exactly what worries her or does not suit her in your relationship.

Do you clearly understand that something has changed for the worse in your relationship, but have not yet understood what exactly? Maybe, boy, she wants to piss you off. But maybe you're just too receptive. How to understand that a girl wants to leave for a long time and not fall for the bait of her dubious guesses - I will tell you about this now.

Anxious symptoms of a dating couple

1. You are rarely alone

If earlier you often went to the cinema together, for a walk, or just spent a lot of time alone, and now you meet only with friends, it is most likely that the girl does not want to be with you. You can offer her to go for a walk together, and she will bring her girlfriend. To your offer to go on a romantic picnic, she will answer that it is better to go to drink beer with friends, etc. Yes, something is clearly wrong here. She does not want to be alone with you, which means that she is no longer so pleased with your presence, she does not want kisses and hugs. She will leave you soon.

1. You no longer know about her dreams and plans

If earlier she told you about her dreams, shared the most intimate with you, and now the girl does not want to communicate with you and does not tell anything, a tragic moment will soon come in your relationship. it is felt right away - it will just blow cold from her, she will move away and stop trusting you.

1. "Actively looking"

If earlier it was written on her VK page that she was dating you, and now something like “Single” appeared or the status simply disappeared, this is another alarming symptom. Girls rarely immediately put the status “In active search”, they often make a more tricky move - change it to neutral.

1. Don't hug, don't kiss...

Think about it if she no longer holds your hand, avoids kisses and hugs. If she does not want physical contact or more, you notice that this is unpleasant for her - she is simply not interested in you anymore.

Read also:

1. She makes you angry on purpose

Creation girls are weak and not only physically, but also mentally. And parting with a guy is very difficult. At such moments, girls often do everything so that the guy leaves them himself. That is, they begin to behave defiantly, humiliate a man in public, show signs of attention to other guys in front of their boyfriend, dress frankly, constantly provoke scandals, and much more. So listen to your intuition. If she tells you that your girlfriend suddenly blew off the tower for a reason, she may be waiting for you to run out of patience and leave her.

1. Everything annoys her

You call her, it makes her angry. You call her a bunny - she suddenly begins to think that this is the most stupid name. Hugging the wrong way, kissing like a fool, etc. Unreasonable irritability, of course, can be a sign of critical days, but it can also say that you just piss off the girl and she doesn’t know how to get rid of you.

1. She remembered old friends and started walking without you

Suddenly, her old friends appeared, trips to the club resumed, drinking, parties in which you could not find a place? Or maybe your girlfriend does not even tell you where she will spend the evening today, she lies and does not finish speaking? She almost cut you out of her life.

1. Hooks on boys in front of you

Is she no longer shy about showing signs of attention to other men in front of you? She casually touches others, dances with them, flirts. By then, she had almost crossed you off her list. Get ahead of her - drop her first.

BUT: if you recently fought because of her jealousy, if it seemed to her that you were showing interest in some girl, perhaps she just wants to teach you a lesson in this way.

1. She humiliates you in front of others

If your girlfriend starts comparing you with the guys from your company in front of everyone. If she says to the public that “you are not as strong as Dima”, “and you would be so weak, you couldn’t”, she compares you and you clearly lose in her eyes. loving girl will not humiliate her beloved in front of others (unless, of course, she is not a bitch).

Deceptive signs of an impending breakup

Women's psychology is a very complex thing. Sometimes, even women themselves can not understand themselves. That is why I do not advise you to believe one hundred percent in the list of signs of an impending breakup. Many symptoms are suitable for a girl who was about to leave you, but mostly they appear in those who did not even think about parting.

1. She doesn't write 30 letters an hour

Previously, she constantly called, wrote you romantic messages on VK, threw videos with cute cats and woke you up with her call in the morning? Is it really over after 3 months of your relationship?

You don't have to worry too much, it's completely normal. The euphoria from a new relationship sooner or later passes and communication becomes habitual. Stormy passions are left behind, and calm romantic evenings are becoming the norm. That is why she may gradually stop calling and texting you so often. Her mind will again be taken over by studies, some interests and everything that she loved before. You will become simply the most valuable addition to her life.

Anxiety: but if, and her phone is often turned off or she simply doesn’t pick up the phone for a long time, think about it. She constantly does not have time to talk, your calls annoy her, and she herself practically does not call or write - yes, this is where she wants to leave you.

But do not panic - ask about the reasons for such behavior. Perhaps she is really busy or she has some problems.

1. She doesn't want to have sex with you anymore.

At first, you just didn't get out of bed, had a very hectic sex life, and now you can't get her into bed? Does she have a constant headache, is she tired or something? Then the case "smells fried." This can be considered a sign that she is no longer physically interested in you and you need to look for a reason to meet ...

But there is another side of the coin. Are you having sex, but not as often as you would like, and you suspect something? Postpone the panic, because the reason for this may be not only the desire to leave.

She may not have wanted to have sex 8 times a night before, but at first she did not want to offend you or seem like a passive, non-passionate girl. That is why she easily made concessions to you, always agreed and was more proactive. And now, when you became very close, began to trust each other and your relationship moved to a new level - she simply stopped seeing the need for this pretense.

And one more thing: over time, any relationship loses its ardor and passion.

Listen when she speaks and when she is silent

Yes, yes, you did not think - to hear her silence. Do quarrels, long conversations and showdowns bother you? Is that why you think you're on the verge of breaking up? No - if she tries to talk to you, if she conveys some of her feelings to you and talks about grievances, then everything is not so bad with you. When a girl cries and talks, talks and cries, she's just trying to keep what you have. She thus solves problems that you may not see and tries to say that she is ill. She is waiting for an answer and some changes. And while she does this, she loves you.

But if she falls silent - it's not good. No, if everything is fine and smooth for you, then this is quite normal. But if yesterday you were cursing, hysterical and still didn’t decide anything, and today she’s just coldly silent about it, looking condescendingly at you, it’s better to talk about it first. When a girl is indifferent to problems in a couple, it means that she either fell out of love or harbored a great resentment, which she simply does not see a way out.

Let her tell you herself

You are man. Therefore, do not wait until the moment when she decides to leave and leaves you with nothing. Just talk to her and find out what she's up to. After all, she can lead you by the nose for months, and then also change with one of your friends.

You need to do one thing: in a calm environment, just ask a direct question: “I see that something is happening. Tell me honestly, do you want to break up with me? That's all - if you have a chance to save the relationship, she will definitely start talking about what does not suit her. And if she made a decision for herself a long time ago, you will make her task easier and you will be able to quickly move away from the situation yourself.

It is extremely difficult to recognize her attitude towards a man behind a playfully flirtatious or deliberately modest behavior of a girl. Moreover, even the advice on non-verbal signals of female sympathy described in fashion magazines is not always useful, because theory is one thing, and practice is quite another. We will talk about how ladies interested in a man actually behave.

How to understand that a girl likes you

Contrary to stereotypes, not every woman will be able to openly flirt with a person who is still unfamiliar to her. Many ladies are embarrassed even just to openly look in the direction of the man they like, not to mention being the first to speak. In addition, it is believed that he should take the first step, and therefore the girls are patiently waiting for this to happen. Only after the acquaintance has been successfully completed, and communication has moved to the stage of ease and ease, the girl will be able to more intelligibly show her desires.

In order to find out what the girl wants at the beginning of the relationship, the guy can only carefully observe her, trying to recognize the cherished sparks of sympathy in her behavior.

• The girl casts interested glances at you, but noticing a return look from you, she quickly changes focus to nearby objects - she is afraid to betray her interest.
• A lady who is pleasant to a man will be happy to keep up a conversation with him. The only exceptions are cases when a girl is very well educated and incredibly delicate - she will be cordial, with a smile to communicate even with a person who is completely indifferent to her as a potential lover.
• If a woman likes you, then she will willingly let you into her intimate space - a distance of up to 40-45 cm from the body, which a person on an unconscious level perceives as an extension of his own body. Take as if by chance a couple of steps towards the girl - if she does not recoil, it means that she perceives you extremely positively.
• A smile can also serve as a good signal of sympathy, especially if it is accompanied by an intriguing look straight into the eyes.
• The girl gives you the opportunity to lead her. The psychology of a woman is arranged in such a way that at first, trying to win over a man to herself, she will strive to imitate a man, as if to follow him. Invite the lady to drink this or that drink, change the table, take a walk in one direction or another, retire away from the noisy crowd to chat in a more intimate setting. He agrees to everything - it means that you want to please you. By the way, the willingness to stay alone with you is also a very clear sign that a woman likes you.

How to know if a girl wants to date

The tips above will help you determine general mood girls to you. But to find out if the girl wants romantic relationship with you, it will be possible only after some time after meeting.

If the first communication went very well, ask the girl for a phone number in order to be able to call her the other day and arrange a meeting. If she does not refuse, this is already a very good sign. Further, most likely, a stormy correspondence will follow via SMS and messages on social networks, as well as trips to the cinema, cafes, parks and other places that meet the traditions of the candy-bouquet period of relations. Try to periodically take the lady by the hand, hug her waist, shoulders, as if by chance straightening her hair. If she reacts positively to this, responding with a playful smile and flirtatious looks, then everything is heading towards a love affair.

After taking her home again, try to kiss. By whether she agrees, as well as how passionate the kiss is, it will be possible to find out if the girl wants to have sex with you.

If she quickly turns away, pretending not to notice your impulse, and also does not express a desire to kiss in the following days of meetings, then most likely she considers you exclusively as a friend. But just in case, it will be possible to clarify this point by directly asking the lady about it - after all, you are no longer strangers, why be ashamed.

When a girl openly flirts

Coquetry undisguised by restrained intelligence can be recognized even by the most ignorant young man in love affairs. A frank direct look, a charming smile, a playful twisting of a curl on a finger, a demonstration of the beauty of the figure and legs, as if by accidental touches - all this betrays the desire of a liberated lady to get to know a man better.

Should you go for such a relationship? Definitely yes, if you want to have a nice evening or maybe the next few months. However, keep in mind that such girls, the conquerors of men's hearts, as a rule, know their worth very well and know how to control relationships. That is why novels with them are not always as simple, easy and positive as you would like.